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PhD PMT

41 replies

ocelot41 · 27/07/2014 20:10

Is it normal to feel a little emotionally weird on getting close to finishing a PhD? Work is going well but I just feel really tearful and insecure...and I don't know why. It is like having PMT but all the time!

Plus my supervisor ( who was always quite light touch) is now very, very light touch indeed. Just when I could do with a cheerleader! Has anyone been down this road and can advise?

OP posts:
msmoss · 01/08/2014 08:49

I don't know I think I could do with a bit more encouragement at the moment, really feel like just jacking it all in at the minute Sad

If I'm not going to be an academic then I really just wonder what is the point in this (other than having something other than my children to show for the last 4 years of my life). It's quite likely that having a PhD in my subject is probably going to hinder rather than help me get a 'real world' job. I just want this all to be over and I'm really struggling with motivation at the moment, I'm really, really not a self-starter and I just seem to spend my entire life procrastinating to the point at which both my work and my personal life are a disaster.

msmoss · 01/08/2014 08:51

Sorry for the self-pitying rant, I think I may have actual PMT as well as PhD PMT!!

ocelot41 · 01/08/2014 19:28

Oof. I have spent all week polishing the same 3000 words. Damn I am fed up with this. Why am I so sloooow?

OP posts:
chinamoon · 01/08/2014 22:12

ocelot, I was wondering why it's all soooo slow and then realised that after every sentence I am stopping and thinking: how can I prove this? Who can I quote to back this up or to say the opposite so I can refute it with my lame radically new research proposition?

And then there's all the hunting for the exact quote (especially those ones you 'remember' from before you were doing the phD, you know, when you were just genuinely interested in the subject Grin which turn out not to exist, or aren't in the book you thought they were in.
or you've typed ibid in some footnotes then added a few new sentences and refs and all the effin ibids are wrong.

Etc.

Wine.

(Been up since 5.30 trying to wrench 10k into shape for AP before I go away tomorrow as well as doing holiday packing and taking DS2 to a two long hospital appt. And am 500 words short so need to bring it with me on holiday after all. Sigh. But tbh deep down I am still really enjoying it and learning loads from it.

msmoss are you ending your second year now too? It's normal to have a total crisis of confidence sometime in yr2 isn't it? I thought it was one of the tickbox forms on your annual progression progress report:

Has the candidate demonstrated a cogent argument for why she is dimmer than a 10 watt bulb and unable to complete due to temporary setbacks of domestic, hormonal and procrastinatory nature?

Has she managed to blow these minor issues out of proportion, shown a capacity for drink heretofore unrecorded and demonstrated an ability to extrapolate in a drunken and miserable manner to her partner, fellow researcher or friend until the small hours why she is not cut out for her research question?

Has she decided upon a different project that would have effortlessly and imaginatively written itself if only she'd had the sense to spot it in year one and demand a change of direction?

If not please ask for an extension form so she can move onto this stage in a timely manner. Wink

Hang on in there. You'll be so proud of yourself when you're done.

msmoss · 01/08/2014 23:54

I do all of those daily Smile

I'm just finishing my third year, so heading into thesis-only very soon. I actually started over 4 1/2 years ago though due to babies. Did anyone else take a temporary withdrawal for maternity leave? From the odd barbed comment I get the impression, that long maternity leaves and academia don't really mix.

ocelot41 · 02/08/2014 07:41

Good to know I fulfil all your criteria Chinamoon! In terms of hunting for quotes - I know what you mean, I hate slowing down when I am writing to reference too - and then regret it. Then I found Zotero - one click and its done.Its magic!

Yes MsMoss I interrupted for mat leave - I have had mixed responses to be honest. At one interview panel a male prof demanded why I hadn't finished a book or two and a PhD during the time I had 'off' as I could have worked when DS was napping. I explained that my baby had been very sick and we had been in and out of hospital and he didn't really sleep - just screamed a lot ( all the time feeling pretty cross with myself for even answering the question). He then said that if I was REALLY ambitious I would have written at nights and weekends!!?

At a conference another male professor ( who I know does have kids) bought me a drink and said he thought I was bloody brilliant for managing to publish, work and do a PhD at the same time and academia needed more female researchers so to stick at it.

Guess who I would rather work with?

OP posts:
ocelot41 · 02/08/2014 07:51

Thinking about that a bit more actually - other than just generally being kind, balanced people ( and/or having some experience of what having young children actually MEANS) the senior academics I have found most supportive have all had quite progressive politics and work in fields which encourage thinking about that kind of stuff sociology, cultural studies, development etc risks outing self

OP posts:
chinamoon · 04/08/2014 20:25

Oh that first prof has me spitting teeth ocelot.

I do know someone who had a baby, published a book and got her PhD whilst looking after her PFB pre-schooler within the 3 year full-time period. She is also size 6 and just of another species from most. She's lovely too but I long ago stopped assuming she was the norm I should emultate.

mopsytop · 04/08/2014 23:05

I felt pretty low after I finished my PhD. Baby had just turned one. I meant to finish before having her but was v ill during pregnancy (hadn't even occurred to me that I'd need to factor that in!) so I ended up taking a term off during the pregnancy. I put my wee one in nursery two days a week aged 3.5 months (hardest thing ever) and handed in the day after she turned 1! Then big crash. It is very hard. You work your area off, finish, and are then faced with massively uncertain job market, huge pressure to publish .. but with no job hard to do new research to publish new stuff... So far all my articles are based on my PhD. So I think it is pretty normal to feel this way.

mopsytop · 04/08/2014 23:06

arse not area!

mopsytop · 04/08/2014 23:06

ocelot Hmm Hmm Hmm at that prof! What a tosser!

mopsytop · 04/08/2014 23:07

Also totally unprofessional. He shouldn't have even broached the subject in an interview situation.

mopsytop · 04/08/2014 23:10

chinamoon, at my uni, and at most I believe, you just submit whenever (usually within four years from starting a full time PhD nowadays) and have your viva roughly three months later (although that part varies). But there isn't usually a particular time you submit. Not that I'm aware of.

Msmoss · 06/08/2014 16:09

Sorry for not replying sooner I've been trying to avoid the place to get some work done Smile

That prof sounds like a total arse ocelot

msmoss · 06/08/2014 16:11

chinamoon there are people like that in all walks of life I think they're just motivated and confident. Two characteristics which sadly seem to be lacking for me.

toothlessoldhag · 09/08/2014 14:49

Hi OP I'm a long while post-doc, but I can assure you it's perfectly normal to feel low at this stage. I think it's the anti-climax of seeing the end in sight and expecting to feel somehow transformed into a confident professional researcher, rather than a nervy beginner who is about to be found out. Heard of Imposter Syndrome?

Anyway, there seem to loads of helpful people on here, but FWIW, I think this website and associated twitter account seems to have excellent advice: thesiswhisperer.com/,

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