I know this will have been asked before but need advice about 'running costs' for DD at uni

[ladylouanne]

Hi

DD had her first choice offer confirmed this morning. Great news, but my thoughts are turning to practicalities.

She's applied for a room in self catered halls. I will buy her all her 'start up' stuff eg books, things for her room, laptop etc. What then feels reasonable in terms of a monthly living allowance? She won't be applying for a loan other than for fees so I will be funding this myself, which I'm happy with and has always been the plan.

Any advice from others would be great thanks.

After accommodation ( we pay this) with student loan, & top up from us of £200 pm.
DD gets around £400 a month to spend on food, transport, books & going out etc.

Goodness I can't believe how much some parents give per month. We paid rent ( not in halls ) and as veggie prepaid a veggie box every week and gave a little spending money to encourage DD to get a part time job. We paid for anything major like a trip to Barcelona ( part of course) and materials needed but otherwise nothing like £300 and she only left two years ago. Lots of her friends had less and she felt quite rich compared to most.
She learnt to budget and now is very savvy with her money. We are still helping her as her field means she is a low earner at the moment but breaking through and she has a part time job too.

coconutty - with regard to your (and other) comments along the lines of "it's mad not to take the loan" I actually think that if parents can afford to fund their kids it's irresponsible to take the loan. It's using govt funds you don't need and may never be paid back. We don't pay enough tax (at the highest end of the spectrum) IMVHO and using loans when they are not needed is just wasteful and unnecessary.

Coconutty - £200 to join the rugby club at ds's uni. That includes full uni kit, transport to games (at other universities so some distance involved), training several nights a week etc I'd be surprised if that was unusual.

Multi activity sports membership at DDs university. Not just gym!

I've been to university and done 2 degrees and one thing I would say is that they will give you a long reading list and make you feel you need to buy loads of books - you don't. Don't fall in to the trap and use the library a lot and then see what books you really really need after that.

I'm shocked at the volume of money being given. Uni is supposed to be the time you are super poor, happy and in great company doing so. It's an amazing learning curve of independence and resilience which sets them up for life - I remember from my time that no one is thrilled by the person who is massively financially supported by their parents and 'looked after' - they just didn't get what uni was all about at all.

Since when have uni students afforded gym membership?? Bonkers.

I was very happy at university. But I don't think that had anything to with being poor. Living in unheated, damp accommodation, sobbing down the phone to my sister because I didn't know how I was going to get home after the bank had frozen my account due to exceeding my overdraft limit - those things weren't instrumental in making me happy.

I went to a university which attracts a lot of wealthy people - I had poor friends and wealthy friends. We all rubbed along quite nicely, gently teasing one friend whose parents bought him a house on the best street in town and being sensitive towards those whose parents wouldn't or couldn't make their grant up to the full amount. DS is at a similar type of university. He is relatively poor by the standards of many of his fellow students - but fairly wealthy compared to me as a student. I don't believe it's obligatory to be a poor student and I don't believe it enhances the experience.

For a lot of students who are very serious about a sport, access to a gym is very important. Being a student doesn't have to involve experiencing poverty. If you come from a poor family that's one thing, but I don't get the idea that someone from a well off family would make their offspring scrimp and save to experience being poor. It's completely artificial - being poor during term time but going back to a nice comfortable home during the holidays and knowing that mum and dad are able to bail you out if necessary is not what being poor is about.

I was very happy at university. But I don't think that had anything to with being poor. Living in unheated, damp accommodation, sobbing down the phone to my sister because I didn't know how I was going to get home after the bank had frozen my account due to exceeding my overdraft limit - those things weren't instrumental in making me happy.

I went to a university which attracts a lot of wealthy people - I had poor friends and wealthy friends. We all rubbed along quite nicely, gently teasing one friend whose parents bought him a house on the best street in town and being sensitive towards those whose parents wouldn't or couldn't make their grant up to the full amount. DS is at a similar type of university. He is relatively poor by the standards of many of his fellow students - but fairly wealthy compared to me as a student. I don't believe it's obligatory to be a poor student and I don't believe it enhances the experience.

For a lot of students who are very serious about a sport, access to a gym is very important. Being a student doesn't have to involve experiencing poverty. If you come from a poor family that's one thing, but I don't get the idea that someone from a well off family would make their offspring scrimp and save to experience being poor. It's completely artificial - being poor during term time but going back to a nice comfortable home during the holidays and knowing that mum and dad are able to bail you out if necessary is not what being poor is about.

stonecircle I completely agree - ineedacupoftea why would any parent want their child to experience hardship if that was unnecessary? It's definiteky not part and parcel of the student experience. I get that some students do exoerience financial constraints, but not because their parents choose to inflict them surely!

Why does university have to be a time when you are "super poor"? Whatever benefit can this possibly bring other than unhappiness as stonecircle describes? My DDs never met anyone whose parents were not helping out in a reasonable way and there did not appear to be huge groups of students laughing at the fact they did not "get" what university was about. They all have pretty good degrees and careers now, so what did they not "get"?

