Final year pressure

[countrysider]

Hello, my DS is in his final year at uni. He had a few problems with housemates last year which knocked his confidence. He has good friends at uni and is sharing with different people this year. He struggled with feelings of social anxiety and loneliness last term which affected his work. He has been to the Dr. since he came home for Christmas and has been feeling a bit better just being at home again. He still can't get motivated to get on with a major piece of work to be handed in at the beginning of term though. He usually works hard and gets good results. I don't know how to help him. Any ideas?

What did the doctor advise?

Innocently ask him to explain the work to you and hope that you can give him a bit of help in organising it?

Or

Suggest that he calls a friend on his course to give him someone to talk to about it?

The Dr tested him for depression and anxiety. He scored higher for anxiety. She gave him a prescription for anti depressants, which he doesn't want to take. She also advised him to do things like getting up early, which he has been doing.

I have been talking to him about the work. He says he can do it, and enjoys it when he can get down to it, the trouble is he just can't concentrate on it, he just feels too sad.

He has emailed his director of studies and the tutor he has to hand the work into who were both sympathetic. He needs a letter from our GP to state that he's been having these problems, and he might get an extension to the deadline. It's just hard to see what would make a difference to how he's feeling now so that he could get on better with the work and not be in such a low state when he goes back.

I understand his reluctance to take them, but sounds like the doctor is on the right track with ADs. Anxiety and depression can be very closely linked.

Perhaps he should try them for a while, at least until he can get some more counseling at uni.

I'd agree that he takes them for now, just to see if they do make an improvement. If they don't, after a set period of time, then he can come off them again under the supervision of the Dr.

Chances are they will make an improvement - on the one occasion I had to talk someone into going to a GP re depressoin, they started taking anti-depressants reluctantly but haven't voiced a desire to stop taking them again.

Why is he reluctant to take he anti-depressants? They really DO help, and they don't 'drug' you (ie. sleepy, dopey). I have taken them for 10 years - they make my mood 'normal', and without them I lack energy and motivation for almost everything.

Maybe suggest he does at least give these a go, or at least talks to the GP about why he doesn't want to take them?

Cognitive behaviour therapy helped my niece in a similar situation. Could ask about it in addition to drugs as time is ticking by? Anxiety was stopping her getting down to work though she was really worried about not getting down to it. Caution: sounds similar but of course that's my superficial view.

I would suggest he contacts the university counselling service. They are very experienced in working with students with these type of issues and can help students in the process of getting extensions etc.

But if he is really unable to work, then perhaps you should consider a leave of absence until he feels better.

Lots of students are reluctant to consider LOA, but it is often the best option. Much better to take some time out, restart when you are in a better place and get the classification of degree you deserve, than to try to stick it out and end up with either a much lower mark (or worst still, not even an honours degree at all).

We have a cohort of 100 students a year in my dept, and about 5% will take a LOA at some point. Some for health reasons, and some for things like maternity leave, bereavement etc. It is much more common than people think.

... very good advice from creamteas. Had no idea the numbers were so high - affected students tend to feel they're alone.

You are never alone....just frustrating that so few people talk openly about mental health.

Spot on Snakeoil and Creamteas.

Lots of students (esp boys) see it as a bit pathetic to have a MH problem and to have to ask for help, and they don't want to be seen as 'mad', 'hopeless' or 'weak', or any sort of 'non-achiever'. 1 in 3 people will have some sort of MH problem at some point of their lives. Tell him that's every third person he passes in the street ....

creamteas (I'm her/his evil twin) suggests LoA -- it's worth thinking about.

The other really practical advice is to take it one step a a time.

A long journey starts with one step ...

Maybe suggest to him that he breaks down this piece of work, bit by bit. I love doing the maths -- a 6,000 word essay can be written in 10 working days (a fortnight) by writing 600 words a day.