Eldest off to Uni - help!

[teahouse]

I'm sure this comes up annually.

My eldest is off to Uni very soon, and I'm a worried mum of course.

We've got together everything we can think of that he'll need but he'll be 4 hours drive away and I can't just drop everything to sort him out (single mum, work FT, and another at home).

How do I cope? I'm sure he'll be fine; he can cook, clean, use a washing machine, and is on the course he wants, it's me I'm worried about!

Feeling for you Teahouse.

My two aren't there yet, but I am already dreading them flying the nest. Their dad suggested they move in with him for A levels and I just thought "I'm not ready".

No advice to offer, just sympathy.

Whatever you do, DON"T go and see Toy Story3!

I can't even think about this, and dd is 14 so it's nearly here for me too.....

teahouse - he sounds very capable and I'm sure he'll be fine. Mine went last year and the first couple of weeks were tough but after that it was OK - in fact I worried about him less in some ways. I wasn't lying awake waiting for the key in the door every night anyway. And there's so many ways to keep in touch these days too.

Ds has gone abroad for his second year so I'm sitting here waiting for a text from him to say he's landed and cleared immigration.

I have had tw0 DD's go off to uni. You do wory at first but soon realies that they are capable and do learn to look after themselves properly. DD2 is gong back to Lingston tommorrow and will be starting her 2nd year at uni in a couple of weeks. She is 2o and started uni at 19. Although she could cook and do her own washing before she went. She wasn't the most mature of 19 year olds and her budgeting was hopeledd. But she settled into uni life worked hard and managed to budget fairly well. She was in halls but is now sharing a house with some friends she has made on her course.

He will be fine - but it is you who has to adapt to his absence and it will impact on your other DC who will become an only child in term time. Try to keep in contact but don't expect necessarily to hear too much for the first couple of weeks whilst he settles in/lives through freshers week.
I've had one go through university and another starting at the end of the month and am looking forward to the quiet, less washing and mess and the opportunity to have more time for myself.

I have one DD who went to uni 3 years ago. I was dreading it but organised myself some treats ie breaks away with my DS - things to look forward to.

The first term was quite tough for my DD and she nearly didn't go back after Xmas, but she did and then loved it. There are advantages - less waiting to hear them get home late at night, less washing, as someone else has said. Less feeling you have to be involved somehow , as they do finally grow up and take more responsibility for their own life!

sandripples. I agree althoughDH and I missed DD2 we didn't miss waiting for her to come in at 2.30am or woorying about where she was. She has just been home for 3 weeks ansd actually didn't stay out late at all.
She did meet up with friends but she now sems to have got out of going to nightclubs tuntil the early hours of the morning. Partly because she is now more sensible about mony. Sh actually said to me she needed to save her money for the new term. She went back yesterday and I shall miss her again but know that she will work hard at her course. She doesn't actually start uni until the 20th but has gone back with a friend and she wants to sort some things out before she starts term.

When my DD went to uni 2 years ago I was profoundly shocked by how bereft I felt for almost all his first term. Looking back, I should have planned to be a bit kinder to myself and given myself a few treats. But the hardest part was when he came back for the (very long) summer vac and totally disturbed the equilibrium in the house, especially for DD (4yrs younger) - prodigal returning??
Things have finally settled down now at the end of his second year!!!!

God I am dreading dd leaving.
She is taking a gap year so will be away fro some of it.
She will also be 5 hrs away when she goes to uni.
DS is 10 yrs younger and will be bereft when she goes-she is like a second mum to him.
So no advice OP but I fully empathise.

My DD1 is also off this year. Am having lots of sleepless nights.

Your DS sounds very capable of looking after himself. My DD has only just learnt how to use a washing machine, and I have been making encouraging her to cook over the summer.

She cannot wait to start though, she is so excited, so you just have to let them go!

After saying that, I am dreading taking her! Saying goodbye and leaving her!!

Oh dear I'm off again!!

Teahouse, my eldest (DD) is off to uni in less than three weeks time and I'm DREADING it.

She drives me nuts at times and she is a very capable person so I'm sure she won't starve or even go overdrawn (scarily competent with money!) but I'm going to miss her so badly it hurts.

Plus her sister is going to miss her so muchas they are very close:( DD2 is coming to see her into her hall of residence as they want to be together til the last moment..(don't think either brother will even notice tho )

I suspect I am going to cry most of the 4 hour drive home..along with DD2.. pathetic but true.

She's 18 but I feel like its been 10 minutes since someone handed her to me saying 'it's a girl!'.

Still I guess we'll all get used to the 'new normal' after a few weeks.... then they'll come home!

My dd goes off on the 25th and she is my youngest. Her brothers are 36 and 33 so I have had children in the house for a very long time. I know I am going to miss her very much and keep telling myself that I must have done a good job as she is independant, good with money can cook and will clean when she has to.

I have come to the conclusion that I will just have to speak to DH occaisionally!

DC1 went to university last year. Could just about cook ( his choice, not mine!) Don't think he'd ever used the washing machine or the iron. I gave him a list of basic instructions for washing (sort the clothes, temperature etc) and a few easy meal recipes and tbh, we had to leave him to it. By the time we saw him next, about six weeks later, he was cooking decent, proper food for himself, coping with the washing and even doing his own ironing. It was a case of having to, whereas at home, there was always mum or dad around to help out!

As to keeping in touch, we invested in a couple of webcams and keep in touch that way. It is cheaper than phoning and means that if he is working he can continue to do so whilst we natter, or even use the text service on Skype.

He is going back in a couple of weeks and we will have to get used to him not being here all over again. But we will. And when we say goodbye to him this year, we will be much more confident that he will be able to look after himself and find time for his studies as well.

Take a deep breath and be a proud mummy!

He will be FINE.

I was at university until 2009 and there is very, very little chance he'll starve. He needs to learn to do things for himself etc.

In terms of you coping: maybe organize a time to speak to him every week? I used to get really irritated with my mum phoning while I was out etc, and forget to call her. Eventually we settled on Sunday afternoon, and it was great.

TBH just enjoy the free time you'll now have! My mum got an entire LIFE in the first term I was away. Very distressing ... for me!