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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni as a mature (40) student. What to expect?

235 replies

RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 16/08/2018 14:11

I'm starting uni next month as a 40 year old LP and I'm nervous!
I've had the UCAS 'congratulations!' Email for a while but as of today I've started getting emails from the uni and it's now feeling a lot more real!
Stupid things are preoccupying my thoughts such as what should I wear 😂 and what if I don't make any friends because I'm so old 😭.

I'm doing Environmental science and I can't wait but I'm now equally scared and excited.

Are there any mature students out there that can give me some perspective and/or stories of oldies done good?!

OP posts:
morningtoncrescent62 · 07/10/2018 17:33

I've just seen this thread. I did a degree as a mature student and LP back in the 90s - my DC were 6 and 7 when I started. This thread has brought back memories of how nervous I was at the start. I was convinced I wasn't going to be clever enough to manage the coursework and I wouldn't make any friends. The first few weeks were completely overwhelming but by the middle of the first semester I'd settled into a routine both for uni work and home life. After that I couldn't call it plain sailing, it was always demanding, but I knew how to keep on top of things. Someone said to me early on that a degree is a marathon and not a sprint, with the important thing being to pace yourself and run your own race. For me, what worked was to schedule my time very carefully each semester, building in pre-emptive deadlines for coursework and studying for exams so that if/when emergencies happened there was no need to panic, and also building in non-uni time to spend with my DDs.

Looking back, I can honestly say that the decision to do a degree was the best one I ever made and I got such a lot from it - not only the qualifications, but a level of confidence which completely transformed my life. And a lot of it was fun - I made good friends of all ages, not just other mature students. Good luck everyone who's just started!

NymanPerkins · 07/10/2018 18:46

Hello Mornington, thanks for sharing your experience. I did my first degree in the 90s, too, with small children. I think your suggestions are spot on. Ever thought about a masters or a phd? Wink

SeaGlassHunter · 07/10/2018 20:16

Thanks mornington - good to hear from someone who has come out the other side!

I spent six uninterrupted hours in the library today and have made a good dent in my reading list. It's strange, when I'm actually sitting down studying I feel quite in control, it's just thinking about it that sends me into panics!

We've all got appointments to see our tutor this week. I'm a bit nervous about what we're going to talk about. I think everything is going OK, but I've always got this nagging doubt that I'm missing something!

There is a post grad drinks reception on Tuesday night, but it clashes with DD's pony club and DS1's rugby training. I could juggle things around and go, but I'm not sure it's worth it just for a drinks reception. I know networking is important, but I'm not great at that sort of thing!

morningtoncrescent62 · 08/10/2018 19:02

Ever thought about a masters or a phd?

Funny you should mention that! I do think about it, from time to time. I don't need a higher degree for career progression (I'm happy enough where I am and I've probably left it too late in any case for promotion) but I sometimes think about doing a masters for the fun of it. The only trouble is I can't decide what I'd want to do! I live in a city with four universities so I'm rather spoilt for choice, and every time I look online at the options, there seem to be more and more that I'd love to do.

queribus · 09/10/2018 19:15

First practical today which i'd been dreading. It was fine and even funny. I worked with a chap from my tutor group and we got on OK. Don't feel quite so bad now. Did have a bit of a weep know the toilets beforehand Blush

SeaGlassHunter · 10/10/2018 20:23

Glad your practical went well queribus

I'm feeling better this week than I did last week, things are starting to make a bit more sense. I'm spending a lot of time in the library though to get to that point!

Had a meeting with my personal tutor today. She told me not to worry about feeling as though everyone else knows more than me, according to her a lot are just pretending that they do... She also pointed out that I will be streets ahead of the nervous twenty somethings when it comes to presentations as I'm used to doing them "in real life". Which made me feel better.

I went for a lunchtime walk with a few other PG students from the PG Soc, which was nice. Most of them are PhD students but there are a few others doing masters degrees. Good to have people to chat to about stuff!

