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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Dropping dd off at university

51 replies

Seriouslyffs · 25/06/2015 21:31

Dd wishes me to drive her to university , she is going for the first time in October however it is 6 hours away and I really cannot be arsed

OP posts:

Perfectlypurple · 27/06/2015 16:11

We intend to take dsd to uni. I can't see why you wouldn't. She has way too much stuff to make her own way there, and she is very young for her age so would in no way cope getting herself there. We will go back up at the end of the first year to collect her. Inbetween she can get herself back in the train for holidays.

SaltySeaBird · 27/06/2015 16:12

I really wanted somebody to drop me off at uni. I was terrified and a real homebody (had hardly stayed anywhere overnight alone ever).

Nobody would take me. I drove myself (3 hours away from home) and got hopelessly lost (no sat nav in those days). I arrived in floods of tears and there was nobody around as it was quite late in the evening by that point. I still remember that feeling now. I also however have no fear going anywhere by myself anywhere in the world and I'm very independent so it probably toughened me up!

I will definitely take DD when / if she goes to uni. As she is only two at the moment I have quite a few years before I need to worry about it though!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/06/2015 18:13

We don't have a car. We have trudged back and forth at the start and end of every term to help our son with his stuff. He travels light but even so, it's a lot more than one person can carry. We used to go up and down by train but then learned about the joys of the Oxford Tube, an amazingly frequent bus service which is cheaper and more flexible.

I've enjoyed it. It's the only insight into our son's university life we've had, as he tells us sod all about things otherwise.

All over now. Nervous wait for results for the next fortnight. [nailbiting emoticon]

Good luck to all the newbies for the autumn! I cry at anything but I've surprised myself by managing very well after the first drop off. It's been such a fantastic opportunity for him that my overwhelming feeling was delight that he was there and happy.

noddyholder · 27/06/2015 18:14

God pathetic

MadameJosephine · 27/06/2015 18:22

I was the first person ever to go to uni in my family so it was a big deal. Neither of my parents drive so I have lovely memories of my proud grandad driving me there at the beginning of term, he died before the end of my first year :(

I have been told by my DS that he will get the train there with a few things and then I can follow him down a few days later with the rest of his stuff once he's settled in. I am, of course, very proud that he is confident and independent enough to do so but part of me wants to complete the 'handover' so to speak.

I'm not generally the sentimental sort but I will admit to watery eyes now and again when I think of my little boy leaving home

Perfectlypurple · 27/06/2015 18:53

What exactly is pathetic noddy?

HarrietSchulenberg · 27/06/2015 19:10

My mum dropped me off in Leeds, 26 years ago, in her old yellow Fiat, fully loaded as I didn't travel light in those days. Cases, books, vinyl lps, record player, toaster, spider plant etc.
I would have struggled on the train with that lot! She then drove home, sobbing most of the way, during which time I was happily sampling the alcoholic delights of The Faversham with a couple of hundred other freshers .

Parents staying nearby is not uncommon these days: you're hard pressed to find a B&B in my local university town during Freshers' Week. I used to work at the university and have known parents demand we find them accommodation ON CAMPUS for the week. Turning up and asking to be booked into the parents' accommodation and wondering why they were met with a face.

I've also known parents sleep in rooms that already shared due to the usual induction week overcrowding, so someone's child has arrived at uni to find out that not only are they temporarily sharing with another student, but that the other student's mother is there too. It was Wednesday before us staff found out, and mummy was unceremoniously turfed out within the hour, protesting and threatening to take her dd with her. The dd sighed wearily and said, "Please Mum, just go home", so off she went.

Yuleloglatte · 27/06/2015 19:30

I am pretty hard line but I still take my kids to and pick them up from uni. When I got a place at Uni, my parents thought it was snobby and I had to get the train. It was so depressing, and I was very limited in what I could take in my rucksack ( no duvet cover etc). Also the other parents often took their child out to local shops/ for meal ( as is the case when we drop our children off).

I can see the drive is a ball ache though - could you book a hotel and make a weekend of it? My son is in a nice city and we now go down a couple of times a term and stay locally for the weekend, just seeing him for lunch one day and taking him food shopping the next.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/06/2015 00:39

Don't students have trunks any more? Back in the day, you sent the bulk of your stuff in a trunk (which could then be used to store everything if they used the halls for conferences in the vac, in the trunk room. Then you could travel with just a suitcase or rucksack so train would be fine.

However, my first arrival at uni was much better than parents driving me - big bro took me in other big bros sports car.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 29/06/2015 05:09

Back in the day, you sent the bulk of your stuff in a trunk

When was this!?

