ds1 decided to go on a road trip across Europe and missing results day!

[eatyourveg]

4 of them have been planning it for months - as soon as the exams finished they were off in an old mini following the route of some Audrey Hepburn movie ending up in Switzerland. It now transpires they are leaving the sunday before results and will be gone for 3 weeks

So cross I can't even talk to him about it. I just threw the letter from school at him which has in bold "Students are strongly advised to be available in person to handle whatever situation may arise"

We are away on holiday until the Tuesday so I won't be here to stop him going - not that I can actually do anything although last night I had visions of going on holiday with his passport

His uni need conformation that he is accepting the place asap as it is only then that they start allocating the accommodation, its first come first serve and if he does nothing he'll end up with his 11th choice of accommodation which is a bunk room in a welsh medium hall and he can't speak welsh!

The other 3 on the trip aren't going to uni - they have jobs/apprentiships lined up so have no issue about being there to collect what ds says is "just a piece of paper". One is already working and can only take leave at a specified time which seems to be why they have picked to go then.

Don't feel able to make a decision should he miss a grade and be offered an alternative course. Why the hell is he being so irresponsible! So here is the dilemma

Option A -let him go he's 18 and if he forfeits his place at uni it is a lesson learned and he can apply again next year

Option B - let him go I collect his results and hope he gets the grades and make sure he gives me access to his emails so I can reply to any offer

Option C Don't let him go (consider again the idea of confiscating the passport) but get him a flight or a train ticket so he can catch them up on the Thursday eve or Friday

he will have no Internet access.

No phone with internet? No internet cafe? No netbook and PAYG dongle - it's Europe not the moon.

BTW OP - if a large envelope arrives from the uni on the day the A Levels are out then he has got his place.

As long as he writes a letter/email saying you can deal with all this then you will be fine.

If you read the OPs original post she says he never uses his basic mobile (my ds doesn't have a phone with a camera or Internet ) and uses a typewriter and doesn't own a laptop!Maybe one of his friends does though OP.

By the way big brown envelopes are a thing of the past ,everything is done electronically now,quite a lot it seems by just sending you a log in to a VLE.You cannot apply for accommodation by post at ds1's first choice or second for that matter.

Option A. I remember when I got
my results my parents' involvement was nil, nada, zilch. He's a grown up! If he ends up speaking Welsh then another life skill surely? Cymru am byth and all that

sashh As long as he writes a letter/email saying you can deal with all this then you will be fine.

Who does he write to, school ucas uni or all 3?

Eatyourveg - if you have to sort this out for him he'll never manage at college

Did he tick a box on the ucas form when he applied to say he gave permision for you to be involved, If he didn't do that he needs to phone/email ucas to tell them he gives you permission. DD3 once got in a muddlewith something when she was applying for uni and asked me to help her. I phoned ucas but they wouldn't speak to me until she had phoned and told them she gave me permission. He should either ask school to post results to him ( home addres) or tell them he gives you permision to pick them up. Yes as others have said he is an adult but sometimes even adults need a little help and 18 year olds do not always think.

Ophelia ,4 years ago I would have said the same now we are in this position I realise how much things have changed since my day .The system really expects parents to be involved after all it is the parents signing deposit cheques etc as they won't wait for student loans to come through plus the whole be beaurocracy surrounding the system is ridiculous and the pupils have to make decisions involving thousands of pounds very quickly .Someone helping in the background is very useful,plus if her ds has nowhere to stay on day 1 who realistically is going to have to help sort the mess out.

Actually he should stay home and sort it I would be very cross.We have made it clear to ds1 that we will be there as sounding boards on the day if he needs second opinions but we are absolutely not sorting it all for him.

I'd be encouraging him to go and trying to sort it our for him if he wants - encourage his spirit of adventure!

I agree with Outtolunch .. especially with regards to accommodation..money has to change hands quickly, electronically and in large amounts!

My DD2 will be off to University in september, grades willing, and we have to pay her first instalment before she gets the keys.. before her loan is in!

In my day (jurassic period ) it was a brown envelope and all was sorted slowly and smoothly. Now it's on the day stress, UCAS Track invariably goes down, and everywhere expects answers NOW. We went through it 2 years ago with DD1 and it was a nightmare.. she needed our help then and two years on she is managing perfectly well at University down to sorting out non student long term let for a year away, great financial management etc...

It IS a lot for green 18 year olds on the day and saying 'they need to do it themselves' isn't going to suddenly make them better adults for it..just stressed ones when they are on the cusp of a massive change in their lives!

I'm very happy for mine to be as independent as they can be.... I just want to make sure they GET there first

I completely agree with Medusa

It's grear in theory to say that, at 18, kids should be doing everything for themselves but they haven't got any experience to draw on or the first idea about what needs to happen. I think that they need some guidace, hand-holding and moral support at important times like this.

I really feel your frustration and concern OP. My 18 year old DD will be here for results and to do everything she needs to do with the university (results permitting - cross myself!). I think that if I were in your position I would probably have a go at persuading your DS to rethink the timing of his holiday.

Boomting's got it spot on re the UCAS part of your problem - its only a problem if he doesn't make the grades for even his insurance offer.

For the accommodation, I'd do it for him - get him to leave you all the details - you seem to have them - of where to confirm and do it on the morning after you've logged into his UCAS account to see that he's been accepted.

I too would be cross about going away and not being here, but maybe that reflects his confidence in getting the grades!

If he doesn't make the grades, there is plenty you can do on his behalf in the clearing system before he flies home urgently to deal with it himself! And if he wants a place that is what he'll have to do.....

