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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Did any of you share a room at university?

119 replies

LivBonas · 31/03/2018 12:08

I wondered if any of you shared a room at university. It is one of the accommodation options at the University of York that my DD was considering. Any experiences, positive or negative, please let me know! 😊

OP posts:

chipsandcurrysaucemonster · 31/03/2018 12:14

I shared a room at uni - in the course of one year had three different room mates, one was awful, one I was quite indifferent towards and we lived quite harmoniously and then finally I chose a friend to share for the last few months and we absolutely loved sharing a room. Ultimately I wouldn't recommend it - I liked having my own privacy, couldn't maintain a relationship, studying when they weren't was tough, the inevitable uni flu bugs weren't nice when the other person was entertaining friends etc. On the whole it's just too risky (for a bit more context I'm very social and definitely an extrovert and I still struggled a bit) hope this helps!

redcollargirl · 31/03/2018 12:19

I am still good friends with my first uni room mate from 30+ years ago, but I think that was down to luck. I didn’t encourage either DC (one just graduated from York)to even consider room sharing as an option for all the reasons mentioned above.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 31/03/2018 12:23

Yes - I loved in shared houses all through Uni and then most of my 20s. It was fun! You meet people from different courses and widen your social circle.

MrsWobble3 · 31/03/2018 12:24

My 3 dds have all shared a room in their first year at uni - only one chose to. #1's experience was ok, #2 went on to share a house with her room mate for years 2 and 3 and #3 (who chose to share) has become good friends with her room mate. I don't know how much thought the uni puts into room allocation but for #2 and 3 the match was very good. None of them at York though so hopefully someone with experience from there will post.

Fml2015 · 31/03/2018 12:26

I would no way share a bedroom at uni. Sharing a flat or house with strangers is hard enough. Everyone has very different standards of living.
What if someone has a boyfriend 🤔

drspouse · 31/03/2018 12:29

Yes, in my final term in first year. A friend and I had the chance of a better, but shared, room. But I already knew her!

Original poster

LivBonas · 31/03/2018 12:29

Yes, personally I would hate sharing a room as there would be no privacy and ultimately you could be very different people. I'm trying to dissuade my daughter but her cousin shared a room at a different uni and thought it was great.

OP posts:

FleurDelacoeur · 31/03/2018 12:30

I did in my first year and it was awful. We were both on similar courses but just didn't get on at all.

Original poster

LivBonas · 31/03/2018 12:31

Oh dear Fleur, that's exactly what I'm worried might happen to my DD. Were you just very different people and that's why you didn't get on?

OP posts:

xyzandabc · 31/03/2018 12:33

What'sgoingon, sharing a house is quite different from sharing a room.

I shared a room in my 1st year. We were like chalk and cheese, polite enough to each other but were never going to be best mates. It helped that I was never there at weekends, I was either away with a club left London 6pm Friday, arrived back late Sunday or early hours on Monday morning,. Or if I wasn't away, I went home.

I also had pretty much a 9-5 timetable. So we were hardly ever in the room together expect weekday evenings.

My friends shared a room in the 1st yr, then a house in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th years and even though they are very different people, they are still friends now 25 years later.

DragonsAndCakes · 31/03/2018 12:33

I would have not gone rather than share a room, but it’s a very personal choice. I think you need to leave it up to her to decide.
I’m pretty shocked that it’s even an option tbh.
I see the twin rooms are 80% of the cost of single ones. I wonder if they’re in demand because of this or undesirable because they’re shared. Just musing!

FleurDelacoeur · 31/03/2018 12:37

On paper we were a good match - similar ages, from the same city, similar courses.

Problem was that she was very much a party animal, late nights, crashing around the room drunk at 2am. I was really homesick and not into socialising to the same extent - happy to go to the pub for a couple or have cups of tea in other people's rooms but not clubbing every night. It caused a LOT of tension because I was being woken regualrly and was really grumpy, she thought I was a boring, miserable cow.

Having said all that, there are other people I know who all still friends with their Uni roommates, my sister shared too and is still very close to hers.

