Am I being ridiculous to think I can do it?

[MonaTheMoaner]

Mature Law student here studying full time at university. Year one.

DC’s are of school age (9 and 7) and I’m due DC3 in September. The issue is the university childcare won’t take DC3 until they’re three months old and everyone expects me to take a year out.

If I’m honest, I can’t afford to take a year out both financially and educationally. I require the loans to pay our rent and we couldn’t survive on DH’s income as a recent graduate and Universal Credit wouldn’t pay enough really. Educationally, I’d really struggle taking a year out and going back. I feel I’d lose motivation and get out of the habit.

Am I being completely ridiculous to think I could do most of year two from home via online resources (like I do now for the most part) until I can get DC into the nursery the two days a week I’m in lectures? Am I crazy for even thinking of juggling a degree and a newborn or can it work with self discipline?

Bump.

Hi. No experience but is there anyone who can help with childcare in the interim? Have you spoken to your tutors? The other thing is won’t you be absolutely knackered?

I think it is going to depend on the baby you get. My DD was a "difficult" baby and there is no way I would've coped. That doesn't mean you won't. I am sure there are people who have done it. What happens if you try and can't manage? Can you defer or re-take parts if is too much? What support do you have from friends/family/OH?

Another thought: can you use a childminder?

I think it depends on your husband and other DCs, how you are after giving birth and how settled/sleepy your new baby is tbh. A different subject area, but we had a student who had her baby and was back to sit an exam 4 days later, scoring over 80%. Another week off until the end of the exam period and she was back, graduated with a first. OTOH it’s more usual to see student parents (male as well as female) still struggling after coming back having had a year off- too many demands, tiredness and the need for part time jobs on top are a killer for studying. I would suggest you find out what would happen in terms of student finance if you did go back and then find you have to suspend for a while before you make a decision, just in case. Maybe also talk to the current second and third years and see what they think about the workload as well. Hope it all goes well whatever you decide.

DH is fully supportive and would take over the baby’s needs as much as possible when home from work in the evenings but I’d be responsible during the day and nights. DSis would be able to help with childcare if I needed it for an important lecture maybe once a week but would not be a reliable daily support as she has DC’s and a part time job.

Financially it would mean I would need to claim benefits in the year I’m off. I could defer the year if it got too difficult but if I were to defer after receiving the first loan, I would be one three month loan down at the end of my degree, if you see what I mean?

I’ve spoken to my lecturers who have said it’s doable but difficult. Law is difficult as it is for me and many other students but obviously finding the time to watch lectures online, make notes and do assignments would be more demanding around the needs of a newborn.

The thing is, I really don’t want to take a year out and lose out. If I don’t take a year out I’ll be finished by the time DC goes to nursery and I hope to find a more decently paid job in HR or a legal firm either part time or full time depending on childcare and circumstances.

Has anyone done this before?

You do get a "spare" year with student finance, so if you started a year but failed it or had to defer part way through, you could still get funding. The official amount of funding is length of course + 1 year to allow for things like this.

Does no part of your degree have mandatory attendance? I did a science subject, so we were required to attend labs, and wouldn't be allowed to pass without this.

If you can do your work from home (and get good grades), then there's no reason you shouldn't. However, by not attending lectures, tutorials, seminars, etc, you're arguably missing out on most of what you're paying for.

However, if this is what you need to do financially to keep your head above water, then you have to give it a go. I would say by the end of the year if it looks like you're barely going to scrape a pass, it might be better to deliberately fail the year and retake it entirely, rather than have a low grade affect your final degree classification.

it might be better to deliberately fail the year and retake it entirely, rather than have a low grade affect your final degree classification. Do check the specific regulations for your institution, but usually if you fail a year the grade for all the modules you resit is capped at the module pass mark when your degree classification is calculated to ensure that those who pass first time aren’t at a disadvantage compared with those who fail the first time.

As of January the baby would be in the university’s childcare the days I’m in lectures so I’m only missing out on two months of lectures. Obviously if there’s an emergency I’d need more time off.

No module has mandatory attendance but there are seminars and tutorials we must attend. If so, they’re sent in a few weeks in advance via email so we all know where we are.

How about asking for a concession so you only take half of your modules?or ask if you can take some of them in the resit period as a first sit so you can spread the workload over 12 months rather than the usual 8?

Thank you for all your suggestions. I have an appointment with my course leader next week to discuss options so I’ll update with what’s been said!