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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

My Ds has e-mailed me. Hooray

25 replies

elephantoverthehill · 15/09/2015 22:29

Dropped Ds of at Uni for his first year, on the weekend. I e-mailed him about some pretty mundane stuff yesterday and he replied tonight. Result! But of course it was only to ask me to put credit on his phone. How often do your offspring get in touch? I used to have to queue for the pay phone on a Sunday evening.

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EmmaWoodlouse · 16/09/2015 14:11

I used to write to my parents and they wrote to me!

DS1 is off to uni on Saturday, and I think the easiest way for him to communicate with us would be to Facebook message us in the evenings, but he hates the idea as he doesn't really like using FB much (although I'm hoping he will use it more at uni, since presumably all his coursemates will be doing it). DH thinks he should phone us on his mobile - but isn't it pretty expensive to phone a landline from a mobile? Either way, I really hope he soon gets to the point where he doesn't feel the need to contact us very often, because to me that sounds like a sign of not really having settled in very well.

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 16/09/2015 22:49

I totally agree about the sign of not really being settled in. However I was amazed about DS contacting me, until I realised it was to do with money. I was not expecting any communication until Reading Week! And only then if he decided to come home.

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BareGrylls · 17/09/2015 15:38

We were driving back up the M1 when we got the first call last year.....
To be fair though all of the phone calls have been of the "how do you do this" variety.
Otherwise he Skyped once or twice a week. Seeing him sitting in his room on Skype made the whole empty nest thing much more bearable for me.

SirChenjin · 17/09/2015 15:41

Mine texted me briefly 48 hours after we dropped him at his halls (but only after dh texted him to say "your mum's worried, could you text her to let her know you're OK"). He's texted again today to tell me about more partying...

Katymac · 17/09/2015 15:46

Whenever she wants something (recipe advice, washing advice, money, first aid advice, more tights!)

Chopchopbusybusy · 17/09/2015 15:47

DD and I rarely speak on the phone but we communicate by text, whatsapp and snapchat frequently - most days probably.

ChipsandGuac · 17/09/2015 15:48

DS1 has been at Uni since the middle of August. We have text conversations every few days and he's sent me quite a few photos. Every time I've tried to FaceTime him, the call gets rejected!

ChipsandGuac · 17/09/2015 15:50

The best thing so far though was that he texted me the other day and said a band we both like were playing half way between where he is at Uni and home and did I want to meet him there? I was doing a very happy dance that he had thought of me although it was probably so I would buy him his ticket

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 17/09/2015 17:00

Another e-mail last! this one was to give me his address so I can forward his post. No news mind you. It's probably best to be kept in the dark

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DontDrinkandFacebook · 17/09/2015 17:02

How often do your offspring get in touch?

I don't want to depress you so I won't tell you.

But my DS is not a good example.

Usually when there is a financial emergency he remembers we exist.

DontDrinkandFacebook · 17/09/2015 17:04

And those are always the phone calls where he manages to sound a tiny bit cheerful and asks after us and just generally behaves like he actually wants to talk to us.

Mitzi50 · 17/09/2015 17:09

DD went to uni last year and we FaceTime about once a week - occasionally I will get a text in between. She even remembers to ring her GPs occasionally. She is definitely not missing home and has only made short visits back over the summer as she got a job in her uni town.

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 17/09/2015 17:11

Don'tDrink That was the kind of pattern I was expecting. That is why I was so bloody amazed. Oh yes, but he did want something

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jorahmormont · 17/09/2015 17:28

I don't think I got in touch with my parents until the end of freshers week because I spent most of it wasted... they kept up with me through the various drunk pictures I'd been tagged in on Facebook I started uni in 2012.

We'd skype once a week maybe, although sometimes it was once every two weeks. The rest of the time, I'd mainly chat to them on Facebook. I'd call if I wanted a care package of biscuits and nice food sending up

TheFairyCaravan · 17/09/2015 17:35

DS1(20) joined the army last year, he comes home every weekend if he can but its only because he can get his washing done and have a decent meal. He never rings or texts me unless he needs something.

DS2 is going to uni on Sunday. He reckons he'll ring more often than DS1 does. Once he's worked out how to use the washing machine and cook everything, I can't see that happening tbh unless he wants some money!

BertieBotts · 17/09/2015 17:47

It's not expensive to phone a landline from a mobile. It comes out of minute allowances, that's all.

Isthiscorrect · 17/09/2015 18:18

We use messenger, sometimes for calls, but most because the three of us are in a group together, so I don't have to explain everything to dh. We usually message everyday, normally links to news, with comments like, omg did you see this? Or I will send info about stuff Ds won't have seen. He will tell me off the record political stuff ;-). Normally he messages when he's hanging around, like waiting for the kettle to boil. Just one or two lines, that's all. Just banter really. And I managed to communicate with him this morning, when I got up at 5.45 and he had just got in (3.30 am) and was cooking chicken Kiev, because he was hungry! (Different time zones). Lovely bit of banter.

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 17/09/2015 18:30

Isthiscorrect That sounds great. Now I have bought DS him some credit he may spend some texting me. I am not an overbearing Mum and am really happy to see him be independent. It is just through all the stress of A'levels and results, it was great to see him genuinely excited at the weekend. New beginnings and all that. I am excited too, I want some news, but I don't want to nag. Does it ever get any easier?

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Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 17/09/2015 18:36

Get any easier being a parent I mean.

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Isthiscorrect · 18/09/2015 12:15

Elephant, not really ;-).

Seriously does get easier to bear as you see them settle and flourish.

skippy67 · 26/09/2015 10:09

DS has been at uni for a week now. He's texted or whatsapped must days so far.

skippy67 · 26/09/2015 10:10

most

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 26/09/2015 10:25

Oooh you have a well trained son Skippy. Well done. With my DS I think the 'familal contact' lesson was not consildated. I am just repeating the line 'No news is good news'.

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2rebecca · 26/09/2015 11:58

My son rarely phones, like me he's not a great phone fan. We mainly communicate by facebook messages although I tend to send him long messages of what I've been up to and he sends me 2 or 3 words now and then in reply.
He's always been like this though. Last year (his first at uni) I used to phone him now and then when i saw he was online to have a brief chat as well and arranged to visit him to take him out to dinner now and then as well.
I'm resigned to him being far less interested in my life than i am in his.

Original poster

elephantoverthehill · 26/09/2015 16:07

Oh I have had a phone call today. I don't want to check up him I just want to know if everything is ok, and it is. I am green with envy about the software and programs he has now. But I am a sad techy person.

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