Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Is it selfish to ttc whilst at university?

25 replies

CrookshanksPotter · 16/02/2019 10:43

I'm off to university in September on a funded healthcare based course. My tuition fees are paid for and I get a small amount of money free. Because of my age we'd like to ttc when I'm in 2nd year. During the time out I wouldn't be getting any money (hence the delay until 2nd year so we can save enough) but obviously it would disrupt my course.

Is this selfish - 1) from a university / hospital perspective and 2) from the perspective of our prospective DC as it'd mean less money, potentially more childcare depending on placements etc?

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 16/02/2019 10:46

It depends on how old you are.

Mid late thirties and you need to get on with it. Before then and you need to weight up the advantages of getting through the course and achieving a good qualification, against your desire to have a child when younger.

Racecardriver · 16/02/2019 10:48

The university won’t be affected. People interrupt studies all the time for various reasons. In terms of your children it depends on whether you can actually afford them. No harm in studying with young children. But not being able to do normal things that children need because of lack of funds is a bit miserable.

SarahAndQuack · 16/02/2019 13:15

No, I think it's fine. I've taught mature students who had children and a couple who became pregnant - people's lives don't suddenly go on hold just because they're studying. The money side of things is a bit more uncertain, but presumably this course will ultimately improve your earning potential?

SnailorSwift · 16/02/2019 13:19

As @Racecardriver said people take time off/defer a year all the time in uni for various reasons.

I had DS the summer between 2nd and 3rd year and so didn't take time off as just went back and worked round him.

It wasn't easy but ultimately worth it and I was able to take some time out between graduating and starting a permanent job to spend with him which was great.

brutplonk · 16/02/2019 13:50

Yes it is, wait until you have completed the course

SarahAndQuack · 16/02/2019 15:49

Why is it, brut?

nocoolnamesleft · 16/02/2019 15:52

I think you risk losing emotional support by switching years - from a group with friends you've made to one that has already got friendships in place.

Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 16/02/2019 16:51

I think you risk losing emotional support by switching years

That is a worry.

Before then and you need to weight up the advantages of getting through the course and achieving a good qualification

What makes you think I wouldn't get a good qualification?

It will definitely largely improve my earning potential, especially long term. I limited in my job currently by not having a degree and can't progress without one.

In terms of finances, we can afford things like childcare, groups etc but I don't think we'd be able to afford holidays and things like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 16/02/2019 16:53

It wasn't easy but ultimately worth it and I was able to take some time out between graduating and starting a permanent job to spend with him which was great.

That's so good you had time off with him. I'm so glad you felt it was worth it. How did you find balancing assignments etc with spending time with him?

OP posts:
StellaMorris · 16/02/2019 16:55

DM had her DC2 and 3 whist studying. It took her 7 years to do a 3 year course. Her results and my sister’s birth were in the same paper on the same day.

Parthenope · 16/02/2019 16:59

How long is the full course of study?

The university won't mind, but based on my experience (I'm an academic) of students who interrupt their studies for some reason, a significant percentage struggle with getting back into the swim of things when/if they return, having lost their original momentum, seeing their peers go on without them and feeling left behind, dealing with new responsibilities (like a baby) and the same deadlines/workrate etc.

Will interrupting have a follow-on impact on your funding when you return?

BaronessBomburst · 16/02/2019 17:01

How long is the course?
Wouldn't it just be easier to get the qualification first? DS was a velcro baby who fed constantly. I would never have managed to study when he was little.
Regarding it being selfish to the uni?
Naah. There's not an employer or institution out there that wouldn't screw you over if it suited them. Go with what suits you.

Oakmaiden · 16/02/2019 17:03

Well, on one hand you should do what suits you, really.

On the other - why not just finish your course first?

SnailorSwift · 16/02/2019 17:10

That's so good you had time off with him. I'm so glad you felt it was worth it. How did you find balancing assignments etc with spending time with

@CrookshanksPotter in all honesty I found it tricky but I managed it. I remember writing assignments with DS on my knee. I actually probably got my assignments done more quickly and effectively with less procrastination because I knew I needed to prioritise my free time well. Trying to balance both made me much more organised and productive!

