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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Ds 17 hasn't a clue what he wants to do re the future/uni...how do I support him?

53 replies

ssd · 27/07/2015 10:29

he's a bright boy but he needs to work for it, like a lot of youngsters

he's in a great school, I'm sure they are helping but when I go to the parents nights its all careers in medicine etc, which isnt for him

I just dont know how to advise him, he wants to go to uni in a year but doesnt know what to do, he has no particular leanings towards anything

any advice would be appreciated!

OP posts:
senua · 27/07/2015 11:29

Pag is spot on. I always say to my DC that schools are there to help you, they want you to succeed. Universities are about research, they don't care if students succeed.
Successful students are those who succeed despite this lack of hand-holding; they are saying to the world "I am self-motivated, I am an autonomous adult". That is why recruiters don't always care so much about the subject studied, they care about the classification (grade) because it shows character.

The best thing you can do is start your DS on this path. Support, but don't do the legwork for him.

Original poster
ssd · 27/07/2015 11:35

thats interesting senua

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senua · 27/07/2015 11:42

I'll probably get some University staff on soon, frothing at the mouth! They can be incredibly helpful but only if you ask. They make loads of opportunities available but no-one will force the student to do anything, they are allowed to fail.
It's up to the student not to fail. It's all about student-motivation, not lecturer-motivation (they have plenty else to be doing!).

Original poster
ssd · 27/07/2015 11:45

yes but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.....

OP posts:
senua · 27/07/2015 11:50

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.....

That's it exactly. I think it can be very frustrating being a lecturer.

twentyten · 27/07/2015 11:58

It would be a really good idea to go to a university open day near you just to get a feel for it and perhaps look at social sciences courses/ business just to get a feel for it.
Could you book him on the career coach session? I know that is doing it for him but I liken it to nudgingGrinGrin

eatyourveg · 27/07/2015 12:00

This might help

TheEdgeOfPhysics · 27/07/2015 12:36

Ask on a variety of uni websites, choose 10 maybe, for hard copies of their prospectus to be sent to your home address. Unwrap and flick through yourself and leave in a pile for him. Some Scottish some English some higher achieving, say Nottingham, some more middle of the road, say Portsmouth (plucking out of the air)

Original poster
ssd · 27/07/2015 12:37

can I also ask, what's the difference between intermediate and higher apprenticeships?

we're in Scotland so the higher's here are different to what's studied in England, dont know the equivelent

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Metacentric · 27/07/2015 12:53

I thought they had to go to uni after school

My uncle did a full-time residential first degree in his sixties. And got funding for it, too. These days you can get a loan for the fees for a first degree at any age if you haven't been to university before, but you need to be under sixty when the course starts to get a maintenance loan. If you don't know what you want to do, waiting is a good idea.

RainyJuly · 27/07/2015 13:03

Look up Scottish apprenticeships on-line, they have some different jargon.

Beware university courses with low graduate employment rates at the end.

UptheChimney · 27/07/2015 13:10

They can be incredibly helpful but only if you ask. They make loads of opportunities available but no-one will force the student to do anything, they are allowed to fail

This certainly doesn't make me froth at the mouth, senua ! It's a pretty accurate summary of what good universities offer.

University is not school. We don't spoonfeed or handhold (although some students, some parents, and some admin staff seem to think we should/do).

OP what is your son actually interested in? What hobbies does he have? What activities outside of school? What organisations does he belong to?

Maybe don't focus on the job/s he might aim for -- I tend to think that some of the jobs undergrads will get (or make for themselves) in 5 years time haven't been invented yet.

Maybe focus on what he's interested in. You don't give much of an indication of his interests or passions.

From what you say so far, I'd suggest a generalist degree in something like History. THere's so much room in that discipline to follow interests that are discovered along the way. And it is excellent training in thinking, learning, and writing not that I'm biased !

RainyJuly · 27/07/2015 13:11

Highers are equivalent to AS level.

Even if you don't get the Higher grades some Scottish courses may ask for Advanced Highers at a certain grade and there are offers sometimes given if you miss the grades to do a summer schools at the institution. They will take into account if YOU THE PARENTS did not go to University apparently. I'm just a mum picking it up from my kid , so please go online and research and ask school for advice!

Good luck!

UptheChimney · 27/07/2015 13:11

Or a gap year where he gets a job not faffs around or goes to "Africa" Africa is not a country-- to "help people". Works in the world for a NMW job, and have a think about what he really wants to do.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 27/07/2015 13:15

The school should offer careers advice, and advice on all post-school options. If they don't (they should), could you afford to do this privately?

There is no need for DS to make his mind up at all yet - he can take a year out (or several years out) and either travel, temp, do an apprenticeship, do nothing (not advised) and apply for university in 10, 20, 30 years time if he wanted to.

You can do anything at any age - there is no set timetable for what to do, when.

HarrietVane99 · 27/07/2015 13:27

OP, have look at the 'Sadness of Open Days' thread here in the Higher Education folder. There's lots of interesting discussion in there.

Don't know about Scotland, but there are many ways of doing a degree in England. As pps have said, you can go as a mature student after several years in the workplace. You can study part time, while still having a job. You can do a degree online. The oldest person I know of who studied part time for a degree was in her eighties.

In humanities subjects especially, people who do a degree in their twenties or older often say they get more out of it, because of the extra life experience they can bring to the subject.

Original poster
ssd · 27/07/2015 22:17

thanks for all advice here.

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JeanneDeMontbaston · 28/07/2015 08:18

Universities are about research, they don't care if students succeed.

Not frothing, but definitely disagreeing. I want my students to succeed and, like quite a few academics, my whole job is about teaching. I do research, but I'm employed to teach primarily.

Anyway, I wondered - can he pin down why he likes Modern Studies? Is it learning about how people live, or understanding politics, or the economic side, or what? Which bits has he enjoyed most/done best at? What does he like reading about?

If he can answer that it might help show what degree he'd get the most out of.

Original poster
ssd · 28/07/2015 08:21

I'll need to chat with him, find out a bit more...thought God knows he keeps himself to himself a lot.

How do you get a 17 year old boy to chat? We are very close, but talking about what's in his head has never been his strong point.

OP posts:
twentyten · 28/07/2015 08:49

When doing something else is always good- walking/ in the car/ cooking/ doing the garden- less intense eye contact etc. think of some questions to ask gently.

Original poster
ssd · 28/07/2015 11:39

yes, its pick your moments time Smile

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Husbanddoestheironing · 28/07/2015 11:45

UCAS also often do 'roadshows' throughout the year which should show some of the variety of options on offer and some more details and the chance to ask questions informally. Don't feel worried about not knowing about things at them- just be up front about it and ask. Have a look at their website to find out where/when.

Original poster
ssd · 28/07/2015 13:25

I've looked but cant see anything in Scotland

OP posts:
RainyJuly · 28/07/2015 13:30

Search for Higher Education Conventions Scotland.

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