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Missing Freshers' Welcome party a problem? And drinking & freshers.
11

Bronwen11 · 17/09/2015 22:18

Taking DS to his uni on Saturday but today I noticed on the SU website that there'll be a big welcome party for freshers tomorrow night - where the emphasis will be on getting to know new hall mates. (Day to day freshers' events including the ball are next week.)

We could change arrangements and get him there in time.

On the one hand he doesn't want to arrive after most people have begun to settle (we didn't realize that most will, according to the SU site, have arrived by now) and, on the other, he's worried about the fact that he doesn't drink (quite simply, he doesn't like the taste) and thinks that could be a problem at big social events.

We've said that of course it needn't be - there'll be an alcohol free zone at events (according to the site) or he can simply nurse a print for the evening - or not. The focus will be on meeting people for the first time.

Anyway - couple of questions. Are your DCs/will your DCs be at freshers from the start? And how do you reassure them, if that's necessary, that trying to acquire a taste for alcohol isn't necessary for a good time? DS's older brother remembers lots of drinking in his first weeks and says it was part of the freshers' culture but I can't believe that if you don't want to drink, you're going to be seen as a bit odd. At least I very much hope not!

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Seriouslyffs · 17/09/2015 22:39

How depressing if it is! I don't know, tbh, there definitely are non drinking events as well as zones.

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fastdaytears · 17/09/2015 22:46

I really doubt that not drinking will be an issue. There will be loads of people who don't drink for loads of reasons. One of the big reliefs moving from school to university is being in a big enough environment to find people who are like you.

Missing the welcome party would be more of an issue I'd have thought as friendships are formed very fast and it's much easier when everyone's in the same boat, so I'd get him there asap if I were you.

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queenofthepirates · 17/09/2015 22:53

Freshers is such an important part of uni life, I would encourage him to go. He can sign up for all the clubs (he'll never go to but hey hoo) and meet new friends. It's his last chance to avoid real life for three years and it would be a shame if he didn't throw himself into the social life. Uni isn't just about studying, whether that's sober or otherwise.

Can you tell I loved uni!?

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Lilaclily · 17/09/2015 22:57

Hi,
I work at a university and most students will arrive on Saturday
There are activities planned all weekend
He won't miss anything by not going on Friday night
No one will notice he's not drinking
In my experience pub crawls / nights out don't start until a couple of weeks in when clubs have recruited members
And no one will care if he orders a lemonade

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Lilaclily · 17/09/2015 22:58

queen - freshers week is very important but it won't be just on Friday night !

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knickernicker · 17/09/2015 22:59

I missed my first night disco. It did make a difference as many friendships that continue till now, (over 25 years later) were made that night.

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fastdaytears · 18/09/2015 07:42

Lilac I don't agree. Ten years on and I am still friends with the people I met that first night. I don't think anyone turned up "late" at my uni but if they did then they'd have a harder job going into formed groups. You must remember how fast it all goes? One night is AGES in Freshers time!
The OP says that most people are already there.

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fastdaytears · 18/09/2015 07:43

And no one will care if he orders a lemonade but this I agree with 100%!

My freshers week was full of bar crawls and nights out but lots of people didn't drink or didn't drink much.

It might help to know the university if OP is happy to say? Someone must have gone there!

My experiences are based on Durham at a hill college in case that helps!

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Bronwen11 · 18/09/2015 08:35

Hi all - Thanks for such helpful comments.

Reassured by the freshers and drinking comments. Absolutely no point in DS forcing himself to drink if he's simply not used to the taste and doesn't, in any case, much like it! May like a drink or two down the line but it's not for him right now. He feels a bit awkward about this - but I'll reassure him that he absolutely won't be alone!

DS is making no plans to be at the welcome party tonight - which is a pity. We could just about make it. I'll try again to gently encourage him. He said he'll go to freshers' fair and do other things (on top of a very busy induction week) but I'll be sorry if he misses the welcome party, especially if friendship groups start forming then. I'd be happier if he was more confident - but have to remain optimistic!

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IamtheDevilsAvocado · 18/09/2015 10:31

I would really, really encourage him to go to the welcome party!

He can always leave early if he doesn't like it.

He will be immediately in the centre of things to meet new people, start forming friendships.

He wont then continually wonder if he missed out....

It really is only a few hours out of the rest of his life.

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PressTheAButton · 18/09/2015 23:36

I have 4 DC in Uni as from today Smile. Two of my DC don't drink and it's really not a problem. One goes clubbing and the other doesn't go anywhere with loud music or dancing - it's just not his thing. It hasn't made any difference to their ability to have fun and make friends. ( In fact tea total clubbing son is particularly popular now that he has a car Wink )

My DC were talking about freshers the other week and were telling DC 4 that it wasn't a big deal and that they made their good friends later. There are loads of ways to socialise without partying.

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