Why shouldn't students do sport? We want people to stay fit and healthy and be fulfilled. At times, that costs money. I really do not understand why parents cannot give money if they can afford to do it. My DH's parents refused to give him the money they were assessed to give many years ago. Did that made for a good relationship with his parents? No, it did not, especially when a new caravan and colour TV turned up at home whilst they still profressed they were too poor to pay their contribution to his living expenses. This is in the days when a colour TV cost about 1 month's wages!

Reading the comments about "what is was like in my day" and how much people seem to think they have gained from being poor, why are there so many people from wealthy backgrounds in the top jobs? Being poor at university has no relationship whatsoever in getting a top job and in many ways it is a hindrance and can limit horizons. Lots of universities have hardship funds to help the students who have financial difficulties but where this happens due to parents refusing to pay, it is a misuse of funds. Having been dirt poor, I really cannot remember it as a happy experience.

There's a big difference between learning to live in the real world and stand on your own two feet and hardship. I wouldn't see ds live in poverty but I wouldn't prop him up whilst he drank and studied his way through uni - it's a totally false way to live as an adult.

And you don't need to join a gym to do sports and exercise - there's a whole place called outdoors that's free!!!

Earlier in the thread I posted
DD has £25 for food & essential toiletries, Her rent is paid this is from a bursary she was awarded
she earns during the summer for spending money, 1st year it was £10, 2nd year £15 & this year she is hoping for £20 a week this is because when she went away to study our tax credits were cut & then I lost my job

If she didn't get the bursary she would not be at college (no loans available) - if she didn't save her summer money she would have to add a part-time job to her 42 contact hours a week

It's really hard to admit that this summer feeding her has been a problem

To have the money but to choose not to support your child is beyond my comprehension - a basic standard of living should be available to everyone studying

Ineedacupoftea - I'm not sure I follow. In one post you say that university is about being 'super poor'; in the next you say you wouldn't see your ds live in poverty.

Which is it? There's also a world of difference between hardship and drinking your way through uni.
I really don't get what's so great about being a poor student - especially when it's not necessary. One of my flatmates at uni - back in the 70s - was the daughter of 2 doctors. They refused to give her enough money to bring her up to the same level of a full maintenance grant ( which I and another flatmate were on). She never ate lunch - couldn't afford it. But maybe that made her a better person and taught her some valuable life lessons

OP has any of this been helpful to you? I think this thread has maybe just illustrated that it all depends on the individual, how much savings they have (if any), whether they have already been fairly independent in terms of buying their own clothes, toiletries, etc., whether the parents can even spare the money, whether they intend to have a part time job and lots of of other factors.

I think a good place to start is to work out what it costs you now. The only extra will be rent, transport, some books (but not necessarily all) and possibly fees to join clubs.

Hopefully that will give you something to work with.

Not applicable yet but for Christmas/birthdays what was really useful

Laundry machine took 20p and £1 so I got given loads of those!
Stocking full of toiletries (toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner etc), socks, knickers, pens
Dad went to Costco or somewhere - 1000 teabags, giant washing up liquid, washing powder, dishwasher tablets (easy to keep in room)
Local supermarket gift card

I worked through Uni and I went through a lot more than £200 a month - food is more expensive now too, taxi into town, drinks are more pricey, everything has gone up

DD is off to uni in September. She will get her finance payment in October but this is the minimum amount (around £3500). Borrowing more is NOT an option, the maximum amount you can borrow is decided by your parents income (even if they have a massive mortgage/debts/other children in uni etc.). I thought her halls were around £5000 pa but they aren't....they are just under £6000. She had to pay £250 within two days of her offer and another £2500 is due nearly three weeks BEFORE she gets any finance payment! She has no savings as her school strongly opposed students having part time jobs, fortunately we have paid off our mortgage and we DO have savings to get her through the first year. She is going to need £2000 extra per year just to cover her halls, then there are all the other expenses....I'll be honest...I'm worried about how we will afford future years, especially as she won't qualify for ANY maintenance loan after this year under current proposals....

"She won't qualify for any maintenance loan after this year".

Is that right? I thought it was grants that were being abolished?

Grants have already been abolished. DD was told that she gets the lowest amount this year but won't get anything at all from next year (based on family income).

The minimum maintenance loan has NOT been abolished from next year - where on earth are you getting that from? All students will be eligible for the minimum which is just under £4000. (assuming she doesn;t already have a degree of course.)

That's a relief - with hopefully 2 at uni next year!

stillrabbit my DC unis (two different ones) don't expect the rent until after the first loan payment provided they pay by direct debit. Worth checking the small print perhaps?
I'll have two at uni this year, very little allowance is made for that.
I am anticipating a huge reduction in my grocery bill though.....

StillRabbit The uni my DD is starting on 5th September asked for £100 to be paid within 7 days of her accepting the accommodation then £1800 before she moved in , she is still waiting on her Saas payment shedule so there is noway she had £1800 to handover. She has now applied for the accommodation to be paid monthly by direct debit to make it more manageable.

My dd is going to York, I will pay all her rent/fees etc as I had a huge student loan and didn't want that for her. I appreciate I'm in the fortunate position if being able to do this.
On top she will get £200 a month. Anymore and she will have to get a job. (She has one at the moment and has been saving)