SeaGlassHunter · 13/10/2018 18:37

OK, I've come down with the lurgy. Swollen glands, sore throat, temperature. Am surely too old for Fresher's flu!!!!

PipeTheFuckDown · 14/10/2018 21:59

@seaglass I had it last week, and obviously the DC caught it too Sad it’s awful. I’m at the tail end now, hope you feel better soon Flowers

Struggling with lab partners. I don’t know anyone at all. I’ve had two so far, one was fine but the other was a pain. He didn’t know what he was doing (it was microscopy) and whenever I called a demonstrator over for help he was getting really pissy with me Angry They’re there to help ffs!

ExDP had a serious workplace accident Thursday. He’s fine (for now) but has bad multi site burns Sad So I’ve had all 3DC this weekend, two of which were very upset but ExDP is in no state to look after them, he looks absolutely horrendous.

So that buggered me up in terms of study this weekend.

queribus · 15/10/2018 03:12

pipe sorry to hear about your ex - hope your dc aren't too upset.

I'm the same with lab partners. I've only had one session so far and it was OK, but quite awkward. No one really talks to me and still feel like a fish out of water.

Tbh I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. The commute is worse than I imagined, plus year long road works start next month on the most direct route. I have a two hour round trip for a 45 min Iecture on Friday afternoons.

I feel my level of maths and science is pretty woeful so I'm behind before I start. Trying not to talk myself out of it, but feel quite unhappy at the moment.

Sorry to koan. Clearly, others have much bigger things to worry aboit

PipeTheFuckDown · 15/10/2018 06:52

@queribus I have a 90 min round trip for a 1 hour lecture today too. There’s a second one at 5-6 but I can’t attend that.

My maths is also woeful and screening tests have revealed Dyscalculia Shock HOWEVER a friends DS also has it and he’s just started his Physics Masters so that gives me hope it can be managed well. I watched my lab partner pick all the information out of the practical handbook to create and equation for serial dilutions and it blew my mind. I’d already done them last year so knew what I was doing, but it took me HOURS last year to figure it out.

I’m trying to remind myself I’m there to learn not to make friends, but when lab partners are essential it’s bloody hard. I’d much rather work alone. Between the Dyspraxia and ADD it takes me much longer and I’m happy to put the extra time in to get it right, but having a partner means I constantly feel rushed and flustered.

My advice is give it a full semester. When I started college last year, I spent the first half term in tears weekly, I really struggled with the content and the maths. But by Christmas it all (mostly) started to click into place. Also reach out to Uni staff. I’ve found mine incredibly helpful.

queribus · 15/10/2018 08:32

pipe thanks for indulging my 3am pity party. I'm meeting with my tutor tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. On to chemistry revision today for weekly test tomorrow Smile

PipeTheFuckDown · 15/10/2018 14:37

What Chemistry are you studying? Fundamental Inorganic and Organic here. More depth than my Access course which strangely makes it easier to understand. I loaded up on text books from the library today.

Had to take middle child with me today. Her and the eldest were brawling last night Hmm and this morning she was limping and crying. Lecturer didn’t mind one bit and gave her a balloon at the end Grin

SeaGlassHunter · 15/10/2018 15:38

Can I join you in the hating maths corner? My statistics module is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I actually cried in the library over the weekend trying to understand it. It is so long since I did any statistics that I'm struggling to remember it. I have actually downloaded some free Open University content today to try to fill in the gaps, but I don't really have time to do that on top of everything else. Last week I did 28 hours in the office and 32 hours in uni (lectures and library). Never mind my 3 DC...

Still feel rough, no voice and swollen glands. That probably isn't helping the brain fug with statistics either.

Am dragging myself out tonight to Science Cafe with some other postgrads, but I really don't feel like it.

PipeTheFuckDown · 15/10/2018 19:45

@SeaGlassHunter I’m dreading the statistics part. Have to download some software called R and there’s a text book for it.

SeaGlassHunter · 15/10/2018 22:57

Yup, I'm learning to code with R now. I've got a 4hr(!!!!) exam on it in January so I really need to understand it. Currently it might as well be Swahili...

