Uni open days question please!

[CiderwithBuda]

How much do parents get involved?

Obviously DS is deciding which unis he wants to see, course etc.

We are going to an open day at Newcastle on Friday. Do parents go along or do I just let him go himself? I’m flying up with him and obviously can go but don’t want him to look odd having his mum there. Or odd not having anyone with him!

This is all new for me!

I think Needmoresleep makes very good points.

DD1 found herself in the 'party flat' with flat mates who partied for the whole year (funnily enough the party animals failed the year). The library proved to be her saviour as she could happily spend as much time as she wanted there.

DD2 rejected Bristol as she was concerned about lack of academic support.

Ultimately the student needs to boil down the available options to two places (firm and insurance) where they will be happy to spend 3+ years. It's a big decision.

www.qub.ac.uk/about/Visit-Us/UndergraduateOpenDays/

QUB have new, additional student accommodation this year and offer an overnight stay, inclusive of breakfast, for prospective student and parent/s at £45pp.

There are ways of getting cheaper deliveries.

Often by spending over a certain amount, hence the clubbing together. Also, one doesn't have to shop online at the most expensive stores, given that most of the major supermarkets have a fairly wide radius for their deliveries. I can't remember the last time we had a supermarket delivery, but know that where we are, Tesco deliveries used to come from the huge store nine miles away, rather than from the merely extra large one three miles away . And Iceland - which has a good vegetarian section - has a delivery service for stuff you have bought in the shop, so you have the advantage of choosing stuff and not having to lug it home (at least they used to; our local one is only a mile away and I tend to walk, armed with a couple of insulated bags, and just buy what I can carry. Or we can carry, if I can drag anyone else out with me).

Queens is one we are visiting later in the year so might take a look at that.

MarchingFrogs, but food stealing is endemic. You can't lock fridges. Bread, milk and cereal cannot be expected to last morre than 12 hours. DD had a particular problem as she would make a packed lunch the night before her out-of-the way placement, only to discover, when getting up at 6.30am that hungry returning clubbers had scoffed it.

Size of flat matters. It is difficult to come to an agreement with others in large flats. As does management. At one point a friend of a flatmate was living in their flat as he had been expelled from his hall, and literally ate anything around: rice, pasta, whatever. They emailed the (soon to be made redundant as a cost saving measure) warden only to get an out-of-office reply.

Newcastle also has a reputation as a party University though people say it calms down mid-way into the first term. So really worth considering your lifestyle and choosing accomodation carefully.

I went to uni in my 30s so didn't take parents but recently I took a friend and her son when son was enrolling. I only took my friend after extracting a promise we would go to the campus and have coffee while student enrolled.

But a lot of parents were going to the actual enrollment which surprised me.

On the accommodation and transport, do check this if the uni has more than one campus or the accommodation is off campus.

Sometimes you are offered accommodation at a different campus to where your studies are based, or the social events are on the main campus and the bus stops running at 8pm.

It's not so much a problem if you are somewhere like Keele where everything is on one site more of a problem with UCLAN or Wolverhampton where there are campuses in different towns up to an hour away or Leicester where there is no on campus accommodation.

Another thing that isn't vital but worth asking if you are there is if there is a prepayment system. UCLAN had one when I was there (been to a few universities) you had a pre paid card that meant you didn't need cash for the canteen and you got a discount, I think it was 10%. You could top up the card yourself and so could a parent. You could only use it in university shops and food places and you could only buy alcohol with a meal so you could buy stationary, a newspaper, food, art supplies etc.

Keele have a similar card.

MarchingFrogs, but food stealing is endemic

I'm sure it is, to some extent, but I can safely say that since DS1 never even mentioned it as a problem when he was in university accommodation (and he certainly mentioned a few other issues with flatmates - and their friends - which were), then either your DD was spectacularly unlucky, or he was uniquely fortunate in that respect. It would be an argument against any form of self catering, though, surely, not sharing an Asda shop and delivery with ones flatmates should one have chosen that type of accommodation regardless?

Marching, the point is that you are expected to share with 11 strangers. Or more to the point, eleven potentially unhouse-trained strangers. Ten may be fine, but the 11th may have blown their loan in freshers week and simply not care. They are used to raiding a stocked fridge at home and assume the fridge fairy continues to stock it at Uni.

FWIW I was chatting to a friend earlier in the week who used to manage University accomodation for Unite. She thought 12 was far too many in a flat and was shocked at the idea that there would be no on-duty manager. She was also surprised that there were no security patrols. In her view, based on experience, 18 year olds are not fully-functioning adults, and need some supervision/protection.

People choose self-catering for all sorts of reasons. Two in DDs flat had special dietary requirements, whilst DD had a heavy course and sports schedule. Others need to save money.

