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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

A bit of mess. Advice needed please.

34 replies

IrianOfW · 29/03/2017 11:51

DD is 18 next month. She has always been hard-working at school. She got good GCSE results. She went to college to study A levels. AS levels were good. She is now approaching her A2 exams.

She got very stressed during GCSEs - to the extent of being unable to sleep and crying in the mornings about having to go into school. We tried herbal remedies and I taught her breathing techniques to help with stress. She got through it and as I said, did well.

Throughout the first year at college she got more and more low in mood - she had less energy and less motivation. She started to see a counsellor at college for CBT once a week who has been very supportive but she was still struggling, She went to see her GP who diagnosed with her depression and contacted CAHMS. I think we were luckier than some as we got a response quite quickly and today she is picking up her prescription.

Problem is that she is now only a month or so from her exams and for the last few months she has been unable to function normally let alone work. Obviously her A level results are not going to as good as she expected. She has made two big mistakes in her uni applications that could have screwed everything up which is simply not like her at all.

She has been told she won't be able to retake as A levels have changed and she would have to redo the entire two years and she won't get funding. I don't know whether us paying would be feasible - assuming we could afford it.

She has an interview on 28th April - hoping the medication will have kicked in by then and she will be a bit more switched on - then she just has to do her best with her exams... and hope for the best.

Does anyone have any advice please?

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thesandwich · 06/04/2017 10:44

Irian I am so glad the ad's are showing some effects and giving you a glimpse of your dd being able to be happy. Good news.
You have so much on. Vent away on here- sounds like you are doing an amazing job. 🌺

IrianOfW · 06/04/2017 13:35

Thank you x

I am doing my best but can't quite let go of the idea that if that was good enough there'd be no issues. However I know that's my insecurities talking so by and large and I just keep on keeping on Grin

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IrianOfW · 15/04/2017 20:56

She has decided to drop out. It's sad but TBH it's inevitable and for the best right now. She needs to be able to stop the madness right now and deal with the consequences later.

Fucking depression !!!

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thesandwich · 15/04/2017 21:03

Oh irian I'm sorry but it's no doubt the right thing for now. She is young- there are so many paths in life she can take. Time to breathe sounds like a plan. And look after yourself.FlowersWine

IrianOfW · 15/04/2017 21:07

Thanks sandwich.

It's her 18th birthday on Tuesday and she wants nothing to do with it. My dad, her only and very beloved grandpa is very ill and unlikely to recover - we are just waiting for the end tbh. Want to scream !!!

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thesandwich · 15/04/2017 21:12

I am so sorry about your dd and your dad. Your heart must be breaking. For now, be kind to yourself and take all the help you are offered. And rant awAy.

Rockandrollwithit · 15/04/2017 21:16

I have no real advice but your DD could have been me at her age. I had probably been suffering with depression / low mood for years but the stress of exams bought everything to a head. Like her I started taking anti-depressants, saw a counsellor and worried my poor Mum. I'm guessing she's also a perfectionist that can't handle mistakes or criticism?

I ended up taking a gap year and reapplying to unis closer to home as I wasn't strong enough to move away. I also applied to a uni that wasn't as high up in academic terms but smaller and supportive.

I'm now 31, and although I do suffer with periods of depression still, I am fine. I have a successful career and a happy family and I am 'sorted' in life. Although it feels so hard now, your DD will get through this. And like me, she will always remember the support of her mum Flowers

2014newme · 15/04/2017 21:18

She does not sound well enough currently to go to uni 💐

IrianOfW · 15/04/2017 21:19

Thank you rockandroll x

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