TheWiseWomansFear · 15/10/2018 23:33

You will get better grades than everyone and be at more of the lectures than anyone else. There are lots of mature students to make friends with and your lecturers will have more respect for you. Talk to people in seminars and ask them if they fancy a drink after, but not for the first week or so. If someone seems to be struggling ask if they'd fancy a coffee and to discuss some of the work after class.

TheWiseWomansFear · 15/10/2018 23:35

I was an 18yo starter and made good friends with a few students in their late 20s and 30s because they were very kind and helpful and they would do their part of the work when in group work unlike fellow youngsters.

Sadly made very close friends with a 30yo student in my last few months of my MA and then moved 500miles away. Didn't have enough time to cement the relationship but really appreciated her in those months.

TheWiseWomansFear · 15/10/2018 23:36

Just seen this was months ago... sorry 😂

PipeTheFuckDown · 16/10/2018 00:26

@thewisewomansfear OP was months ago but we’re still chatting!

I’m the only mature student on my course, out of 90. Not much opportunity for socialising. The mature student group all meet up during evenings which I cant do.

Blackspaniel1 · 31/10/2018 06:19

Hi all,

Haven't been back to the thread in a while and just caught up on everyone's experiences. I so understand those of you having wobbles about ability, commutes etc etc. It is so difficult just getting to uni, then as soon as something throws you, it is hard to keep positive.

I have had a bumpy few weeks to the start of my course, but feel after 5 weeks, I am finally getting some kind of routine.

I was in a car accident at the end of my first week which resulted in my car being written off and me having a fractured nose (not my fault thankfully). On the day of the accident I found out my placement hospital trust (for the full 3 years) is not the nearest to me, so my commute is much longer than it needed to be, for 50% of my course, and at a hospital I won't be able to get a job at afterwards due to distance. There is also no actual good reason they have put me there, and other students who live much closer have got the hospital I wanted. Anyway, I could write for days on the unfairness of it, had many tears, begged people to reconsider, but no.

I did actually start looking for a job after all this happened as couldn't see me getting through. Things have calmed down for me a lot since then, and I have decided to stick it out for now, go on my placement (which is only just over a week away!!!) and not look too far ahead just now.

On the positive side, my course mates are brilliant, I am in a small group, with ages from early 20s to 40s and only feel old every now and again.

queri how are you feeling about things now? Are you going to keep going?

Lovely to keep track of how you are all doing.

RolandDeschainsGilly · 12/11/2018 05:50

It’s Pipe here, have name changed.

Erm. It’s mental. I have online exams every week related to the practicals I’m doing (they’ve replaced lab reports - boooo because I’m boss at those and shit at exams!) Only had results back for one of them (have done five so far) 13/20. Pretty chuffed with that.

My childcare grant still hasn’t been paid, nor has my parents learning allowance or maintenance grant - I’m on the bones of my arse now and SF reckon 43 processing days. Uni Finance have advised me to set up a consent to share so they can call them on my behalf so that’s this mornings job before my lecture at 11am.

It’s kinda ruining the experience for me as I’m fretting about losing my childcare due to non payment and constantly worrying about money.

I’m pretty exhausted most of the time but also exhilarated.

@blackspaniel that’s utterly shite. Is your Uni Athena Swan accredited?

RolandDeschainsGilly · 11/02/2019 12:13

Oh no. This thread is dead.

How’s everyone doing?

00100001 · 23/02/2019 22:02

Ooh, can I join in (6 months late....)

Started in September as a degree apprentice :)

I'm the oldest. The others are 18-21. They're all so little

WillardJStevens · 10/03/2019 19:26

I’m doing a degree apprenticeship too for a MSc, also started in September.

I’ve done theee assignments so far, had results for two which were good. Nervous about this third one but should get result next week.

Just about to start fourth assignment the fourth one will mark 1/3 way through the course (2 modules down, 4 to go) ... then its ‘just’ the dissertation. What’s yours in binary? Mine is public leadership

WillardJStevens · 16/03/2019 22:03

Bump!

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