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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Oh FFS, DS, just pick a bloody university...

23 replies

Lancelottie · 05/01/2015 22:01

...because by the time you've done the nth exhaustive spreadsheet comparing the merits of five different courses for the 5th slot on your UCAS form, we are going to be well past the deadline.

DS is on a Gap year. He's had all last year to think about this and has had his results since August.

I can hear him still talking it through with DH in the other room.

I have had to leave before I committed infanticide. JUST STICK A NAME DOWN and send the form in!

OP posts:
QuicheLemon · 06/01/2015 13:41

I think they have seven days to amend university choices once they have pressed the send button...

chemenger · 06/01/2015 13:43

You can submit it with 4 choices and add a fifth later, but if he has four that he is happy with and is likely to get offers from why bother with a fifth? DD has only four choices and, although she originally intended to add a fifth is probably not going to bother now. I think there is a charge for adding choices once you have submitted, but in the greater scheme of things we were just glad to have the form in.

LoofahVanDross · 06/01/2015 13:48

I feel your pain. I went through all of this last year. Oh god was i losing the will to live with bloody UCAS. End result? First choice uni, and he decided to go out to work instead!!

Which suits me fine as he is on a good career path and not coming to us for money!

chocoluvva · 06/01/2015 13:51

And a certain amount of mixing and matching is often still possible once you've started your course - I mean, how does anyone know they'll enjoy a course in a subject they've never studied? Go to a Scottish uni and he'll be able to study three or four courses in his first year if he wants.

Original poster
Lancelottie · 06/01/2015 13:58

No please don't add all of Scotland to the list as well, this child is terminally indecisive at the best of times!

(Loofah, we went through it all last year as well. He had good offers. He changed his mind about the course. Which was better than starting, finding he hated it and then pulling out, but still.... aargh!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lancelottie · 06/01/2015 13:59

Sorry. Ahem. This young adult is terminally indecisive at the best of times. As you were.

OP posts:
PeaStalks · 06/01/2015 15:32

OP I feel your pain.
DS1 did this for Every Single Deadline. I was almost sobbing "but what if the internet breaks?" as he waited until 1159pm to press send.
DS2 will be worse next year, I know it. I remember him crying in a sweetie shop when he was 8 because he just could not choose.

Kez100 · 06/01/2015 16:41

My DD only wanted to put one!

She managed to find four, pressed send, then managed to bag an unconditional from the first choice.

I am happy in the knowledge that she was absolutely sure it was the right place for her.

Original poster
Lancelottie · 06/01/2015 17:14

Oh Peastalks, please tell me that university was the making of him and you no longer wait up till midnight yelping 'Just Press Send, goddammit!'?

DS would like to meld his options so that Warwick's course runs in Bath and has Durham's college system, and then persuade the friend he met through work to go there instead of Bristol. Then he'd be happy.

OP posts:
PeaStalks · 06/01/2015 17:47

Hmm I didn't know that about Scotland.

Lancelottie Actually he has coped better than I thought he might. Although that may just be the blissful ignorance of being 100s of miles away and not knowing his deadlines Grin.

eatyourveg · 06/01/2015 21:58

Does he actually want to go or is it delaying tactics until he accidentally on purpose misses the deadline?

Original poster
Lancelottie · 07/01/2015 08:31

eatyourveg, I wondered about that last year and in fact he wasn't at all ready to go, but felt he should apply because school said so. He applied in a sort of scattergun approach to five very different courses.

This year he is much more focused, knows what course he wants, and says he does want to apply -- just can't bring himself to miss out any good options.

He's still kicking himself for not re-applying post-A-levels to Cambridge (he has A A A results), so he does have form for accidentally missing deadlines through indecision rather than on purpose.

OP posts:
Solasum · 07/01/2015 08:35

In which case why doesn't he take another year 'out' working and apply to Cambridge next time round?

Original poster
Lancelottie · 07/01/2015 11:43

because I'd have throttled him by then

Yes, good suggestion!

OP posts:
RandomFriend · 08/01/2015 12:00

Submit the form with four choices, and add a fifth afterwards.

The deadline is very, very close and the school has to add its stuff.

MrsMcRuff · 08/01/2015 12:07

He applied in a sort of scattergun approach to five very different courses.

Ds wanted to do this, but found it hard to adapt his personal statement........Aaargh!! (sorry, had a flashback)........to cover different courses. How did your ds manage?

Needmoresleep · 08/01/2015 12:30

Sympathies. However remember most courses are only three years. Is it likely that he will want to do a Masters. If so he might do better seeing his first degree as a stepping stone, and simply decide that any of the Universities you have mentioned will provide a firm foundation. The longer he takes starting the longer he will take to finish.

Original poster
Lancelottie · 08/01/2015 19:48

RandomFriend -- hurray, that's just what he has done! The UCAS site is already showing his reference as complete (? Confused) but I'll check that the school think they've done it.

MrsMcRuff -- I think last year's application contained the splendid phrase 'my interests have always lain at the intersection between art, science and the environment' (yes, he does write that pompously in real life) which covered... pretty much anything barring MFL, really.

OP posts:
SlowlorisIncognito · 09/01/2015 13:09

Can you try to detach a bit now he's sent his application off? He's presumably 18 or 19. If he misses out on things because he can't make a decision, that isn't really your problem, is it? I certainly don't think you should be chasing up the school for him! If you withdraw a bit more, it might focus his mind?

Original poster
Lancelottie · 09/01/2015 13:25

There are some special needs involved, Loris. I absolutely take your point, but at school he had a full-time keyworker, so the transition from that to whatever the unis can provide will have to be a bit more gradual.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lancelottie · 09/01/2015 13:29

And I know it's really irritating of me to drip-feed that aspect, but I just needed to let some steam out of my ears without being all understanding of his difficulties for a bit!

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 09/01/2015 14:18

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about his personal statement - the heads of dept I know all say they barely read them!

I know what you mean about not wanting special needs to always come into everything! (My DH has aspergers - I know he doesn't mean to forget stuff, but it's still irritating sometimes)

Glad he's got his application off.

PiratePanda · 10/01/2015 12:47

Nobody will care about or even read the personal statement of a candidate who already has their A-Levels (and outstanding ones to boot). They'll just tick off whether the subjects are a good match for the course.

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