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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Preparing for Uni in 2015

998 replies

circular · 22/06/2015 09:01

Carrying on from yr13 thread, here thought we could share our ideas for Uni preparation.

All welcome, not just those in above thread. Would especially appreciate contributions from those who have 'been there'

Topics that spring to mind, and a few recent threads on them are :

What to take What to take , What NOT to take, Shared accommodation

Clearing out rooms

How much to contribute What does it cost, How much needed weekly, How much are you subbing

Budgeting, cooking, and other life skills to learn Easy recipes for teens

Leaving friends, family, boy/girlfriends behind

Us coping without them - noted series of 'Empty Nest' threads.

Hope all the links correct!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Doilooklikeatourist · 28/08/2015 21:57

The biggest problem we have is ...
DD has tickets to see A Big Boy Band at the O 2 the second week of freshers
She doesn't have a time table yet , so doesn't know when things kick off ..
.. And it could be the last time they tour together , and she might not get a chance ro see them again ... Puppy dog eyes ....
But , it might be the first week of actual uni..

Mindgone · 29/08/2015 00:23

Horsemad, thank you, that's kind. From friends I've heard that it's easier than you might expect, but I'm not expecting that!!

Horsemad · 29/08/2015 10:13

When does your DS start Mindgone?

MarianneSolong · 29/08/2015 10:35

I've worked out that for me the main issue is all the memories of when I went off to university for the first time.

Some of these memories are quite bad. However, I remember liking the slightly spartan look of the room I was allocated as a first year. It was mine and I could lock the door if I wanted to. (This was quite important as my father had been violent.) I also positively liked the fact that there was nothing in it that my mother and father had chosen. That symbolised a kind of freedom and independence.

Hence I suppose my unwillingness to buy lots of stuff for my daughter. I can see that for many people it's all about love - but for me it could feel too much like an attempt to carry on imposing on her. She'll be getting a list about what to take any day now though - so of course, if we haven't got some of the necessary stuff, then we'll have to get that sorted.

To me the most important thing is the emotional side. Is my daughter sufficiently mature to cope with this new stage in her life. I think I can't really do any more beyond carrying on being a listening ear over the next few weeks, and being on the end of the phone when she's gone. And probably visiting after she's had a bit of time to settle in and work stuff out.

Mindgone · 30/08/2015 01:16

Horsemad, he goes on Sun 30th, how about your DS?

Mindgone · 30/08/2015 01:19

I mean Sun 20th!

Horsemad · 30/08/2015 07:52

Mine goes on the weekend of 19/20th. I'm feeling fine about it, but every so often I feel a bit sad. I think that's normal though, isn't it?! Smile

The past 2 yrs have been quite stressful with him (didn't apply himself, etc) so a break might do us all good.

dementedma · 30/08/2015 08:21

Gosh this all takes me back to just 2 years ago when it was DD setting out and I did most of the above. Fast forward to now when she lives in a rented flat off campus, has lovely boyfriend, good part-time job and requires minimal input from me. I don't even know when she goes back.....erm, sometime in September?
It's lovely when they become independent.

basildonbond · 30/08/2015 08:55

Eek - two weeks today I'll be driving ds to Exeter ... I really hope he starts to grow up ...

Like horsemad's ds he didn't apply himself until after Christmas last year which caused a lot of stress and hair-pulling all round (but then managed to surpass himself and do brilliantly in the exams so now feels that winging it is a valid strategy Hmm)

He's being lovely about half the time at the moment which makes me think 'he'll be gone soon ' and then he'll be horrible to his siblings or rude to me and I'll think 'yay, he's going to uni' so I'm feeling a bit conflicted Grin

Thankfully I start a new job the following week, plus ds2 is in his GCSE year so I will have plenty to occupy my time and thoughts

It is scary how fast the last 18 years have gone though ...

Chillywhippet · 30/08/2015 09:02

Marianne - I went to uni with things difficult at home and can remember being glad to get away.
My mum has been watching DD and me preparing and she said she didn't offer me much support. she will be putting £50 a month onto a sainsburys meal ticket card for DD to buy basic food (or posh shampoo and conditioner I suspect).
DD has chosen most of the stuff. Some of it I don't think she really needs and she has also got a few things from home. I have picked up a few things when I've been without her but only if I knew she wanted it and being happy to take it back.
I'm sure when your DD gets her list you will enjoy helping her get ready whether that means shopping with her, chatting about it or admiring what she brings home.

DD going on 11th. Quite early. Her freshers guide says
"Remember photo ID is required to register. Please bring along one of the following:
Original passport
Photo driving licence
National UK/EU identity card
Citizen card

Demented I was thinking about how fast sixth form went and that the first year will fly too!

