Newly single parent, want to make something of myself, help desperately needed please!

[PiscesLondon]

Hi everyone,

This might be a bit long winded but please bare with me. I so need some help & advice.

Ex left me and our daughter towards end 2012, I was (still am) heartbroken. He was the earner in the relationship, he brought in a great wage and owned the property we lived in, plus another that he rents out. Since he decided family life wasn't for him, he has only seen daughter a handful of times and has been transferring £200 a month into my account for her. After 10 years together i'm still numb I work part time self employed as a holistic therapist, on a good week I'll earn £100, some weeks very little or more often than not, nothing. I studied so hard for my level 3 Diploma in Complementary therapies, lots of anatomy & physiology involved, basically I thought I could make a good career out of it, but that doesn't look to be the case. I feel so sad that I wasted all that time training.

Anyway, I'm on my own now and am left to support myself and my daughter. I've had to move in with my Mum as I can't afford a place of my own comfortably. I feel like I'm stuck in a benefit trap as I rely so heavily on working tax & child tax credits. I had a really good education & was very academic and I can't believe my life has ended up like this. However, I'm only 28 and I believe there's time to change things. Thing is, I'm not sure where to start?

I've always had a strong interest in counselling & psychology (as well as holistic therapies) but I'm frightened of repeating the mistake I've already made, ie: training in something that doesn't bring much of a wage in, in the end. I feel as though in my late 20's I can't afford to make that mistake again. If anyone has any idea of the career opportunities for counsellors or psychologists can you please let me know? I'd love to work freelance alongside my holistic therapies but don't know if that's possible in these fields.

More importantly, I know nothing about university, it looks to me that particularly under this new government, you just end up in a heap of debt. I also have no A levels, after my GCSE's I went straight to drama school, yet another regret. I'm thinking maybe open university would be a better option, but again I've not looked into it too much, as I've only had this epiphany this week!! Are the entry requirements/fees and everything the same as normal university? Do you get the same sort of degree at the end?

Apologies for all the questions, I'm just so lost, I thought he & I would be together forever, what was his was mine etc... I feel like a failure because I'm barely making ends meet & relying heavily on tax credits, I need things to change in order to properly support myself and my daughter. As you can imagine, living with my mum forever is not ideal!

Occupational therapy is a fab idea- a great national shortage, good job too and very family friendly

titchy aaah right, I thought January was deadline. Will have to have a good think and if I can decide on something, then maybe I can start this year.

funnyperson I don't know much about occupational therapy, will do some research. Is it something you can do on a self employed/freelance basis?

January is the official deadline. But it is not unusual to get applications later, and most unis will still make offers if there are places.

Why the desire to do something freelance? Surely if you're looking for a career that will support and keep your child's life stable you'd want to be employed with some job security? OT could be perfect given the nhs is a big employer and they offer decent terms and prospects.

creamteas I'll give the uni a ring tomorrow & double check entry requirements and also if the course is full.

titchy what you're saying makes sense, I guess it's just because I don't want to fully give up on the acting & holistics. I worked really hard to gain the qualifications I have & they are passions of mine. I guess if I were freelance I could combine them all. If it didn't work out I could always go into employment. The truth is my holistics is earning me very little, but I'm hoping it will pick up at some point, I've only been working since last summer when I qualified. I don't want to waste it, but I know I need something more, something that offers stability.

I've been looking into physiotherapy as well. The fees are wavered for the physiotherapy & occupational therapy courses!! No debt!! I just don't want to jump into it because it's free, I need to be sure I'll enjoy it and there's good prospects.

Don't suppose there's any physiotherapists/occupational therapists about to tell me more?

Your benefits wouldn't be affected by your student status until you started university and were receiving student finance instead.

Having done a back-of-the-fag-packet calculation it seems you should be eligible for
Tuition fee loan £9000 per year (you never see this money)
Maintenance loan £5500 per year
Special support grant £3354 per year
Childcare grant 85% of childcare costs up to £148.75 per week www.gov.uk/childcare-grant
Parents learning allowance £1508 per year www.gov.uk/parents-learning-allowance

That's £10,362 plus up to £7735 in childcare costs plus the tuition fee loan. Broadly speaking that's equivalent to the sort of money that you would be earning full time on minimum wage after tax, but you don't have to pay childcare costs (well, only 15% of the total). You also won't have to pay council tax as you'll be a full time student.

There are also some benefits that you can get as a student - I know that universal credit is going to come in but this can be legitimately used as a guide www.turn2us.org.uk/?page=19668

There's some info on universal credit here but it would appear that not all the info is in the public domain as yet www.turn2us.org.uk/universalcredit
You might like to try asking on this forum as they tend to know the system very well forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=139

Forgot to add that you would also get a bursary from the university. I don't know which uni you're looking at, but these are the details for Liverpool (as an example) www.liv.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/finance/liverpool-bursary.htm

NB always take cash over a tuition fee discount, as you're much more likely to actually benefit from it (many people won't pay off their full loan, hence they won't benefit from the tuition fee discount).

boomting wow! You're a proper fountain of knowledge, I can't thank you enough. Is all of that re-payable? (I know the fees are, but what about everything else you mentioned?) So rather than receiving universal credit, I'd receive all those things you listed instead? I can't believe the fees are wavered in occupational therapy & physiotherapy, seems too good to be true.

When you said about previously learning physiology and anatomy, I was going to say physiotherapy.

Look into recruitment though, as there was a time recently when they funded lots of physiotherapists to get trained, more than there were jobs for, and I think that it is very difficult to get onto an occupational therapy course. (in terms of competition) I think you really need to get some specific advice. I'm sure if you phone the admissions department of your local university, the people are really knowledgeable and will be able to help you find the information you need.

Good luc!

Only the tuition fee loan and the maintenance loan are repayable. The rest of it is 'free money' so to speak.

There are slightly different arrangements for students on NHS funded courses, and the details are here (I would give you a run down, but I'm not entirely au fait with NHS funding) www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/students

A slight curve ball perhaps, but have you thought about social work? More (attempting to!) sort out people's problems than just listening to them, but last I heard they were crying out for social workers. It's an NHS funded degree too, so no fees to pay.

Probably ought to add that an immediate priority should be determining what the entrance requirements are for the university(s) you wish to attend, if they require evidence of recent study, and if so how could you provide that evidence (Access course? OU module? Ask them!)

Before I forget, many universities have accommodation that is specifically for students with their own children, or who are married, often referred to as family halls. If you were to want to move out of your mum's place, and particularly if you were to find a course outside of commutable distance, then they would be worth looking into.

The advantage of them is that they are designed for student couples and families, bills are inclusive, and universities are always good landlords (more than can be said for the private rented sector!)

I can't believe how helpful you are all being, these are for you

I'm going to ring the uni's tomorrow & gather some more information. I need to take some time to decide and do plenty of research, so it will be September 2014 before I start. But if I need to do an access course I can hopefully do that this year.

I just hope the government doesn't change things so that I can't afford to go.