Uni and halls...

[studentdilemma]

Hi all, need some advice with my daughter.

Last year she was diagnosed with bulimia and went through a very dangerous patch. In the end, although she's much better now,
I've had to put my foot down and tell her she's not allowed to move out to halls. This is on the advice of her doctor. It's too soon. Just six months ago she was dreadfully ill, I can't have her living away when she could relapse so easily. Next year yes, but not now.

DD is miserable. She will be driving 30 mins too and from uni a day. But she says she's going to miss out, be miserable, not make friends... I don't know what to do.

Option A- let her move out, against doctors advice, risk possible relapse, undo all her good work... and she wouldn't tell me if she relapsed either

B- she defers a year (but waits around for a year, possibly bored)

C- does the first year at home, then moves out second year into the student accommodation with the first years.

She wants to do A, I prefer C.

I'm aware she's an adult but she's only just 'better' and too much change could set her off again. Uni might not even accept her into accommodation right now as she's a complete liability..

Thanks OP! I have been telling her that when her results come though this summer, she can have another think and 'regroup' if that feels right. She admits herself she is kind of 'going along with the crowd' because she's in the school 'conveyor belt' to an extent. Like your DD, she definitely wants to go to uni, but even without other major issues to deal with, feels a bit overwhelmed . But that's our stuff and this is your thread....so best of luck and that really sounds like a good call.

I did a year out, regular 9-5 job related to my subject - which I enjoyed, but mainly it was about growing up and learning to look after myself a bit with no study pressure, having fun, and putting some money aside as a nice bonus.