Pros and cons of commuting from home to Uni

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Pros & cons of commuting to Uni?
anyone's DC commuting from hone, or thinking of doing so?

DD1 (yr12) starting her search, saying she does not want to leave home. Not interested in the social side of things, just wants to get on with her course without distractions and keep her home comforts.

There ate several choices within an hour
commute, similar to my work journey, so realistic from transport point of view.
Although may not be the most suitable courses for her.

Pros I can think of are cost savings and no risk of homesickness.
Cons are missing out on student life, travelling more than necessary, less likely to study at home.

We are starting our visits soon, looking further afield to begin with,

I think access to tutors and availability of resources could be an issue but not insurmountable.
Also if there are any last minute changes to timetables she could miss out on tutorials or left hanging around campus. Having said that, some students living in the same city as their uni ciuld take an hour to get to campus depending on public transport.

Does your DD really want to go to uni or is there another route to obtain the qualifications she needs? I always think uni is as much about learning to live independently as it is about getting a degree.

If she stays for the first year in Halls she will make friend's and learn life lessons. Then she can move back home in year two

Deepfried that wouldnt be an option as for any Unis that are commutable, she would be classed as too close to get a place in halls.

gallcgirl she wants to study music. Performance as wrel as academic, but she doesnt want to be a performer. Probably wants to teach. The obvious way that leaves most options open is to take a music degre at a good university.

Another Con to consider ; depending upon her current friends, she could find herself without any friends at home during term time as well as having more trouble making friends at uni. I trained as a nurse in the days before nursing degrees and so would come home during term and it was pretty lonely even for a weekend as all my friends were at uni.
Are you sure about not getting a place in halls ? vast majority of unis are really strong on this for first year - worth double checking when you make your visits.
also I wouldn't discount the cost of commuting. also what about transporting her instrument ? what does she play ?
If she does go down the Music teaching route, she'll need a PGCE and there are fewer places that offer this variety of PGCE so she'll have to move (unless you happen to live near one obviously)

Things have changed dramatically over the last few years and significant numbers of students are now living at home at all universities. It is no longer seen as unusual even at RG universities, especially those in major cities.

Some local students will not engage socially at university, but that is usually when their friends are still living locally anyway. Those that want to make new friends, tend to do so.

As to learning life lessons, it is perfectly possible to make your children responsible for their own lives without leaving home! You just have to charge them rent and stop cooking, washing and cleaning up after them

The life experience.

Get that umbilical cut.

I didn't want to leave home when push came to shove. I actually lay in bed sobbing the day that my parents drove me to Manchester. I was coldly determined to stay a week or so, drop out, and go to my nearest university the following year.

26 years on, and those 4 yrs were still the best, the absolute best ever.

There were 2 or 3 kids on our course who lived in Manchester and came in for classes only. Never got to know them. Never saw them pissed at university dos. Never had a coffee with them during a free period. They didn't come to grad ball. Nada. They came, they studied, they left.

At the end of the day however, your dd has to be the one to make her own decision. I wouldn't try and influence her either way.

There were 2 or 3 kids on our course who lived in Manchester and came in for classes only. Never got to know them. Never saw them pissed at university dos. Never had a coffee with them during a free period. They didn't come to grad ball. Nada. They came, they studied, they left

And as long as they were happy with this, then what is the problem?

University is not the same as it was 20 or 30 years ago. The idea that it was a rite of passage in which people the social life is as, or even more, important as the degree no longer works.

Young people are now paying a huge amount of money to attend, and employers want a whole lot more than a degree certificate. Whether or not this is right is another argument, but it does mean that the experiences of students has had to change significantly as well.

One of my DDs had similar opinions to OP's DD at this stage in year 12 and didn't even think she wanted to look at other Unis. We said it would be her choice but we did insist she look at all possibilities. DD is now in her first term at a Uni on the other side of the country, living in halls and will not be home till Christmas! She isn't a party animal but has managed to find similar types to herself and is enjoying it.

