I'm writing this for parents, so they can warn their daughters about the very real risk of drink spiking before they head to university.
My DD had her drink spiked at a university bar in the first year after a university extracurricular activity. Later, she was raped by the self-same student who she had asked to hold her drink while she left for a few minutes.
This event has been traumatic, and I don't want anyone else to go through this. I have looked at what happened with my DD and tried to understand how it could have been prevented.
She gave her drink to someone she trusted while they were standing together with her friends in a group. The advice is to not leave your drink unattended however in this case the person she 'trusted' was the person that assaulted her.
Her group did not intervene to ensure her safety, not realising that she had had her drink spiked although she was behaving in a much more uncoordinated way to her normal self. It is likely, they assumed she had drunk more than normal. My DD herself was not aware of feeling odd or any other symptom. Her memory is non-existent from about 15 minutes after consuming that drink until the next morning. Therefore, it is so crucial that other people in the group can pick up on signs that a person has had their drink spiked. For example: some signs would be: Loss of balance and of coordination, slurred speech, unusual mannerisms and facial expressions etc. Unfortunately, the reality is, the group will have had a few drinks themselves and are not watching out. It is likely that the perpetrator will isolate the victim away from the social group, quite soon after the drink spiking to prevent them from noticing anything is amiss.
Whilst you might think drink spiking would be perpetrated by someone outside your friendship group this did not. You might assume that the perpetrator would feel that they had too much at stake within their community and with their future life ahead of them and this would deter them from taking this massive risk, but when you think of it, we already know most rapes are committed by people known to the victim so it is more likely that drink spiking would be done by someone known to the victim and their friends.
The student that did this knew many of my DD's friends, raises money for charity, appeared to have caring views about the structure of society, has a paid position of responsibility with a voluntary organisation, was very likeable and had the demeanour of someone completely trustworthy.
Your DDs will be in similar social situations and they will find it almost impossible to believe that someone they feel is trustworthy, would spike their drink.
My DD did not get warned about the risks of drink spiking in the Fresher's program of events that was offered at the start of the last academic year so this year I asked the university welfare officer what they would be imparting to 2018-2019 students in the batch of Fresher's week workshops they normally offer. I was disappointed to find out, they would not be covering it, but they are working on including it the year after. In any case, it is unlikely they would warn our DDs that they cannot trust people in their own social circle. It's hardly in the fun-loving spirit to the start of university life.
You may well be curious in knowing how the university itself has treated the perpetrator.
Well, despite there being a pending police investigation, the university has not excluded him from participating in the extracurricular activity which he excels at and so he continues to have free access to different groups and residential trips.
The university does not keep a record of allegations of drink spiking/rape, so a perpetrator could do this again and again and they would take no action unless they were charged by CPS. Unfortunately, this is not a likely situation; it was recently reported that the CPS only press charges in 5% of rape allegations. Bearing in mind, how few victims will even report this crime, the chance of achieving legal justice is very, very tiny.
I have since heard of 5 other recent drink spiking incidents/rapes on university campuses and am left wondering: just exactly how common is this? The universities don't keep track of this to warn students and hardly anyone reports it. I suppose these aren't statistics to be proud of. No-one wants to be first in that league table.
I have looked for resources about drink spiking that I think would be helpful to show your DDS:
Here are two examples of YouTube videos that show how easy it is to have your drink spiked.
Here is some further information about drink spiking:
www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/drink-spiking-and-date-rape-drugs/
www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/staying-safe-while-drinking/drink-spiking-and-date-rape-drugs/
The safest way to protect yourself is by having a lid on your drink, being vigilant and never leaving your drink unattended nor with anyone else to look after. You can buy anti spiking stoppers for bottles.
Young women must be especially vigilant to protect themselves and in particular from people they believe they can trust. They don't realise but they are at significant risk.
Look out for symptoms of drink spiking in your friends, on nights out, if you see them, intervene, get them to a place of safety and don't leave them alone.
Whilst, women are the main victims of drink spiking, men can also be targeted. So, it is worth warning your sons and asking them to be vigilant to it.