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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Weekends home from university, how do you handle them?

44 replies

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 27/10/2014 17:38

Just wondering, really. Do you treat them like returning royalty, do you carry on as normal, do you send them back with lots of home baked goodies?

DD has been home and I tried to spoil her a bit but also had to get on with my own things as I had a busy week at work coming up. So, not able/willing to sit up until 2am chatting as I'm sure she would have liked. She did go back with some cash and a chocolate cake. DH was a bit miffed that she went off to see a friend but I don't think that's unreasonable.

I think she found the transition between her new exciting life and her possibly slightly boring home a bit hard to adjust to although she didn't complain, she's generally easy-going and grateful.

How do you handle it?

OP posts:

Mumblechum1 · 15/11/2014 03:48

DS is home for the first time this term (2nd year) and has brought his girlfriend. We hung out chatting this afternoon and had dinner together then disappeared to his living room and just occasionally reappeared to raid the fridge/vodka

It's lovely to see him so happy with his girl but I hope I can snatch half an hour with him for a one to one chat before they go back.

ggirl · 15/11/2014 08:28

Love it when dd comes home , she's in her 4th yr . Misses the dog more than us ,but we all get excited when she comes home. Favourite meal laid on and her and I have a shopping day usually . She comes home once a term , has just gone back yesterday from her reading week.

secretsquirrels · 15/11/2014 10:48

Visiting royalty here this weekend .
His first trip home (no reading week) and it's lovely.
He's going off to visit GF today then back for 3 weeks until Christmas break.

Mumblechum I know what you mean. It's a pleasure seeing him happy with his girlfriend but I will manage a bit of one to one to one by driving him back.

Arlagirl · 15/11/2014 10:52

Dd will hopefully going to uni about an hour and half by train away in Sept. I hope she will be having too much fun to come home much....once a term would be fine.

ajandjjmum · 15/11/2014 11:10

DS has just finished four years of uni, and is moving into a new flat with a couple of friends next weekend. Really feels like it's his first home, which makes me feel happy and sad. He is coming home this weekend though, so that we can go for a 'shop' for his room, which will be fun!

DD is living at home whilst at uni, and does get slightly fed up of the fuss made of DS, although she loves seeing him too.

noddyholder · 15/11/2014 11:13

aj he is really lucky to be able to afford a flat I dont know any graduates who aren't back with parents!

debjud · 15/11/2014 11:20

Chance'd be a fine thing! I suppose I should be happy that DD says she doesn't have time to come home at weekend cos of working going out, playing sport etc. We went to see her about 3 weeks in but can't keep doing that as 3.5 hours drive away. Have had lots of chats on the phone - she's good about keeping in touch, but am missing her a lot. Next time we see her will be end of term - not till 2nd week December

Mumblechum1 · 15/11/2014 12:26

We'll only get to see DS for 3 or 4 days over Xmas as well, I think, he's very much made his home in his Uni town so it's a matter of "visiting the parents" rather than "going home" these days.

noddyholder · 15/11/2014 12:35

I am lucky that ds still very much sees home as home but thats because his uni town is very dull!

ajandjjmum · 15/11/2014 14:52

noddy - he is working now - he was lucky enough (and tried very hard!) to get a job that started straight after his degree. Mind you, after paying London rent, there's not a lot to spare!

flowery · 15/11/2014 15:01

"DH not seriously miffed that she saw a friend, just that having become used to her own agenda, she hadn't checked that it was at a convenient time. "

Why would her social life need to be at a convenient time for you, was she expecting a lift at short notice or something?

noddyholder · 15/11/2014 15:44

Thats great he has a job :)

ajandjjmum · 15/11/2014 19:06

I think it was probably a tongue in cheek comment flowery - I would say the same, although fully realise that our DC have to go and do their own thing even when they're at home.

Flingmoo · 15/11/2014 19:26

I feel bad now that I didn't go home more often while at uni. I only graduated 2.5 years ago. I met my now DH in the third term of first year and we moved into a shared flat together the summer between first and second year. So most of the time I was staying there with him, and that became the new 'home'. Parental home slowly felt less like home and more like a place to go visit. Now, 6 years later, my old room has been changed completely into a guest room :(

I remember it being so boring going home and my parents were going to bed at 10, compared to the all-night lifestyle of living on campus. The other day I found my old blog from back then and I was moaning about them going to bed so early. Now I've got a baby of my own and we always go to bed early!

flowery · 15/11/2014 20:20

"I think it was probably a tongue in cheek comment flowery"

Hope so. I was trying to think of how one adult going out with a friend could be inconvenient for another adult, and the needing a lift thing was all I could come up with!

dancingwitch · 15/11/2014 20:36

The thing which I used to love about going home was the normality of it. You knew what would happen & when and there were no emotional dramas. Given everyone in my hall in the 1st yr was between 17 and 19 and the only "adults" I spoke to were college staff, it was really nice to speak to people of different ages & outlooks (eg my 14 yo brother, 6 yo cousin, elderly & never left the neighbourhood neighbour etc) and remember that there was a world outside the Uni bubble. Having said that, even now when I call or email my parents to announce when I will be visiting I tend to tell them by saying something about rolling out the red carpet or killing the fatted calf.

Mumblechum1 · 16/11/2014 09:39

Actually having DS home has reminded me of how annoying he can be; he and the GF have been having midnight feasts, massive breakfast fryups (at 2pm), and leaving all the pans in the sink.

I do love him though

noddyholder · 16/11/2014 09:58

Yes there is that you think in the first 24 hrs you will never lose your rag with them again but soon you are doing the count to ten and walk away like they are 5

Caramelkate · 16/11/2014 10:05

My Ds is home as his grandad ( other side of long separated family) has died. I'm trying to nurture without expectation - but am a little annoyed at drunken eating of lasagne meant for today! I think they forget they can't behave like they are in halls at home. Took him a bacon sandwich in bed but shall not be making a habit of it and slightly dreading 3 week christmas break while also looking forward to it.

I gave noticed DS is a lot nicer to his siblings now - chats to them on facebook and spends time with them which he never did before.

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