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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

University, where do we start?

81 replies

schoolnut123 · 06/10/2018 09:27

Hello. I’m looking for advice I have no idea where to start. So my child is in his second year of A levels but is completely clueless about what/how to apply for universities. I assumed this is something they would be doing through college? College say they’ve given him info, so I assume he needs to start applying directly to universities himself? I’m sorry it seems like a stupid question but I really don’t know how this process works (never had the opportunity myself!)

OP posts:
MarchingFrogs · 07/10/2018 17:07

DS1 completed his entire application with no input from us other than a bit of guidance over universities (totally unscientific, I just suggested ones I'd had contact with through work - not that any of my contacts were in his department) and company and finance for open days and applicant days. The rest was between him and the school; admittedly a grammar school with a fairly dynamic Head of Sixth Form and I have no idea what our local colleges are like.

(We have already just got rather more involved with DD's current UCAS application, since she decided to entertain us with the first draft of her PS over lunchHmm).

Kr1stina · 07/10/2018 17:13

He sounds completly lacking in motivation and initiative TBH. Unless your son has some learning disability that you haven’t mentioned .

The school will have given them information and there is plenty online.

I think you have to conclude that the only person who is interested in him going to university next year is you. Which isn’t going to work I’m afraid. You can’t cajole him into applying .

Why dont you talk to him about applying for jobs instead? Then he can earn some cash and save , in case he decides to go to uni later.

Do you think he would prefer to do an apprenticeship ?

BubblesBuddy · 07/10/2018 17:17

My DDs were more like your DC, Marching, but for the OP, hearing about the very organised DC doesn’t really help. Although I don’t understand why there hasn’t been any chat at home about this, with friends or a parents’ presentation at the college. I would actually contact the college to see what’s been missed. Is there a power point presentation they could forward on university applications for example? I just think DS isn’t that bothered if his friends aren’t. Inertia all round.

PillowOfSociety · 07/10/2018 17:24

He can always apply next year, once his grades are known.

Lots of Yr 13s are not yet confident enough in choosing a subject or knowing if they really want to do Uni.

LoniceraJaponica · 07/10/2018 19:11

"although we have had no contact about applying or references"

We had a UCAS parents evening when DD was in year 12, but no other contact from school. DD completed her UCAS form and did her personal statement at school. I don't believe that the school hasn't gone through this with your son. It sounds like he isn't ready to apply for university.

Daisymay2 · 07/10/2018 19:28

Yeah- we had a parents' university application meeting in the summer term of year 12, and they were taken to a UCAS day at a local university around the same time.
Very strange that the University tutor is off until October half term- Oxbridge/dental medicine vet have to be into UCAS mid October I think. If he /she is off sick surprised no one is standing in. Is the college used to university applications- can't imagine that they aren't ?
Agree with pp- he doesn't sound ready or interested. Any idea what he wants to study ( or not)?

Kr1stina · 08/10/2018 15:29

Please don’t worry Op, they are not closing the universities any time soon. They will all still be there is and when he wants to apply. His A level results are good for 5 years. After that he needs to show evidence of recent study.

So plenty time. Lots of teenagers haven’t a clue what they want to do and its a very expensive mistake to go to the wrong university or take the wrong course. Better to take his time and do it right.

Most young people will do much better going at 21 than they will at 18.

chocatoo · 08/10/2018 16:05

There is still time but I think you will struggle to go to open days - I get the impression that most of those have been an gone. You could still go and visit the unis though and have a walk round, but I suspect that you won't be able to see the living accommodation, etc. Depends, maybe you can arrange something with the unis. You def need to start today though - time is of the essence if he wants to apply this year.
Maybe consider taking a year out?

LoniceraJaponica · 08/10/2018 16:13

DD is taking a gap year because she wasn't sure about what she wanted to do. She has had more time to consider her options. With her A level results she now nows where she can apply and also what subject she wants to do.

Xenia · 08/10/2018 16:54

I think this is a difference between good and bad schools to be hojnest. In the schools a lot of our children go into their are deadlines and every child is applying. By end of summer term July 18 you would have done your draft personal statement in my sons' school and sent it to the teachers for comments i.e. 3 months ago. It is appalling if some schools don't seem geared up for it like this. If he is Oxbridge he would be putting in his applicaitons in September or October and if not probably submitting in October never mind deadlines next year.

He needs to start drafting the statement, choose his 5 universities. check with the school and you they are not over ambitious choices or not under ambitious, check what grades are required for the courses and then get on with putting in the application.

MarchingFrogs · 08/10/2018 17:36

There are still quite a few open days still to come, although it seems that the Saturday just gone was what one might describe as 'National Open Day Day'.
www.opendays.com/calendar/

LoniceraJaponica · 08/10/2018 18:18

I agree Xenia. DD said they spent a lot of time on personal statements in year 12.

It seems to me that the "higher end" universities don't have as many open days or have them so late in the year.

Piggywaspushed · 08/10/2018 19:39

OP my DS is more like yours. many MNers have very verry focused children. There is another thread I am on where you will find me bewailing my DS , for the same reason as yours. No offence intended to other posters"

There are still loads of Open Days left,as it goes! Panic not.

I think school really do assume a lot of support and knowledge from parents, which is odd in this day and age on so much nursemaiding through the rest of education (and I'm a teacher and fell like I know bugger all!)

