DS phoned me this evening. Gone back to his old uni, which is a very remote (and very lovely) part of the UK, far from home. But his undergrad years were mostly very happy and he wanted to go back. And to a strong department.
He sounded uncharacteristically sad - said postgrads he's seen during this first induction week appear much older - 30s, 40s, 50s - the one or two he recognises from his undergrad course won't engage in conversation with him - his old pals, some now third years, he's seeing but finding it a bit hard to re-integrate. GF has left the uni.
Said at induction staff didn't recognize him - think he was a bit hurt (explained that sheer volume of students is usually the problem and that the postgrad year can often be rather more personal so wait and see).
Said he would work (has been offered a p/t job), study hard, get his head down but he sounded lonely. I did say, very nicely, that he didn't have to do pg so soon after graduating, that maybe lots of his former classmates were taking some time off to work before further study, and that he might have thought about a bigger place with a younger profile ... But of course it would be hard for him to leave now. Deposit and first month's rent on room in really very nice house has been paid (by us) and a family trust (very stroppy, difficult trustee ... another story) has paid the fees in one go.
I don't know - I did tell him it was very early days and that once you settle into your groups, the age differences don't matter so much and in fact can be stimulating. That he should throw himself into life of department and see what happens. That he could resume sporting activities which he likes so much. But I shudder when I think of him sad and without company -
Before teaching starts next week - should I be tentatively enquiring about refunds? Anyone else been in this kind of situation with their DCs? The postgrad year is very intensive - it's meant to be - but, but, but.
Quiet assurance and a listening ear is what I'm giving him so far. Should I be more proactive? The uni wouldn't talk to me about my DS but they might shed light on what happens to students who quit at this early stage. It would not be ideal and I think he should give it a go but I'm going to bed now with his sad little voice ringing in my head! Thanks for reading -
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Postgrad DS - to quit or persevere?
9 replies
Morven11 · 26/09/2014 00:25
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Messygirl ·
26/09/2014 16:27
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