I would probably do it with him. My ds is this age and I can see his sort of scenario arising. I would deal with this end. And be in touch about the details

Why doesn't he take the phone number of the Uni/accomodation (plus relevant things like UCAS number or whatever) with him when he goes away.
He can assume he has got in and phone them first thing in the morning, saying he accepts his place and would like accomodation.

Then they will either say OK, or you missed your offer and haven't got a place at this uni. And then he will know he needs to get to the internet, log in and see his results, maybe start making some phone calls.

Pretty confident if he misses his firm, he'll make his insurance offer as its 2 grades lower and with one more exam to go tomorrow he seems to think he's on track to avoid clearing. Accommodation at the insurance uni is much more straightforward.

Think we have reached a compromise, ds will stay for results, reply to track and uni himself and we will pay for the train/plane ticket for him to catch his mates up Thursday evening or Friday morning. They'll only be 4 days in to the trip so won't have got much further than Luxembourg/Strasbourg.

I think the trip will be great for him and his first real taste of freedom as well as being a celebration of the last 7 years of school being with his friends who are all going off in different directions so I do want him to go - its just awful timing.

What I need to know from all those of you who have had dc go through the system, is there anything to do in the days following results and acceptance of the offer? Any money transfers will have to be us anyway as the loan won't materialise until he's there and has registered during freshers week.

IME the only thing that you'll have to do between results day and moving in is pay the accommodation deposit/prepayment - amounts for that vary, but I've come across anything from £200-600.

eatyourveg I think that is the wise decision. DD actually met the grades for her offer last year but due to a cock up by UCAS had to speak to the Uni herself and fax them her results. They then had to put her through clearing even though the Uni hadn't entered clearing. This all took a few days to sort out. I'm sure this is an unusual occurrence but it's best to be prepared for things like this. To say nothing of Track being down and me being in hospital at the time so not being able to help.

Once she'd accepted they gave her an email account and all accommodation emails etc went to that. I don't think there was anything to do but wait for accommodation to be allocated - last year this was 8th Sept by the time they sorted out who was bunking and who was in the Welsh only block and once that was done we had to send the deposit. I will check all this with her when I speak to her next. There was a FB page for last years intake which I found very helpful for so you may want to look for that.

BTW DD got in to her first choice of accommodation despite all the cock ups

eat your veg if this is Aber agree with BestIsWest - the facebook pages are very useful. Luckily DS had an unconditional as Spanish Bachillerato results come out in May so didn't get caught up in the results day problems but I can see this could be a nightmare. The good news is that even those that landed up bunking either loved it (probably due to the financial incentives!) or were able to move out pretty quickly into normal rooms after a couple of weeks. Try not to worry - hard I know. I think the trip sounds great but agree the timing is rubbish!

Yes it is Aber fussychica I know the bunks are incredibly cheap but at the moment ds is really anti them - saying that, it could all change once he gets to know other people in his flat. He took the scholarship paper in February but came out just 6 marks short of an unconditional offer, guaranteed accommodation for the duration of his course and £1K per annum. Soooo frustrating, life could have been so much simpler!

Know the feeling the Aber bursary of up to £1000pa was stopped for last years intake at the last minute but has now been brought back for 2012 entrants. This leave DS £4000 (4 year course) worse off than those in the years above and below him. Bit of a shock as it was changed post him accepting his place and turning down Birmingham which has a very favourable bursary scheme. He still loves Aber but they aren't on my Christmas card list

Just in case he does not get the results he wants he should print off the contact details for the uni he appplied to so that he can call them and his insurance choice. He should go on to UCAS before he goes and check the courses that are in extra but not all the courses that show up will be available and more may be added on results day. He should print off a list of all the contact details for the uni's that have courses that might be of interest. He should be up very early to check his ucas status on track as last year the site crashed and caused chaos. If he is declined by both his choices then he will have to hit the phones as soon as he can to find a place. HTH and good luck. My dd did this last year, it was stressful but it all worked out ok.

homeaway I've kept the clearing lists for the last couple of years so know which places usually come up. None of them are particularly appealing as his course varies so much in content from one place to another and he's after particular modules. Yes he's planning on being up early to check track and if it all goes completely pear shape he is probably going to do go down the distance learning route. Goldsmiths do his degree at a fraction of the cost of being on site, they are still open for applications in August and the grade requirement is much lower. Not ideal I know but at least he'd get a degree from a decent place and is able to earn some money at the same time. Hopefully it won't come to that though. He's booking a flight to catch his mates up on the friday morning.

I would still go on track and check what is on extra now as some courses have been dropped this year. Some extra info for you if he is flying to Luxembourg the cheapest is airline is normally city jet or he can fly from stanstead to hahn (ryanair )which is 2 hour bus ride away from Luxembourg city but there is a direct bus. The train takes forever to get from Brussels to Luxembourg. Having done home schooling for a year to get my kids some A levels in a year I can say that it is really hard for them to stay motivated and focused whilst trying to do a distance learning course, so I would really think very hard about going down the distance learning route as it is not for everybody. For accomodation if I remember correctly they had to chose accomodation with their first choice before results day ??? ( not sure )and then make module choices online. If they dont go to their first choice then they are not always guaranteed accomodation but they do try and give priority to first years.

thanks for that - I'll get him to look at extra today. accommodation at his firm and insurance is guaranteed and he has already applied to both with his choices - they can't however guarantee anyone will get their first choice hall. You register for modules during freshers week at his firm, don't know how it works with his insurance - that is something he will need to check out.

Interesting what you say about distance learning and the motivation needed and certainly something to bear in mind. His mates will pick him up from the airport - the route is being finalised at the weekend so he can then choose the airport, though training to brussels would be so much easier as eurostar is only 25 mins away.

btw if courses still have places available in extra at this late stage, might that not be an indication that the course is unpopular and therefore possibly not very good and therefore one to avoid?