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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Son wants to leave uni after first year

16 replies

AvaloniaFunk · 13/07/2017 10:58

I wonder if anyone has any words of wisdom because I'm a bit stumped as to how to help my son to deal with this.
My 20 year old son came home from his first year of uni a couple of weeks ago and told us he doesn't want to go back. He has made good friends and enjoys living there but he is not enjoying his course at all and has realised it is not what he wants to do.
His course is Visual effects for film and TV, and whereas he enjoyed being in front of screens during his teen years he now realises that there is more to life than being constantly in front of a computer. He enjoys design and creating work in 3d, enjoys uni life but is not certain that doing a degree is right or wrong for him. He struggled during his teens and it took such a lot of perseverance in all sorts of ways for him to get onto what he thought was the course of his dreams. It's such a shame. However, better to speak up now than later I guess? Shared house accommodation has already been organised and 1k paid up front for next term. We are not a well offt family and I am working extra shifts to get him through. He really doesn't know what to do and I don't know how to help him.

OP posts:

stonecircle · 13/07/2017 11:03

What a worry for you. Could he talk to someone at uni. If he explains how he feels they might have some advice or allow him to move to a different course. Did he do end of year exams - if so is he worried about how he did / did he do badly? That could be colouring his view.

Makes my blood boil that 18 year olds are expected to shoulder all this debt/expense when most of them don't really know what they're letting themselves in for.

juneau · 13/07/2017 11:04

Well it's not that uncommon for this to happen. So many uni courses are things that the student has not studied directly before they start that many a mistake is made. Is there another course he'd rather be doing? Could he transfer to that, or is it that he wants to drop out altogether? And, if so, what would he do instead? Since you've paid for his accommodation up front could he get a job in his university town so that money isn't wasted, or are opportunities better where you live? The onus is really on him to tell you what he plans to do instead - and doing nothing is not an option!

TeenAndTween · 13/07/2017 11:05

I think he needs to take the time between now and going back to work out what he does want to do (not just what he doesn't want to do).

Can he transfer to a different course?
Is there an higher level apprenticeship he could do instead?
Can he find a job?

I kind of feel just dropping out without a plan wouldn't be a great idea.
Does the university have a careers advice centre?

(My eldest is about to start an apprenticeship. DH and I have discussed between us, that if she decides its not for her she shouldn't quit without having something else lined up).

thesleepingdogsarelying · 13/07/2017 11:15

Would he consider transferring to another course?

If he is definitely leaving, you need to sort out the accommodation particularly if you are a guarantor. Contact the accommodation office and see if they have any one looking for a room - lots of Masters students often don't know anyone at their new uni so look for house shares.

Bobbybobbins · 13/07/2017 12:20

Totally agree that transferring to a different course is a good possible option and the university would be able to help facilitate it - we had quite a few in my halls who did this. If there is any link between the courses (eg design course use of CAD which he might have already done on current course) they may even be able to transfer some credits? My friend just did this - transferred credits from an incomplete midwifery degree onto a new biomedical sciences course. Good luck to you all

Autumnsky · 13/07/2017 12:22

Can he apply a gap year, ask university to keep him on the register, and go back after a year? I think the most important thing for him is to find what he want to do. However, he has to bear this in mind, sometimes you have to do some boring thing to make a living. Without a degree, it would be harder to find a good job.
Does he do any part time work? I mean does he know how hard it is to earn money?

SleepFreeZone · 13/07/2017 12:24

I thought about transferring to another course too. How long is the current course he is on?

WeyHay · 14/07/2017 10:17

Whatever else he does, he needs to talk to his tutors in his current course. A good long discussion about what he now thinks he wants to study. A transfer into 2nd year to another university may be difficult, but there may be options at his current university to move into a more mixed or combined Hons degree.

Original poster

AvaloniaFunk · 14/07/2017 10:59

Thank you all for your advice.
Stone circle- he hasn't had exams, just coursework, do that's not an issue.
Sleeping dog- I'll look into that regarding the accommodation as I am the guarantor.
Autumnsky- he does have a restaurant/ pub job so I guess he does have an understanding of earning money and working on a very low wage.
Sleepfree- his course is the usual 3 years in total.

And yes, doing nothing is not an option.

Any more advice from those that understand how unis tick and what options could be are very welcome.

OP posts:

WeyHay · 14/07/2017 12:32

The other thing to be aware of is that often university courses can be quite prescriptive in the 1st year, and then open out options for students in later years. So he should have a good objective look at what his Department offer him next year. He should also look at intern/work placement opportunities they offer.

It may get better in the 2nd year, is what I'm suggesting. But a chat with a trusted lecturer or adviser in his current department is needed first of all.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/07/2017 12:39

Hi Op, my ds1(now 21) left uni after the first year. Well a foundation year, then the first year actually. He hated the uni he was at.

He came home last summer, has spent some time trying to get a job on a career path but that hasn't come to anything.

So he's decided, and been accepted, into a different uni to complete his course. So new to the uni but into the second year. He's been working full time in a supermarket near home for about 8 months, is about to stop to go travelling, and start at the new uni in October.

So I would say don't panic. Maybe he could take a year to focus his mind before committing to anything. It may become clear to him over time if he has a bit of space to clear his head.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 15/07/2017 06:37

I think, given that it's not awful, and given that he doesn't have another plan, he should go back.

He is 1/3 through a degree which will open doors for him, not just in that field but in others.

Alternatively he could look to transfer to another course or even to another university. It's fairly straightforward if there are spaces.

Sometimes you have to live with your decisions and see them through. It's a good life lesson.

BigGreenOlives · 15/07/2017 06:51

Has he spoken to anyone about transferring on to another course? I know of students who have left their original degree and started a different course. Are his qualifications BTEC/A Levels/IB grades good enough for him to move onto a course that would help in the business. Did he do a foundation course at an art school when he left school to build up his portfolio to get onto this course?

senua · 15/07/2017 11:23

I may be out of date on this, but I thought that students can only get tuition fee loans for four years. This means that he could drop out of this course and, in the fullness of time and if it's right for him, start afresh on a new three-year degree.
So if he carries on to the second year of this degree then he has, to a certain extent, burnt bridges. Don't bounce him into making rash, expensive decisions based on "doing nothing is not an option". He needs to think carefully. If that takes time then so be it.

elfonshelf · 16/07/2017 17:00

I dropped out of my first university course (Archaeology) after 2 terms and it was the right decision.

This was back in 1990 and I think my parents would have been happier if I'd announced I was pregnant and a drug addict at the time... I will NEVER forget THAT phonecall!

I took a couple of years out and got some work experience and then went back to study something completely different.

I've met so many people since then who did the same and none of us regret it.

One of my sister's dropped out 2 weeks before her finals which was a huge, huge error and she has found it very hard to do the things she wants to do without that piece of paper despite 11 A* at GCSE and a very high IB score.

Don't panic, but I would encourage him to do something constructive in the meantime and to reapply for something different.

MikeUniformMike · 16/07/2017 17:12

If he isn't happy on the course, he will be less likely to do well. He needs to consider what else he could do. There is no point in staying on if he doesn't want to.

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