WatercolourFlower · 31/03/2018 12:37

I'm sharing a room currently as a first year student. I'm actually studying at the university of York as well. Please, please, please dissuade her from sharing. It's made me miserable and it's really made me view uni in a negative light. I've hated it, we are such different people and I don't see why we were put together.

zen1 · 31/03/2018 12:37

I was allocated a shared room in my first year. I shared for 3 days before requesting to move. Fortunately I was given a single room after a couple of weeks. The girl I shared with was nice enough, but we were totally different and I like quiet and she enjoyed playing loud music. I think what pushed me over the edge was when her boyfriend stayed over and I had to try and sleep with my Walkman on. I felt on-edge all the time.

windchimesabotage · 31/03/2018 12:40

I did not but my boyfriend (in a different city) did. He and his room mate got on quite well and had a system for when they wanted privacy. It was also a very big room.

However my other male friend who was at uni in London had a terrible experience. He and his room mate took against each other so badly that the room mate actually built a wall of furniture down the middle of the room so they didnt have to look at each other. I found it incredibly funny but I think my friend found it very stressful and moved into a shared house asap, despite the crazy costs in London.

York is a campus uni so it also depends how she feels about that? Its quite a walk from the city centre so living in a shared rental in between the city centre and the uni might be better for her if she actually wants to live her life in York the city. And York is a beautiful city so I would personally go for that. (Im assuming the shared room is actually on campus?)

WatercolourFlower · 31/03/2018 12:40

@FleurDelacoeur sounds like we have the same roommate! I've even heard her discussing me being "boring" in our room, while she thought I was asleep and had brought a friend in when she was drunk. I've only got ten more weeks of sharing though, and I never have to see my room mate again (I'm trying to stay positive for the final term despite hating it so much!)

Gnome134 · 31/03/2018 12:41

I shared a room in the early 90's at Loughborough. Didn't get a choice, and as an only child used to my own room was apprehensive. Turns out it worked out well. We got on well, it was an instant friend. We ended up choosing to share again in the Final year.
I think it helped we were both on courses with a lot of contact hours so were up early together and out at lectures a lot. Also we put info about our interests on the application and I think this was taken into account.
In the final year my room mate did spend most weekends away visiting her boyfriend which gave me space.

windchimesabotage · 31/03/2018 12:42

*i mean living in a shared house private rental, in between the city centre and the uni campus

ErrolTheDragon · 31/03/2018 12:43

I shared a room in my first term; after initial introductions we barely talked and ignored each other. We were both fairly quiet and studious so it didn't seem like a huge problem to me, just a bit odd. She requested a room transfer so I got a double room to myself. (I belatedly realised she was probably scared off me by the Jesus Saves stickers on my guitar... I had a misspent youth!)

In the second year renting a house with friends, one room was a double and I was one of the two who minded this least. We got on fine.

Original poster

LivBonas · 31/03/2018 12:45

Yes the room is on campus in one of the colleges. i will tell my DD about these experiences, some sound awful. Wishing you luck Watercolour for getting through those final ten weeks.

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Maybeilikethemisery · 31/03/2018 12:45

I did and I liked it a lot. Neither of us was a great party animal but we were both out of the room a fair bit doing stuff so that helped, and she'd been to boarding school so was used to sharing and was quite tolerant. She was a lot more outgoing than me so I made a lot of friends through her and I think without that I would have struggled socially and been pretty lonely.

pimlicolife · 31/03/2018 12:50

I didn't but a friend did. It was grim as the other girl used to have her boyfriend stay over

SellFridges · 31/03/2018 12:51

I did. About 20 years ago now though. We were on the same course and reasonably similar although she barely tolerated my Robbie Williams obsession.

I was her bridesmaid and she was mine. We’re still good friends, along with a group of others mainly from the house our room was in (all shared rooms).

That said, we were both glad to get our own space when we moved to a house the following year.

newtlover · 31/03/2018 12:56

I'm amazed so many people have done this!
DD1 had a year at an american university and apparently it's almost mandatory there, I think she found it quite hard. I would hate it, you really do need a private space IMO

onemouseplace · 31/03/2018 13:01

A few friends did and I don't think any of them particularly enjoyed it - they ended up being out of their rooms a lot/ trying to get away at weekends. The shared rooms were much bigger and in a nicer hall, but I think they all found it very hard not having somewhere to retreat of their own as university, especially in the first year, can be pretty full on.

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