It wasn't until she actually visited the universities and looked at the courses and accommodation that she realised she would rather go somewhere else. At the beginning of year 12 I would never have believed she would be where she is now. However, if your DD does choose to attend her local Uni then I am sure she will be fine.

My best friend from 30 years ago travelled daily while I lived at Uni Poly. Even though we only really socialised in the day we were great friends, quite alike, and remain so.

What matters is that the student is happy with the situation. I know I would have been but couldn't stay home because there were no Unis on my doorstep.

There are still a number of options. Firstly don't discount the idea of halls for the first year. Ds is 20 miles from home and still qualified for a place in halls. Secondly, she could live at home for the first year and then move into a student house/flat for years 2 and 3 if she wanted to. Thirdly, I agree with others that a lot can change in 18months - ds wasn't at all sure he wanted to go to university at all in year 12. He is now in his first year, living in halls and loving life.

I commuted and now I regret it - I do feel that I have missed out on the student experience. My own DS is looking at unis within an hours commute as he wants to be close enough to be able to get home easily (think this is more to do with his washing!) but he is away.

As a last resort, he is putting our local uni on his list (we are lucky enough that they do the course/subject he wants to do) but I will be encouraging him to move away even though it will cost us a lot to support him as he will not get enough to support him through the maintenance loan so he has the experience

DPotter Good point about the friends, doubt she has discussed this yet. Not seeing as much of her close friends as changed schools for 6th form.

If commuting, most likely to be central London, Had the impression most C.London Unis only guaranteed accommodation to those outside the M25.
Travelling would be over £2k a year, as 18+ Oyster only available if you live in a London Borough.
Even if she did get accommodation in London, not sure how affordable it would be - ie City is between £185 and £299 per week! And she wouldn't be entitled to any bursary.

Creamteas Understand re the independence. She can cook anyway (better than I can lol). But not sure the value in charging rent if she needs to get into extra debt in order to pay it to us. We were thinking if she did live at home, for her to get a loan just for the course fees. Her food and board won't be costing any more than it does now, and an agreed part of money saved that is currently going on music school fees etc. could be given to her as an allowance for her to manage.

Agree with everyone that says things can change a lot in the next year or so.
And it definitely must be her choice, my job is just to make sure she knows all her options and chooses the course that suits her best, for the right reasons.

She is quite looking forward to open days at some of the larger campus Unis, but at the same time is also a bit worried she may fall in love with a place and not know what to do.

cricketballs The local choice sound like a good idea.
DD1 has already thought about having a commutable option, with lower end entry requirements, at least as an insurance choice.
She hates the idea of the uncertainty about the accommodation if she were to go away.
Already worried about what would happen in yr2 and hates the thought of having to find a flat share or sharing a bathroom with people she doesn't know.
I do feel for her, as although had places back in the day,decided not to go at the last minute and took a job with part time study instead. That career never lasted, wouldn't say I regretted not going away, but often wonder 'what if'.

DS stayed at home and I do/did feel he missed out on the social side of uni but he's not a party animal and many of his friends commuted as we've 5 good unis within an hour's commute and most of us were caught in the trap of earning too much for them to qualify for loans but not really having the spare cash to fund their accommodation.

DD's not a party animal either but was adamant she was going away and because of the limited availability of her course had no choice but she's hating living in halls and we've had a rollercoaster of emotions for the last 6 weeks. She's 40 miles away so could commute but the 9am start would mean leaving the house at 6.30 and I'd have a 10 mile round trip to get her to a station with a direct train.

More importantly, DS and his friends don't feel they've missed out.

My best friend at university lived at home and she certainly didn't miss out on the social stuff at all!!!

I must admit that I absolutely hated living in halls - it was noisy, disruptive and it felt like you never had any real privacy. Living out in second year was pretty traumatic too with dodgy landlords, rats and very, very dodgy neighbours.

