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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

DD has gone so what shall I do now?

17 replies

Debs75 · 19/09/2014 14:53

Really what do you do with there rooms?

She was lucky and had her own room but that meant she was a lazy messy bugger. It needs a declutter and decorating but I don't want to do too much in case she feels I have moved her on.

What have you done when they went to Uni?

OP posts:

Kez100 · 19/09/2014 15:03

Ha! We had to clear out as we are having new windows fitted in the next couple of weeks. The obvious place to start was her room (and she understood that and is actually looking forward to it being refreshed for Christmas). Anyway, on the day we did it - two days after she left - we came out at the end to see her younger brother looking at his watch. "Ummmm" he said "I make that exactly 47 hours and 30 seconds!"

Had to laugh!

Isthiscorrect · 19/09/2014 16:24

I feel for you. We put ds on the plane at 5am on July 4th and his room was empty by noon, and the house was empty by 8pm :-( I'm heart broken and feel rootless. Not sure how ds feels about it, although he has much more to look forward than me lol.

BackforGood · 19/09/2014 16:29

Inour house, dd2 is planning to move in - ds has the biggest room, so fair enough.
It needs a major clear out and redecorate and then she can have it and he can have the little room when he's home.

ggirl · 19/09/2014 16:50

Dd comes back loads , xmas and summer and the odd weekend , I don't do anything to her room besides put clean bed linen on if guests need to use it.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 19/09/2014 17:00

Do you need the room yourself? As she isn't there full time now it seems silly for the room to sit empty during term time. You could use it as office space, storage space if the rest of the house is cluttered, a craft room or a guest room, etc.

If you're happy for it to remain her room then do you not think she'd appreciate a room update? A newly decorated and decluttered room to come back to sounds lovely to me.

GnomeDePlume · 19/09/2014 18:08

I took DD1 up to Nottingham this morning. DD2 will be sleeping in DD1's old bed tonight!

DD1 is moving into DD2's much smaller room for when she is back here.

Original poster

Debs75 · 19/09/2014 18:24

She has one of the smaller rooms so no one wants her room. When DD2 &3 get to the age where they argue one of them may decide to move in.

Kez when DP moved in with me his mum had cleared and redecorated his room into a craft room within a week of him going. He said he wouldn't move back home as she had picked godawful wallpaper

Isthis Have you all moved out the home? We recently moved to a bigger house and walking away felt very sad. If we had stayed she would have lost her bedroom as there me and DP shared with DD2 & 3 who were 2 and 4.

I was thinking of making it a guest room as she has a 3/4 bed. So far I have washed all the bedding, done a quick clean (it would take forever to deep clean it) packed up her dvd's and washed her dirty clothes. There are 400 books to catalogue and box up (she is very anal about her books), Then re paint, fix draughty windows, put up blinds and deep clean it, should be done by Christmas.

I think I would just to be able to open the door and see a clean welcoming room rather than the detritus we usually see.

OP posts:

thetimeisnow · 19/09/2014 19:12

I had this conversation with my dd earlier this week, we were hoping to move into her room and free up a downstairs room for an office/study. she went completely mad saying we were just trying to forget she ever existed and there would be nowhere for her to come back to (had explained we would be having a sofa bed in the office) apparently 'no one else ever' moves rooms around like we wanted to

in the end compromised on keeping it the same for a year so she can adjust but have 'her sanctuary' to come back to.

anyway, sounds like she's having fun now, but how did my newborn baby get to be at uni?!?!

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 20/09/2014 15:23

Took DD1 to university today, she's a first year.

She loves her bedroom at home and we'll keep it exactly as it is, except I'll do a big clean soon. She'll be back two or three times during the term and has said she'll look forward to sleeping in her own bed again.

We are fortunate enough to have a guest room so her room isn't likely to be needed for anything else.

thetimeisnow - I agree, how did my baby also get big enough? She'll be out in a strange city tonight with people I don't know. Surely she should be tucked up snuggly in her cot?!

Notsoskinnyminny · 20/09/2014 18:17

I waited a couple of weeks then braved blitzed DDs hovel room, whatsapping her before, during and after pics and found a mountain of missing plates and cultery. When it was finished 5 hrs later the cats moved in!

Apart from needing to wash her bedding it was immaculate when she went back this year living with messier flatmates taught her to clean and tidy up

Isthiscorrect · 20/09/2014 19:38

That's great Skinny, whatsapping pictures. How did she react? Lol.

Debs, yes we all moved out. DH is bored with work and was just waiting for ds to finish school and so we are ready to move to another country in the next few months. Probably between now and Christmas. Just when I thought I was going to settle down and enjoy a well earned rest. I would love to have stayed in the villa for longer and enjoy my beloved garden. He could have kept his room as well as we also had a guest room.

Still I have told dh we will have a bedroom for ds wherever we move to. I won't see him homeless, I think it's important for him to have some roots. Although I suppose after his free holiday to the sunshine to see us at Christmas he will have better offers with his new friends and work and all that stuff.

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 20/09/2014 22:38

When both girls had gone, we swapped rooms as they had the biggest! We redecorated and made the smaller room nice, and they have adjusted fine as they are rarely back at the same time anyway due to being a medical student and a nurse so very full on courses!

They are both now in their final years, and I doubt either will live at home again as they are planning to live together wherever DD1 gets her F1 doctor's post, but we will keep it as their room/guest room :)

AtiaoftheJulii · 21/09/2014 10:57

thetimeisnow I think I would have been (rightly or wrongly!) upset to be offered a sofa bed in an office too! That seems a step too far from having your own bedroom. Swapping around so their bedroom to return to is the smallest/worst seems fine though - that's what happened to me when I went off to university.

DD1 already has a small room that no one else will want (her choice entirely ), so I imagine that when she hopefully goes to university next year it will get tidied up but stay pretty much as it is, and can be used for single guests. DD2 may have her desk I suppose. DD2 has the biggest bedroom, so when she goes away (hopefully again) the year after that, then there will probably be some major jockeying for position

cricketballs · 21/09/2014 12:50

DS moved into the smallest room in the summer, his brother had to be in there for over 10 years, so it's only fair they swapped. It also got DS1 used to living in a small room.

Dropped DS off yesterday, cleaned his old room today, fresh bedding etc (it's not looked this clean since he swapped!)

fussychica · 23/09/2014 08:58

Just dropped DS off for final year - blitzed the room,restored it to a normal bedroom and it now looks like the rest of the house. Do miss him but don't miss his mess

Original poster

Debs75 · 23/09/2014 10:29

That's how I feel fussychica It is so quiet without her, no arguing about dirty clothes or dirty crockery. It is taking me a long time to realise that I don't have to leave the front door unlocked for her coming home each night. She has her first visit home end of October, so looking forward to seeing her again, the longest we had ever been apart was a long weekend

OP posts:

cricketballs · 23/09/2014 17:22

I've realised who was responsible for making the bathroom such a mess I had suspicions, but now have proof

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