Has anyone found it difficult after taking a gap year?

[Ribenita]

My dd took a gap year and is now in her second term at her university. Whilst she is loving it, she says that she finds quite a lot
of people to be immature. She has always been quite mature. Who knows, perhaps if she hadn’t taken a year out she’d be on the same level as her cohort.

She finds quite a few of her friends to think of themselves as mature, but in reality just lack life experience. Lots of them (as like her before year off) just did gcse, a levels, straight to university, and have not had time to become more rounded and generally have experience with life.

Dd lived completely independently, and worked a normal job, before travelling etc, and she grew up a lot. She says it’s not a huge deal, but she finds it quite amusing how grown up some think they are. She can usually spot someone from a mile off if they had a year out.

Although heck, I’m sure the third or fourth years think the same of her.

I am having the exact same situation with my daughter. Only she did one course, finished the year, had a gap year and now is studying a different course. In fact it's looking like she's leaving this course now too...

No advice I'm afraid but I can see their point of view, the younger students can still be very immature even if you're just one year older.

Good luck

dd has had an extra year at school and will be going to uni in September. She grew up a lot in that extra year, is very mature. She's slightly dreading having to live with lots of immature teens!

I had 2 gap years before going to university. Luckily my flatmates in 1st year were all 20/21 and had done others things before going to university, so in that respect we were quite similar. By 2nd year our friendship fizzled out and I made other friends. My experience is that by 2nd or 3rd year there will probably be less of a difference between your dd and her classmates, as others start to become more independent by being at university or working ft during the summer.

DS is a bit concerned about this too. He's boggling slightly at how involved parents seem to be in the whole application process for current year 13s (though he ate his words when he needed emergency Personal Statement help at the last minute).

After a tiff with his younger sib last week, he did say 'Why am I going away to live with masses of other people's 18 year olds when I can get the same grief at home?'

Yes and no.

There will be plenty around who have had gap years. Others are often envious and DD said at one point people were banned from talking about the ski season.

DD was in a difficult flat, and problems were in part caused by people being away from home for the first time, so reinventing themselves. It was not just the gap year. DD grew up in central London and we realised that this had allowed her to form her own tribe who tended to go to each others houses, different from a small town where sixth formers might hang out at commercial venues in a wider group.

I think a key moment was one of her flatmates accused her of being boring because she did not take Ketamine. DD reckoned this girl did not realise how dull she was. The extra year's maturity was one of the things that helped her get through. Plus one of the least mature, who was apparently really swotty at school, and who went badly off the rails now looks very ill indeed.

Second year is fine. Her flatmates come from different backgrounds and different parts of the country, but are all quite engaged in University life. The fact that DD had a gap year is just one part of their diversity, with the extra experience helps when it comes to flat admin.

No, not at all.Its benefitted my Dd enormously. It gave her the confidence to mix with lots of people from different backgrounds which has been a asset at Uni. The only thing she has got mildly cross at is the superior attitude of the second year vets to the first years. Apparently it’s like being back at school and being the ‘babies’ again.

I'm glad you started this thread. I think DD just wasn't ready for university in September, although she has on many occasions said she regrest not going because all her friends and boyfriend are away at university. I did warn her that she would find it difficult, but she got a temporary job and made some new friends.

Her worry is that she will have forgotten too much when she starts and she will be with a load of much cleverer than her students who will have more knowledge than her.