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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Sons complete fail CCD

22 replies

hollolew2 · 16/08/2012 17:59

Shocked to be honest he messed up his June A2's with u's A's ok he thinks he wants to ho out to work all his friends will be going to uni in September he hasn't worked doesn't want to re-sit or go to uni now just don't know what to do! I've always had to nag him to work so to be honest better he didn't just scrap through cos he probably would have been home within a year just flabbergasted!

OP posts:

eatyourveg · 16/08/2012 18:53

Sorry to hear your ds didn't get the grades he wanted. Do you think he needs time out and will come round to the idea of uni in a few days after seeing his friends who will all be talking about going off to uni? My ds hit me with the I don't want to go to uni last night and we talked until gone 2am about what he proposed doing. He doesn't really have any realistic plans but I'm trying to support him. Thankfully he got his firm choice and he has deferred which gives him an extra year to work out how he feels about going.

Would your son consider looking at clearing places? Somewhere normally asking for BBC may take him. There seem to be quite a few students who have missed their grades but been accepted as unis who want to fill their places and get the income that comes with the tuition fees.

Have a look at www.notgoingtouni.co.uk/ which may give him some ideas of what else he could do and it also has a jobs section.

Original poster

hollolew2 · 16/08/2012 19:10

We decided not to look at clearing and take a breath my nephew missed his offer last year and took resits and a gap year really successfully . I think as I may have mentioned before he's not the best student it's either As or Us so I think he's really gonna have to change his ways. He just said what will I be missing partying? I don't even drink! Well that's true just stuck my head round the bedroom door he's fast asleep quite night for him while his GF and all his friends will be painting the town red. I've been ok but I've spoken to do many friends whose kids are off and they have been so sweet it's started me off bawling! Thankyou so much for the link so kind of you if anyone has any more ideas please let me know xx

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MelanieSminge · 16/08/2012 19:19

but that is not a 'complete fail', it's a CCD.
maybe he could go next year. maybe he doesn't want to go?
In all honesty he might be better off doing some other kind of training or work experience,university is no guarantee of success or employment anyway.
Please don't let him know that you think he is 'complete fail'.

Original poster

hollolew2 · 16/08/2012 19:32

Well unfortunately at his highly academic school that is trying to keep as calm as possible it's all a bit raw at the moment I think he just needs a little bit of time out I know that time is on his side so we will see .

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WhiteRosesAreNice · 16/08/2012 19:34

I was in your position a few years ago. DS got BCU and did not go to Uni. I was gutted. it was fine. He got a job with a bank and in 2 years has been promoted 4times and is working with, and been promoted, over many graduates. He is actually ahead of many of his mates who have Uni debt and no guarantee of a job at the end of it.

It is their attitude to their future that is important. DS was determined to prove himself and that attitude showed through.

I am sure he would have spent his Uni years in the bar so actually the initial disappointment would probably have been nothing compared to the disappointment, debt, and not brilliant degree if he had gone.

Try not to worry I am sure he will one good in the end.

MelanieSminge · 16/08/2012 19:42

I can imagine how you feel, hollo, if he has been at that kind of school, but try not to worry too much, what whitrosesarenice said about her son above.....

nulgirl · 16/08/2012 19:45

I know it must be upsetting but please don't think that he has messed up his life completely. I got CCD (after being predicted ABB) and thought that was it. I decided to take a year to work. I then did a "lesser" course which offered a sandwich year in industry. I met my future mentor who offered me a really well paying contract. By the age of 25 I was earning £400 per day.

Life can work in mysterious ways. If he doesn't want to go to uni them that is probably a smart decision these days with the huge student debts.

What does he want to do instead? Does he have a plan and any connections to help him get on the ladder?

Original poster

hollolew2 · 16/08/2012 20:39

Thankyou White it's early days we will sit down and chat in the next couple of days when we're a bit more out of the emotional wringer.
Thankyou Melanie. X
Nulgirl he had already discussed an internship with a sports management company so he's emailed them as they instructed him, he's got in touch with an old friend who left school at 17 and is working at a sport agency ( my sons a great athlete been in lots of completions etc hence the interest )and he went for a part time job interview last week which he's waiting to hear back from so fingers crossed that something lands!

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drcrab · 16/08/2012 20:48

As an academic who teaches both undergrads and postgrads... I wouldn't worry too much about not going to Uni. I understand there's a lot of pressure especially if he's from an academic school and all his mates are doing high brow academic subjects at Russell group universities.

If he's really into sports and sport management I would suggest he pursues this option actively with his contact. Do as much as he can - if it's part time that fine. The rest of his time can be spent doing courses related to this job or other activities that are related to the job.

If he proves himself his management company will want to send him away to do more relevant courses or degrees to develop him.

I know a few adults in their 30s and 40s in managerial positions without having completed much education. And they've received MBAs from v good universities because they brought with them 20 years of managerial experience.

It's all doable. Really.