MrsBartlet · 30/08/2015 09:09

Dd goes on 3rd Oct. She is working her way through a massive reading list at the moment. Ds (14) has taken to badgering us about getting a dog - I think he is trying to find a replacement for his sister Grin

GypsyFl0ss · 30/08/2015 09:48

Dd is off on the 3rd as well.
Today I woke up feeling a little tearful about it but then she told me about a late night politics argument she had online with some of her new fellow students and it reminded me that she is ready to move to on and blossom.

I'm being left her dog though!

CharltonLido73 · 30/08/2015 10:09

Regarding trips to Ikea, etc.: Wilkinson (Wilco) is good for cheap basics if you have one nearby. We did the Ikea trip once for DD1, but there's nothing that can't be obtained from Wilkinson's or Argus for a fraction of the stress.

CharltonLido73 · 30/08/2015 10:11

Argus
Argos!

cathyandclaire · 30/08/2015 10:16

Marianne Flowers your post really made me think.
I'd wondered about getting a few 'surprise' bits but you are so right, this is all about their own space and choices.
DD is also looking forward to getting more info from college about room allocation, what's needed etc. She's waitressing full time at the moment and suddenly she seems like an independent adult, it's lovely but sad at the same time. She actually asked me to go with her for her jab, it was nice to still be needed!

Horsemad · 30/08/2015 10:49

DS has chosen most of his stuff himself, with the exception of some stuff we already had here - he did give his approval though!

Original poster
circular · 30/08/2015 11:34

Must confess, have done much of the Uni shopping for DD but only with her approval. Usually when I've been at the shops or on-line and seen something and sent her a photo. Done a couple of trips together, and she's bought a few things online herself, plus helping her sort out what she takes from home. DD2, boyfriend and best friend all gave her decorative bits for her room for birthday.

Don't mind the running around, but get if you don't tread carefully could be intruding on 'their space'.
Think she as appreciated the help, as has been spending lots of time online getting to know others on her course and discussing optional modules etc. as needs to make choices soon. As well as being able to socialise and say goodbyes to friends that she may not be seeing for a while.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 30/08/2015 12:01

Just debating whether to have a 'Farewell' family meal here, or will we all be silently sobbing??!

Fairenuff · 30/08/2015 12:06

Dd is so laid back she couldn't be more horizontal. I've given up asking when she's going to sort out what she needs. Not to worry though, it appears that she's one of those lucky ones who has magic fairies do everything for her Hmm

This morning she was no-where to be seen when I got up and my car was gone too. She breezes in an hour later to say she went to pick up a friend who was stranded at a hotel after going back there the night before from a club. I didn't ask.

Just under three weeks to go and I think we're both looking forward to it Grin

Will miss her though.

Decorhate · 30/08/2015 13:00

I've bought dd a few things - duvet, pillows, kettle - that she hopefully won't object to. Will go to a local Matalan or Dunhelm Mills with her to choose new duvet covers etc. I'm not planning on getting much more than the basics anyway as there won't be space in the car (we are all going to drop her off & will have to stay overnight due to distance).

One thing I'm not sure about is the need to buy a printer.

cathyandclaire · 30/08/2015 13:54

I've got some basic stuff like that too. I also went for it and got a printer as I think the printer fees are pretty high. Dd definitely not too bothered about choosing and buying the dull but essential and expensive stuff!

Original poster
circular · 30/08/2015 14:01

Gone for a printer/copier/scanner here. But DD does like to make copies of her music to annotate, rather than the originals.

About a 2 hour drive for us, traffic permitting. Hoping to get a morning slot then plan just to unload, quick check round room and drop DD to unpack. Then have an explore with DH and DD2. Possibly pop back to check on DD1 later, and/or take her shopping if she needs anything else.

OP posts:
Decorhate · 30/08/2015 14:08

I suppose it's hard to tell in advance how much printing will be needed. Might get dd to try to find out from current students.

HMF1 · 30/08/2015 14:24

We well I am in full preparation mode for DS1'S departure to Edinburgh on the 12th, am now actively trying to stop myself buying anymore apart from a medical kit,. His gran turned up with a wok, frying pan & individual sized frying pan from Aldi (she had been planning on John Lewis before I reminded her that limited cooking skills weren't kind to pots) given her choices I think my mum knows more about student catering choices than she is letting on.
He now has his freshers pack from the students union a huge variety of events, very different from my day, food fair with Edinburgh' s artisans food producers, gin tastings, whisky tastings etc.

AtiaoftheJulii · 30/08/2015 16:55

Dd wants her existing bedding to take with her, so that's easy. Not buying a printer as she gets 600 pages credit (iirc) in college so will see how that goes. She's got some towels with her name on so she's taking them (will probably add one or two) - she's been looking at some friends' "uni haul" shopping photos and pointing out to me all the things she doesn't need, lol!