I would suggest going straight to the school yourself to find out their key dates. This is the only way I know their internal deadline for UCAS stuff in Nov 2nd (aaaarrrrghhhh!)

Piggywaspushed · 08/10/2018 19:41

xenia how does that early stuff benefit students (linke my DS and OP's) who have no clue what they want to do? It's great if they do, obviously, but some need to wait longer, until Open Days are attended, a few exams are sat etc etc

Original poster
schoolnut123 · 08/10/2018 20:22

Piggywaspushed - thank you for your comment. I will be contacting college tomorrow after having no response via email to his tutor. He has listed a few universities and booked in for open days. So starting to feel a bit more positive, and him motivated I hope. I have to say most of these responses have been really helpful although some harsh. My son does not a learning difficulty as has been mentioned on one response, he is bright and confident in all his subjects but unfortunately extremely lazy. For the other replies, I am very grateful. Thank you. x

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 08/10/2018 20:31

It actually sounds like he is further ahead than mine now! It is extraordinarily stressful. I genuinely had no idea it would be this awful! Parenthood genuinely never gets easier (fingers crossed for DS2...)

Original poster
schoolnut123 · 08/10/2018 20:48

Hopefully we are making progress. He’s signed up for a few open days over the next few weeks and has made a start on his personal statement over the weekend. I’ve had no contact at all from college and no response to my email so I shall be on the phone first thing tomorrow. We have no idea what their deadline is or if they will give him a reference. On the plus side, it’s pushed my youngest into deciding what she wants to do after GCSE!

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 09/10/2018 18:09

"OP my DS is more like yours. many MNers have very verry focused children"

I agree. DD wasn't sure what she wanted to do, and I felt envious of parents whose DC knew exactly where they wanted to go and what to study.

I am shocked at the lack of support from the college, although are you sure that they aren't just doing UCAS stuff at college with the students, and your son isn't paying enough attention?

DD's school did a lot with the students. All I had to do was book open days and take DD to them.

Piggywaspushed · 09/10/2018 18:45

I think most schools do quite a lot : but I am not sure they have much time for/notice the ones wh are a bit disengaged from the process. It wrily amuses me that otehrs on these thread mention a 'university tutor' : do students in oetrh schools really get this sort of personalised attention from a member of staff?

Piggywaspushed · 09/10/2018 18:46

Oh, Lord, please do excuse my typos!

Serin · 09/10/2018 19:00

Hi OP, Your DS doesn't have to visit a uni to apply to it, its good if he can, to get a feel for the place but it is absolutely not essential.

Your DS can apply for up to 5 uni's, on one UCAS application. Most people choose one aspirational uni (for if they do better than expected), 3 realistic ones and one that has lower entry requirements as insurance.

Once a uni has reviewed your sons application they decide whether to make him an offer or not. He can hold these offers until they all come in and then he can choose which one to make "Firm".
Once he has "firmed" an offer then it is final really, that's the one he is going to.
A uni might make him a conditional offer eg AAB or if they really like him they might offer unconditional which means they will still offer him a place regardless of his final grades.

If he doesn't get any offers he gets to choose another few unis and the process is repeated.

If he fluncks his A Levels and doesn't meet his offers there is always a chance to get in through "clearing", which is the system Uni's use to fill up any places they might have available once the exam results are known. Lots of people get into uni through clearing.

If your DS wants to do a course at Oxford/Cambridge or Medicine/Vet science then he has really left it too late for this year and would need to apply for 2020 instead.

My DS is taking a gap year after his A levels this year as he isn't completely sure what he wants to study yet.

Don't panic, its a difficult system if you haven't been through it before.
Also!! Don't forget to apply for student finance and to open a bank account for him (if he hasn't got one!)

Original poster
schoolnut123 · 09/10/2018 19:11

Thanks so much. This has been really helpful. I have left a voicemail for his tutor today after having no response to email. But instead of calling me back she’s booked him in for a one to one.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 09/10/2018 20:15

school, are you sure you aren't me? Am I in a parallel universe??

Original poster
schoolnut123 · 09/10/2018 20:37

It’s all giving me grey hairs! It’s possible he’s not been paying much attention but to have no idea? We have no clue when what the college deadline is. So can he just apply to ucas himself? Tutor clearly not wanting to speak to me which I assume is because he’s technically not a child?

OP posts:
Xenia · 09/10/2018 21:24

On trhe comment asking me why doing a draft of the PS by July helps people, it just gets the lazy so and sos to have got their act together in the last term of lower sixth to have a think about subjects and get on with a draft. I don't see why it's a problem. They have to pick their subject at some point. Our school had the usual talks for parents and teenagers and then sent home notes with the various deadlines in and then there is one teacher in charge of UCAS applications who checks them all as does their personal tutor and a third teacher as well just to make sure they are along the right lines. My twins produced totally different ones from each other and one was particularly nicely done I thought - I wasn't shown it until the end and his head said on an open day how much they liked it which was nice. I think it was because he did it completely on his own with his own ideas about his subject and it was so unlike others I'd seen we liked it. His brother's was a bit more normal. They both got in where they wanted to go.

Not everyone wants to go to open days and you can see a lot on line anyway but it up to the pupil. It would be inconceivable at my sons' school that the university entrance tutor would be away in the first half of the Autumn temr -instead they are dealing with the Oxbridge people first and the others and dealing with queries from parents and boys every day. It is their most busy time. (This is a school where just about 100% of students go to good universities though - schools where hardly anyone goes will be different)