uni for oddball

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A friend's son is very clever but has Aspergers. His school is urging him to apply to Oxbridge. My friend is a single parent and nobody she knows has ever got to uni so she thinks he will not get in. He is quite obsessive, not good at talking to people and has no friends. Will he be at a disadvantage trying for Oxbridge even with all A* grades predicted?

"He is quite obsessive, not good at talking to people and has no friends."

To be frank, you probably just described a large proportion of the people I hung out with at Cambridge, with the exception that we all had each other as friends :)

Seriously, Cambridge at least is utterly stuffed with 'oddballs' - if your sensory issues mean you can only eat macaroni cheese and banana, or you obsessively research obscure religions (despite studying entirely different subject), or whatever, no one will give a toss.

Also more seriously, the college/ tutor / director of studies system is really supportive, there is always someone to take a personal interest in each individual student.

Mmm, I'm not sure calling someone who has aspergers an oddball is ok

I don't think it would be an issue at all in most Unis. It's not unusual for people to have aspergers. What year is he in? Is he going to go into year 13? He needs to visit some unis and see what he thinks.

The downside is limited (as long as expectations / hopes and stress are kept under control during the process) and there are 4 other spots on the UCAS form. From lurking on oxbridge threads, my impression is that cleverness and genuine interest in and passion for the subject is what they want. Your friend should be careful not to stop him from trying just because it is outside her own comfort zone. Focus on his strengths! Hopefully the school is right that he has a fair chance - and it could be life changing.

A quote from the yearbook of a guy in my year and college at Cambridge. "I was friends with X and Y and no one else really but that's still two more friends than I've ever had before."

Perhaps the interview process that the OP's friend is concerned about? My ds is painfully shy and I worry how he will come across. To the extent that he may only apply for courses that don't interview.

Cambridge is like a day centre for the highly intelligent weird sort, seriously. Get him to enquire about the Special Access Scheme so it gets flagged up properly during the application process. He will be fine as long as he can hold and to and fro conversation about intellectual subjects and problems.

I would add to that that he is probably better off at Cambridge than anywhere else I can think of given his situation. There is so much support and he is bound to meet other similar types and form relationships. It is regarded as one version of normal and even slightly desirable up there.

Oxford Uni is also chock full of shy obsessive socially awkward types, when I read the thread title I thought 'Oxford' straight away. If he's obsessive/passionate about his subject, he should do well at interview.

Just to add that Oxford uni also has a disproportionately high representation of people just like your friend's son OP. He will probably be a lot better off at Oxbridge than at practically any other uni tbh. He can be a loner and just live and breathe his academic work if he wants to and there's nothing wrong with that. Or if he wants to explore the concept of having friends there are enough similar people at oxbridge that there are several clubs/societies almost all members of which are oddballs who never had any/many friends pre-uni because there was only one of them per school but they are now concentrated sufficiently to be able to find each other.

I went to a conference in Oxford where Tony Attwood, a world renowned expert in Asperger's was speaking. His first comment was that he had never seen so many students with AS in one place before. He called it something like Aspie Central.

Your friend' son will fit right in.

Definitely apply to Oxbridge, that's a chance of a lifetime! They look for a curious intellect and intelligence; social skills and confidence definitely help but are not necessarily everything.

However, depending on his particular passions, look up courses elsewhere too. There are people of every sort of spectrum in most universities and he might be happier doing what he wants rather than just being a place with like-minded people. (For example, if he happens to be passionately into designing cars, I think Coventry is the place to be, though you wouldn't automatically think of it!)