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 16/02/2019 17:15

If age isn't on your side, then it's doable and some people sail through pregnancy, birth and parenting. However there are so many potential hurdles that could derail your plans, such as PND, a baby who doesn't sleep, a baby with medical issues etc which could make studying at the same time almost impossible.

Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 16/02/2019 18:54

The course is 3 years. Yes we could wait but time isn't on the side of myself or DP.

Re funding I wouldn't get paid during maternity leave but no issues upon return, I just get the funding again for the remainder of the course then.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 17/02/2019 19:34

Me again, in terms of applying for jobs afterwards, would it be better to

Take a gap between 2nd and 3rd year and then be able to apply for jobs straight after university

Or

Try to get pregnant during 3 year and then be applying for jobs heavily pregnant knowing I'll soon be going on maternity leave (in which case I don't anyone would employ me)

OP posts:
anniehm · 18/02/2019 18:36

Whilst people are right, it doesn't matter to the university, don't expect them to be overly helpful either. Timing wise between years 2&3 is best as many take a year abroad then so you would find some of your cohort would be back with you on your return (assuming a year out) alternatively with excellent timing you could aim for the July and return in September but childcare and superwoman organisation will be required!!!

ReaganSomerset · 18/02/2019 18:44

Depends on the demands of the course. Not all are equal in terms of time required. I was in uni five days a week for at least five hours a day, plus extra reading, assignments etc. But I had a flatmate reading history and she was in twice a week for a couple of hours and just did reading and assignments whenever.

DerelictWreck · 18/02/2019 18:52

If healthcare then presumably involves placements? I think the bigger problem will be trying to manage those with a baby. Have you considered how you'll manager childcare?

Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 19/02/2019 07:58

If healthcare then presumably involves placements? I think the bigger problem will be trying to manage those with a baby. Have you considered how you'll manager childcare?

@DerelictWreck Yes we have placements. We have two longer placements in 3rd year. In terms of childcare, we'd plan to use the same childcare as we would if I had a full time job. Placements are typically 8 hours a day Monday - Thursday and early finish on a Friday, so less hours than a full time job. I'm not sure exactly what childcare (in terms of nursery vs nanny) we'd use but we'd assess it at the time and see what's available. I don't see it any different to having a full time job in that respect though maybe I'm just being naive or missing something?

many take a year abroad then so you would find some of your cohort would be back with you on your return

Sadly my course doesn't offer the year abroad so my cohort would have graduated if I took a year out. Re having a baby in July and going back September that would require impeccable timing plus my course runs until the end of July.

@ReaganSomerset yes the course is pretty intense in that it is full days and then as above on placement is 8 hours 4 days and shorter day on a Friday.

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 19/02/2019 08:51

Normally health placements involve shifts, including a requirement for a certain number of night shifts, but obviously yours don't (perhaps it's just nursing/medicine that do). That was my only reason for flagging :)

ReaganSomerset · 19/02/2019 08:56

Hmm. I'm contemplating going back to work 4 days a week, 7.5 hours a day and feeling horrendous about it. Most other mums I know have dropped to 2 or 3 days because it's bloody hard (for many mums) to leave your baby in the care of others for that length of time (and sub-optimal for the baby too, not to mention expensive). I'd price local options up first and also see what's available in the area. Maybe even go and see some of the day nurseries (most of the ones near me I'd never put a child in). If you're over about 35, I'd go for it. Yes, it is selfish but, ultimately, all procreation is.

Phphion · 19/02/2019 09:01

Would your placements be in normal working hours? The issue with placements on courses like midwifery and nursing is that they often aren't and that the timings change as you move between placements.

Original poster
CrookshanksPotter · 19/02/2019 09:57

That makes sense about placements. All of ours are 9 am - 5 pm (or thereabouts) Monday - Friday with no requirements to do shifts / nights etc.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page