Hi everyone,
I just need advice on that really. I'm 27, nearly 28 and have been off work for two and a half years, signed off on ESA for chronic depression. Have been living with my mum for two years since my last (possibly EA, definitely awful for my mental health) relationship ended. the relationship left me with very little self-confidence and trying to find a job in the last half a year of it (shop work etc) and not even getting one interview didn't help either. I read a lot on here about financial security for oneself and I want to be financially independent and not on benefits.
The Short Version
I'm thinking about uni now but have so many doubts and am very overwhelmed at the thought, plus worry I lack motivation, and cannot decide whether I should try for an Art course (where my heart lies but not sure what I could do with after) or a Psychology degree (which has more prospects [I think?] but I'm not sure I'm capable of doing that many essays, they were never my strong point). Basically just thinking and talking about it scares the shit out of me
More information (Aka the long version)
I have a lovely boyfriend of one year who got a degree in engineering when he was 29 after going straight to uni and then dropping out at 18/19 and he has inspired me into thinking about going to uni. Thing is, when I was doing A-levels I was in a really abusive relationship at a boarding school, which was really intense (seeing each other whenever we had free time) and tbh I was pretty immature then and tended to leave everything til the last minute, then do as little as possible to get by. I got two D's and a C for A-level, not great at all. My boyfriend at the time convinced me I didn't need to go to uni (he wasn't, and didn't want me to either, because we were going to get married and have babies) and stupidly I listened. Then of course we broke up when we finished school, and I was devastated. I got a job working as a waitress for a bit but hated it, left and got a job in a shop for six years. I was ok with that then as I just wanted to have fun etc. and was still living at home so didn't have to worry as much about bills etc.
Basically I wasn't thinking about my future at all then and made bad choices. Now I see my best friend getting a degree and landing a good job (she's a bit younger than me) and regret just 'making do' when I could have been learning. I did a college course in foundation art to get me on my feet, two years ago for one year. I did pretty well despite having to miss three months of it to go into an experimental residential treatment centre, three distinctions and the rest merits/passes, and tutors told me I have potential. Thing is being 27 I feel 'too old', my self confidence is on the floor, I worry I'd fail, or be overwhelmed by work and I can't decide if I should try for an art-based degree or a psychology degree. I find psychology interesting because I have MH problems (and to an extent feel quite 'different' to 'normal' people, and am intrigued by what makes people tick) but art as a whole is/was what I love, i have lots of ideas, although I haven't done much recently because motivation is rare
and couldn't choose a specific medium which I know you have to do at uni.
I have no idea what I want to do or become in life and never have (except I knew I wanted to be a pole dancer at 15
I always just thought one day I would suddenly see a career path I fancied but it hasn't happened. I just know I would like to make something of myself.
GAHHH if anyone could give me advice or anything I would be so grateful.