Students with SEN at university

[voilets]

I would really like to here from mumsnetters who have or have had DC at uni with SEN and who had difficulties but found ways of overcoming them. My DS has struggled with concentration in some lectures and is finding it really hard to make friends on the course. Hence, there is no one to ask about the work.
How did your DC overcome their issues?

University is not school. University tutors, lecturers, professors are not teachers. Students are adults. These are the structures around which university works.

So then reasonable adjustments are made within courses to help students with the academic work (deadlines, study skills etc). For social issues - yes, social connection contributes to learning. We know that. That's why universities fund & subsidise Student Unions or Student Guilds to facilitate & enrich students' time at university.

But it is not the job of academics to create the social experience for students. We have quite enough to do helping them, guiding them hectoring them to learn.

If your son is making friends at university, then I really wouldn't be fixating on him making friends within his course. Nor would I be pointing the finger at "the university" for him not doing this. That is unreasonable. It is reasonable that he can have access to support - counselling, for example - which could help him develop strategies for engaging socially. But it's not the job of a university department, nor its academic staff.

I agree, I would feel it was inappropriate to help a student make friends or help with social communication.

I think that's different from facilitating academic networking - but I wonder if that's what the OP actually means? To my mind, finding a network of people with whom to discuss the course, isn't just 'socialising'. I've run workshops for students that cover this (amongst other issues).

But I also think asking other students about the course - if it genuinely is 'about the course' and not 'about the subject' - is probably a poor second to asking the lecturers/supervisors. Some students are much more able than others to email (or to email in an appropriate way), and they do tend to do better. It's a skill that's really worth learning: how to write something polite and well-timed that'll clear up confusion.

What exactly is it that you want the lecturers/supervisors to do? If he can identify some specific requests and email to ask for them, that might help. Eg., I had a student who emailed to explain that she found it really helpful if each quotation on a handout was numbered and each line of text was numbered - really easy for me to do, and seemed to help her - and I also had one who found it really useful to have a very quick break in the middle of the hour's lecture. So, I made space for informal questions at the halfway point, so she and others who needed to stop and take a moment.

What I'm getting at is that there are lots of things that can be done quite easily, so long as the student can ask for them (ideally, in advance). What's harder to deal with is 'Dear Dr X, I struggle with concentration, so could you remind me what happened in Week 1' or 'Hi Dr X, I struggle with concentration, so would you give me your lecture notes?'

That said, I do think it might be good for him to consider setting up a reading group himself? Would that not be a good alternative?

DD doesn't have friends through university but she has met people through things like Meetup and various online/FB groups (including support groups for ASD, where her closest friends are from). She finds that there is a more diverse range of people outside university and they can be much more accepting of who she is.

Not sure where the flippancy is? We must be reading different threads - I'm reading good advice and suggestions for coping strategies from parents and academics.

In the first post, the OP listed "finding it really hard to make friends on the course" as one of the things she's worried about. The specific nature of the DS's SEN was not mentioned. So the OP herself raised the issue of her DS's social life.

While it's nice if students make friends that is not really something that can be the subject of reasonable adjustment!

There've been a lot of good suggestions; I haven't seen any dismissal of the OP's concerns.

But university really is not for everyone - especially not straight from school. Just because someone achieved high A Level grades doesn't mean they won't struggle in some way or other at university. If the OP's DS is not coping to the extent that he is ill, then that must be dealt with by the DS and his family doctor & other health professionals.

Agree that Uni is not for everyone, SEN or no SEN.

And uni students should be treated like the adults they are. Yes of course ensure equal access to learning, but everything else should be up to the student.

I think there's some confusion here. It's my DS, not Voilet's, who is not coping to the extent of becoming ill over it.

Thinking more about this: "reasonable adjustments" are made so as to, as far as is possible within proper academic progress, try to eliminate academic disadvantage stemming from a disability.

So if part of the SEN is difficulty with concentration, then there would be straightforward measures: permission to record lectures & seminars for personal use in revising, educational technology, a note-taker, extra time for assessments, and so on, depending on the ed. psych. evaluation of the extent & specific nature of the student's disability.

But I really don't think, under the requirements f the DDA, that a university or its various employees, can be responsible for a student's lack of self-esteem due to that student finding it difficult to make friends in a course.

It strikes me, OP that you may have to suggest to your DS that he changes his reasoning or thinking (this is the principle of CBT basically). From your very brief information, you seem to suggest that his work/learning is suffering because he hasn't made friends on his course. That is slightly odd logic, which maybe needs teasing out with him, and his feelings about it redirected. You say he has friends, socialises, and has a house for next year. So I'm still a bit at what exactly the problem is?

It really isn't the university's job under any kind of interpretation of the DDA to ensure he has friends specifically from his course. Note the word "reasonable." And it really should not be from friends that he gets information about his course - lots of good suggestions about approaching tutors. I think he and you both need to adjust expectations here, as this train of thinking isn't helping him.

It depends what the OP means though, you've read it one way...I read it slightly differently.

I assumed the the OP means because he hasn't made any friends from his course that means he has no-one outside of designated tutorials to discuss the course with.

Discussion of lectures or essay questions or particular points that have come up with your peers is fairly helpful and if he needs help starting that sort of relationship it should come under reasonable adjustments.

That's different from expecting the uni to get him a group of friends to fill in bits he's missed or explain things a tutor should be asked about.

thank you tabul.

I'm interested in all your posts. I don't really want to elaborate further as tone on internet can be misinterpreted by me receiving advice and to those who try to interpret how I respond.

I return to original request. Please continue to share how your DC overcame difficulties during their time at university.

Most appreciate many of the insights. [thanks)

Sorry that should say this is where DD3 has made most of her frienda