More generally it is worth thinking about logistics. DS liked working in the library and more of his social life was campus based, so loved being in a nearby hall, and then renting, albeit a tiny room, in a nearby flat. Elsewhere halls or rented accomodation can be some distance away, so social life is often off campus. When looking round Warwick, the helpful student doing the tour explained that the library had lots of beanbags for students to sleep on if they missed the last bus back to Leamington Spa.

Lots of useful information thanks!

And thanks for the info re Queens as it’s another on his list. As is Glasgow if anyone has any knowledge. Nothing in the south west as he is desperate to escape it!

Which subject is he considering at QUB?

History butterflymum.

DD had a particular problem as she would make a packed lunch the night before her out-of-the way placement, only to discover, when getting up at 6.30am that hungry returning clubbers had scoffed it.

Oh that's awful, I'd be furious.

Just asked dd2 as she is here - she was in a flat of 8 (which is more civilised than 12!), and then lived with 4 of them again this year (and will hopefully live with at least two of them after her year abroad). She said it wasn't so much stealing as "involuntary sharing" but that it was always one person borrowing everyone else's and so he would replace things as and when. She's also vegan which probably helped! He's also one of the ones she'll live with again. It makes a massive difference if you feel like you're sharing with someone you like, as opposed to being stolen from by someone you don't like!

Newcastle also has a reputation as a party University though people say it calms down mid-way into the first term.

I think that early may be optimistic - maybe after the first year. And I wish I could dispel the stereotype of Geordies in t-shirts, but unfortunately I have far too many photos of dd2 in skimpy tops! She does have a good coat too - clearly it's colder in the day time, or possibly the "3 for £5" trebles protect against the cold .... However, she got a first in her first year exams, and has just got her second year results, firsts again in all modules (yes I am bragging lol). It is definitely a place where there's loads to do, but that's not going to stop you from working if you want to.

Re cost of transport, some universities operate free shuttle buses between the halls of residence and campus and at least one we've visited offered free gym membership for first year students. Obviously not as important as course and teaching quality, but worth taking into account if dcs are finding it hard to narrow their choices.

Anyway, here's the worst open day question I've heard so far - at the end of an accommodation talk, first question in the q&a - "do all the bedrooms have lockable doors?"

My DD is hopefully going to uni in September. We have applied for accommodation but there is no guarantee of getting any particular Hall. A bit of a lottery. So now I am panicking after reading this thread that I haven't thought enough about the halls she applied for but I honestly felt that she could end up in any of them. I just let her pick the ones she liked the look of. Feel I might have made a mistake.

Northampton were offering a free laptop or reduced acvomodation costs this year.

Depending on your DS's expected grades OP (and I will assume all As), the University of Sussex might be worth considering? Friend's son is doing history there and got a 3K bursary as they are keen to encourage the high fliers (he got all As).

And it's far enough from the SW I think?

AtiaoftheJulii seems a reasonable question to me. If the asker didn't have university accommodation experience the answer isn't necessarily obvious. As a PP said, they are sharing space with 8/9/10 or more total strangers. Most will be totally fine and some may go on to be friends. Apart from the personal safety aspect there is privacy (not everyone is good at knocking before entering). There will also be the odd light fingered individual who struggles with 'thine and mine'.

Really? Seems completely obvious to me! Would be an insurance nightmare, not to mention personal safety shitstorm, if you couldn't lock your bedroom door!

Apologies if I've upset anyone who thought it might have made sense that students not be able to lock their bedroom doors, but surely if you put any thought into it it's clearly insane.

would shopping facilities really be a factor in choosing a uni?

captain no, shopping facilities absolutely shouldn't be a factor in the choice. I'm guilty of derailing slightly with my comments about it but I'm just chucking in things to think about and it was response to someone who said it was a waste of time visiting accommodation - it's absolutely not.

Atia you're being harsh and rude. These students are 16/17 and a lot will never have stayed away from home before. They're scared and ignorant. There's no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid answers.

Regarding accommodation, one important thing to look at is whether they guarantee a place for all first years or only those who firm them. It could be something to take into consideration when choosing which uni to insure.

AtiaoftheJulii for students where this is the first person in the family to go to university this sort of thing isnt necessarily obvious. If they have only ever lived in a family home where bedroom doors arent normally locked then there may be a worry that a uni flat is similar. It may just have been a confirmation type question rather than a fact finding question IYSWIM.

captainoftheshipwreck where there are many similar courses then 'other' factors (public transport, shopping, average jagerbomb price) maybe useful sifters for making the decision.

Some students are on a very tight budget. Poor availability of shopping may be a factor which makes a difference between one institution and another.

Oh, this was a parent, not a student!

(On brief judgement of appearance, naice middle class family, two parents with offspring.)