EllenJanethickerknickers · 29/06/2015 08:14

A very, very long time ago. My friend arrived with a trunk sent on ahead. She was the only one I ever heard of back in 1984. No trunk room, so she had this enormous trunk in her tiny room for the next 2 years until she moved into a shared house.

Molio · 29/06/2015 08:21

I always take my DC for their first term/ at the start of freshers week and for the start of each new year. It's good to see their room and where they'll be. I wouldn't dream of packing them off on a train, though they come and go on trains after that, depending on bulk/ storage facilities etc. I enjoy it, but it's always pretty clear when I'm required to scarper.

Madame Josephine that might well be a really good alternative, the way your DS suggests - parking much simplified at least!

Gasp0de very good luck to him. I remember we swapped luck before the DSs' respective finals - I hope they went well. DS1's finals results are in sometime today, delayed from Friday. He got back last night and is going to be asleep for some while if he's true to form. The results are probably going to sit in his inbox for hours....

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 29/06/2015 11:09

Gosh, good luck for today, Molio! We have another fortnight or so to go before our son gets his results, I believe. My daughter is also waiting for her degree result (different place) and claims to have no idea when she'll get it. I will be so relieved when July is over and all is known!

yearofthegoat · 29/06/2015 11:49

We live abroad and DH wound DD up saying she could fly to the UK by herself with a suitcase and rucksack. Poor DD was quite upset. In the end I flew over with her to take her to uni and I'm flying over soon to help her move from halls to her shared house.

The first year has gone so fast and has been absolutely fine, despite my worries. With texts and Facetime it has been very easy to stay in touch.

Lilymaid · 29/06/2015 11:52

*Back in the day, you sent the bulk of your stuff in a trunk"
Yes it did happen - I did, back in the 1970s. Sent trunk on by "British Road Services" or "Red Star Parcels" a couple of days in advance, then got the train hired by the student union (pre railcards) from London down to university. At the other end, the trunks were waiting and were very willingly carried to our rooms by male students hoping to meet nice new freshers!
My parents only ever came down to collect my stuff at the end of my degree on graduation day.

HocusUcas · 29/06/2015 14:34

Good Luck to your DS for today Molio

(Do you want me to keep cave while you hack into his email ? )

MadameJosephine · 29/06/2015 18:43

Good luck molio hope all goes well. Im not sure I could let him sleep though, id be noisily hoovering outside his bedroom door!

DS' s exams went ok, only another 45 days to wait for results not that im counting oh no

ErrolTheDragon · 29/06/2015 23:51

My trunk- sending was in 1979, quite normal then. It had belonged to my brothers before me. Useful in student flat as extra storage and seating.

Good thing I mentioned it, I'd no idea this useful object was consigned to the the far reaches of history, I'd probably have been trying to buy and send one for DD in a couple of years time!

MaggieJoyBlunt · 30/06/2015 01:04

It sounds very sensible and civilized but hard to imagine. Like platform tickets and railway porters

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 30/06/2015 10:03

Fascinating, Errol! I left for university in 1980 and did not have a trunk. I don't remember anyone I knew having a trunk, either. However, I had no older siblings so there was no trunk in the family. I suspect the tradition was on its last legs by that stage.

Trunk - legs - oh dear. That's set me off all over again. (Errol will know what I mean. It's a Terry Pratchett reference.)

Needmoresleep · 30/06/2015 13:47

OP's DD could pack herself in a trunk and be delivered?!

I have an old one from my boarding school days which I could give her.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 30/06/2015 14:34

This is a fascinating story about a man who posted himself to Australia 50 years ago.

MonstrousRatbag · 30/06/2015 14:38

I knew someone at uni who was so homesick in Freshers Week that he considered dropping out. So he mum drove down and slept on his floor for a week until he felt able to cope on his own.

I'm agog at this! I had a real wobble in my first term at Uni. My father's response was to tell me I sounded depressed, but I'd end up being even more depressed if I dropped out, so I had to make a go of it. I was only allowed to ring home once a week and wasn't allowed to go back for a weekend until after Christmas! Plus, he didn't tell my mother because he knew she would come flying down to see me.

He was right about all of it though. If I'd gone back home, I'd never had got the courage to return to Uni. By Xmas I'd got more into it, and surviving the term made me feel more confident I could cope with the rest of it. I did graduate, but it was not the happiest period in my life.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 30/06/2015 17:04

People are very different aren't they? I cried practically every day until Christmas (meals were the worst for some reason), but I went home for a weekend after three weeks or so, and found it really helped - seeing everything was still the same. I felt I could go away and come back and things wouldn't have changed too much.

Delilahfandango · 30/06/2015 23:00

Having just driven a round trip of over 260 miles (ok, not that far!) to pick up DD today after her 1st year (the car was full to brimming), I don't know how anyone could go to university without a lift!!

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