I think more and more teenagers will be commuting in the future to save money and I don't think they will be missing out on anything.

With regards to halls being noisy, is it acceptable for musicians to practice in their rooms?

is it acceptable for musicians to practice in their rooms?

Not usually in my experience, although this might be different at a conservatoire.

Unlikely to be a conservatoire, though not 100% ruled out.

Something she will have to add to her list of questions for campus visits.

They may have practice rooms available, but it's certainly something to ask.

DS has just moved out this summer after two years commuting. There were pros and cons to being at home. Obviously home comforts are nice, but the time spent commuting and the difficulty in socialising outweighed them in the end so he is now sharing a flat with a friend.

But the important thing is for her to choose what she thinks will work for her, then be flexible later if she wants to change!

Not quite sure why posters here seem to think you need to be a party animal to live in a hall?!! Students from all walks of life and social preferences live in halls and those doing all sorts of courses too. In my view young people do need to get out of their comfort zone and live with others and tolerate others too! A campus university is just like a big school really! If DS likes music why not go somewhere where there is loads of music going on? Like another city with a good concert hall or two and plenty of touring bands etc. Also musicians meet up with other musicians. Going home all the time will hamper musical friend making. Also, most people do not commute. They go away, organise themselves, make friends and grow into mature young people who think for themselves. University is not just about the course, it is about a way of life! (And not one with Mum and Dad)!

It's a long way from you but has she looked at Durham? The smaller colleges don't have big halls, you all live in in first year and if you pick the right college it's small, friendly, quiet if you want it to be.. No huge disruptive halls etc

My son went to a local uni and lives at home . He is in his 3rd year now ,he's made lots of friends ,kept his pt job and will finish his degree debt free and with a large savings pot . Fortunately he drives so getting there has never been an issue . The uni he goes to was quite highly rated for the course he wanted so no compromise there .

ds also attends local uni.the friend thing is a slight issue sometimes but he didn't really partake in social life at college so didn't feel the need to go away to uni for that.he has thought over his first yr (now in his 2nd) about moving out for this yr but when he visited a friends place he really wasn't comfortable with it all.i agree this will become more common in the future due to cost issues and also because dcs have so much freedom and independence these days they just don't feel the need to break free.

We chatted a bit about the friend thing last night and it hadn't really crossed her mind. Also, her life would nit be the same ad it is now, as local ensembles and Saturday music school would stop,wehich is a big chink of her social life.
So far has not had a part time jiob, only 16 in summer and Satudsay work never viable in term time anyway. But if she had, would give her another reason to stay.

Vanitas I'm sure she did look at the course at Durham, but dismissed it for some reason. If not course flexibility or requirements, would have been on distance, or most importantly her instrument choice. From what we know so fat, best choices for her instrument are Birmingham, York or Leeds. Possibly Southampton or City. Acceptable at KCL but doubt she would get the academic grades, and not Oxbridge standard. Obviously any of the London Conservatoires or Birmingham Conservatoire too.
Need to start contacting some admissions to clarify on instrument. Also unclear on preferred A level subjects, as some prefer an essay subject which she won't have.

"AMumInScotland* I wish she could find something flexible, but cannot see how. Apart from Central London, There doesn't seem to be anywhere with the right course that is easily commutable, should she decide to live there and change her mind or vice versa. And don't see how she could afford to live in London hals, even if she was eligible. And just imagine paying 10k+ for accommodation that she decides not to stay in as it's to easy to get home.

I work for a university and it is a bit of a cliche that all students are social animals, party mad etc. In a course like music especially you get a lot of students who's main focus is their study, and their extra curricular activity is based around their instruments too. They can make very intense friendships with their course mates.

I would suggest looking at smaller universities, maybe in a more rural / seaside / small town location. They tend to attract more laid back students.

I think learning to house share, deal with landlords etc is a huge life skill. Unless she will be able to afford to rent or buy her own place straight after Uni it's probably a good idea to go through that learning curve.