Original poster

hollolew2 · 16/08/2012 21:21

Thankyou Drcrab even when we went to visit his firm uni they stated that they like a student with a gap year ( they are more mature) . We had a bit of a plan B but I want to try and give him the space to make that decision his school phoned him to ask if he needed help with the application process and he explained that he wasn't this year as he was having a re- think . They also asked what we thought. Thankyou for the sound advice just everyone presumes its uni or dole queue now adays.

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drcrab · 16/08/2012 21:33

No worries. It is a worrying time. I was panicking in march about my son's entry to reception year!!!

I think what we will see in the next decade or so is a return to more internships, apprenticeships and the like. Of course there will be people going to universities. But just as valid will be people going down the study part time work part time route.

There are jobs like architecture for eg that have both routes. Full time study, and part time study (1-2 days a week, work the rest of the week in an architecture practice). I dare say there are advantages to both scenarios but the latter probably more relevant these days with scarcity of jobs etc. the latter gives both work experience, taster into what real work is like and allows application of study almost immediately once you leave the classroom. - nothing wrong with that.

Original poster

hollolew2 · 17/08/2012 06:02

Been up all night fretting ( I know no ones died ) I'm gonna try and calm down now and stop. He's been blindly going on at school not doing any work for years now it's come back to bite him he's acting very calmly and looking into options but tells me obviously he hasn't made any decisions yet. I need to not let my fear take the better of me and leave him to it for a couple of days. My daughter who just graduated with a 2:1 and lots of great work experience can't find a job also so I know first hand about prospects .she suggest some people he could talk to. In the meantime I just need to calm down .

OP posts:

sashh · 17/08/2012 06:21

Calm down, yes that's a good idea.

I had no intention of going to uni, I wanted to leave at 16 and work, my parents wouldn't listen so I wasted two years of my life being miserable in VI Form. Then I failed spectacularly, so that there was no way I could be forced to go to uni.

He is not your daughter. He does not have to go to uni. He seems to be proactively looking for a career without uni and good luck to him. He sounds mature and sensible, you should be proud of him.

Losingitall · 17/08/2012 06:36

This happened to me (cough). 25 yrs ago.
I got a job went to night school have had a great career earn well.

I promise you it's not the end of his world!

Original poster

hollolew2 · 17/08/2012 07:06

Thanks guys this formerly ( hopefully) overbearing mother ( maybe not that bad) hopes to take a step back ! But if anyone has any other advice it's greatly appreciated .

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broodyandpoor · 17/08/2012 09:00

I got bad grades first time round D,E,U and it took a few of years of working on minimum wage jobs, then having 20 year old graduates come into my workplace and boss me around, to make me go back to college and apply for uni, it has to be realised intrinsically, for some people (stubborn ones like me!)
My dad did not support me financially and I got into a few messes I realised then that if I wanted a better life I would have to study.
Try not to support him too much financially.

Original poster

hollolew2 · 17/08/2012 16:59

Yes broody your right about the financial aspect. DS has busied himself with updating his CV and has spoken to a recruitment company who run a training scheme for non graduates who supply personnel to the sports and leisure trade we also had a chat about his results and decided that IF he wanted to re-sit he could but would have to over a year which would take a lot of self discipline.plus he'd still have to earn money. Do all feeling more positive today plus the fact that quite a few of his friends will be re-sitting do he has a bit of company. Any input still greatly appreciated .

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MelanieSminge · 17/08/2012 18:11

well I went to uni and have been grateful that I can earn a few more quid an hour.
my bro left school at 15 and is now a millionaire......

mumblechum1 · 26/08/2012 08:02

Marking place. DS's AS results last week were very patchy, he got a in one of his history units, e in the other for example. Haven't spoken to him yet as we've just got back from hols and he's still away but he txted to say thinking of not going to Uni, going straight in the army as a soldier rather than an officer . His dad, as others have said on this thread, would recommend him thinking of the long term, ie a happy life, rather than obsessing about "letters on a piece of paper" as he puts it.

FellatioNelson · 26/08/2012 08:22

There are plenty of universities that will be delighted to take him with CCD, and plenty of universities which don't even expect that much. The point is, whether or not he wants to go and spend his time and money on a foundation degree or a more practical industry focused degree or not, or whether he feels it's only worthwhile if he is in a competitive academically drive uni. It doesn't really sound like he wants to go at all to be honest.

It's tough coming to terms with the fact that your teenager doesn't want to go in the direction you think they should. I had all this last year with one of mine - he dropped out of his AS levels very early on, despite being perfectly capable of getting decent grades, but quite honestly if I'd really listened to him he never would have started them in the first place!

I am no longer fretting about him going or not going to university - all that matters is that he eventually ends up making a decent living at something he feels he is suited to, and gets some fulfilment from, and he seems quite focused on his chosen path now. It may lead to uni eventually anyway, via a different route than A levels, but not necessarily - he may just go striaight into work. I am much, much more relaxed about the whole thing now, and I have let him take control of his own destiny!

FellatioNelson · 26/08/2012 08:23

sorry, that should have said 'competitive, academically driven uni.'

mumblechum1 · 26/08/2012 08:25

btw, how can I find out the grade boundaries, eg ds got a C in biology but if he's only a few marks off a b, maybe he should go for a re-mark?

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