Looking for the helpful Cambridge admissions tutor who posted a while age..

[seeker]

......if you're around, could I ask a couple of questions, please?

That's true yellow but you know how some parnets are. Particularly middle class ones .

To be fair I do think it all stems from a good place. These parents love their DC and want the very best for them. But they can't keep it in perspective!

I also find that some parents can be very delusional about their DC's talents. Yes, we're all hard wired to find the wonderfulness of our own DC, but it should be balanced with a good dose of realism, I think. Especially by the time our DC are teens.

But thishappens in all areas, not just academia. You wanna spend some time at the sports sidelines to hear real delusion! And don't get me started on the stage mammas!

I studied Philosophy at Emmanuel College. Derek Matravers is the Philosophy Fellow, and he was really good when I was there. He never taught me though - in lectures or in supervisions (tutorials) because I didn't take his subject (Aesthetics), so I don't think that picking a college based on the Fellows is necessarily the way forward. Emmanuel is a fantastic college though (we have ducks!) and they interview everyone who has a realistic chance of getting a place.

I would completely agree with JustGive about struggling academically though. I'd always been easily the cleverest at my comprehensive, and while I loved Cambridge because I met people like me, I did find it really hard being the bottom of the class there.

I think seeker said her daughter's results at GSCE weren't brilliant in the context of the school so she's probably used to not being seen as the brightest one around. She may need something confidence boosting to encourage her before interview. I know nothing about philosophy but maybe something like this would get her talking about it? www.debatechamber.com/summerschools/philosophy-summer-school/

The open university lists a summer school course but the link is broken. Student comment part way down here css2.open.ac.uk/resschools/StudentExperience.aspx

Even is she decided not to apply this sort of thing might interest other universities.

Her philosophy teacher might know of something, although searching the Student Room and mumsnet might give you more ideas

already - yeah, that part may not apply, but while I loved my time at Cambridge and don't regret it at all, I did wonder whether I might have done better academically if I wasn't always playing catch up.

cornflakegirl it is difficult to know, when your teenager expresses interest in applying, whether they will be playing catch up or if they will thrive on the style of teaching. We thought long and hard about whether we should encourage or discourage an application, about teaching styles, about how our teen responded when they weren't the brightest one around, about how they might handle rejection and if the type of place would suit them. Of course our views would have little impact anyway but we tried to get our teen to see beyond the hype and think about those things themselves.

Even if you would had done better academically elsewhere academic success isn't everything in life.

She is predicted to get very good A levels, and she is a good student- I don't think she would be "playing catch up" too much. And even if she was- you can't always be top of the class, can you? Somebody has to be bottom!

Yellow, Word- wise words. I am constantly amazed by the level of interfering some parents think is appropriate. Perhaps I am just the most lax mother ever. Word - IIRC your DD is in a show at the moment, yes? The level of theatre/dance mums you must be encountering must be extreme. It's bad enough here with DD2s limited activities.

I'd always far rather be with a peer group of people cleverer than myself than be some little queen bee in a duller pond. I've never understood the attraction in that. None of the DC do either thankfully or they wouldn't be in the places they are now. The company of interesting people (where the same proportion are likely to be nice as in the less interesting crowd) is a huge bonus in life.

Also, lots of brilliant people don't think they are. It's normally the stupid ones who do.

Yellowtip - that's not really the choice on offer though. I'm sure I wouldn't have been easily top of the class if I'd gone to one of the many excellent universities that aren't Oxford or Cambridge.

Well then cornflake if you take alreadytaken's approach, you'd have had to consider going significantly down the pecking order of universities in order to be sure to feel good about yourself.

I'd love to be Queen Bee anywhere! Dull pond or in the company of the elite. It's never happened yet; it must be a great feeling

In all seriousness though, it is a struggle for some people who are used to being considered 'bright' to then find themselves struggling. I know you may find this odd Yellowtip but I found it hard to adjust from the surroundings of a northern comprehensive school to the architecturally and historically breathtaking buildings I found myself studying in.

it's a bit of an assumption that brilliant, clever people are also the interesting ones though isn't it? I'm sure it's never as clear cut as that.

I so hope that's true junebeetle

That isn't what I said, yellowtip. In another leading university with longer terms and different teaching styles cornflake might have done better or worse academically. I'm certainly aware of students who have been rejected from Oxbridge and obtained or are on track for first class degrees at other leading universities while their friends who secured a place do not get the coveted first. Cornflake probably compares herself to peers who were of similar standard at school and wonders who got the better result.

If Oxbridge dented cornflake's confidence that can influence academic results and may have far more impact in later life. Academic success counts for little after the first few years in most occupations, confidence continues to be important.

I am sure the contacts made at Oxford will be of use to you throughout your life but interesting people can be found everywhere. If you wish to consider the proportion that are "nice" it does depend on your definition or nice. It is arguable that the proportion is lower at Oxbridge than elsewhere.

It's difficult for seeker's daughter, or for seeker, to know how the girl will do at university where so many other factors become important but it would be wrong to assume that she will be bottom of the class. She may be inspired to overtake the others. As she has done better in the sixth form than at GSCE it suggests she is the type to be inspired/work harder rather than having her confidence dented.

It is also important to remember that getting a couple of Bs at GCSE is not an indicator of being thick- even if the Mumsnet constituency would so indicate!

Oxford and Cambridge Firsts are almost universally acknowledged to be harder won than other Firsts alreadytaken. Ditto their 2.1s. They're harder currency.

I only stuck in the bit about 'nice' people so that I didn't get a flood of complaints about how being clever doesn't make you nice da de da. You claim it's arguable that Oxford and Cambridge arguably have less nice people attending them overall and I'd claim that that would be an utterly pointless argument to try to sustain.

Am I the only person who thinks this is all incredibly previous? No harm in sussing out options of course, but surely it's as wise to wait for AS results. Predictions != grades achieved. Especially this year.

There are five year olds being shown around Oxford quads as we speak Russians.

To be fair Bs in the context of Y11 exams in a decent grammar is a bit average seeker, sorry. But obviously her predictions are excellent and the AS results should be able to indicate the likelihood of her making those grades.

already - agree 100% again

seeker - I don't think anyone is suggesting your dd is thick - and her results clearly indicate otherwise. Just that, while you fully encourage her in her Oxbridge application (assuming AS grades are as expected), remember that Oxbridge isn't the be all and end all, or even the best place for everyone to fulfil their academic potential. (But it is fantastic and I would absolutely encourage my kids to apply if they had a chance of getting in.)

Well that's just mad. And those parents should be ashamed.

alreadytaken all four of mine are more confident, not less confident, through being at Oxford. So how does that work?

Also I think you make a mistake in the idea of 'coveted' Firsts. By no means everyone covets a First.