This time of year always gives us lots to think about. At Beat we know that, for the people we support, the gift wrapping, event hosting and food prepping is coloured by anxiety about managing their eating disorder.
An eating disorder is tough the whole year round, but during Christmas and the lead-up, it’s that bit harder. Not everyone celebrates, but it’s still unavoidable. We can’t turn on the TV without ads offering deals on party snacks, or go into a supermarket without being greeted by aisles of seasonal chocolate.
And if you do celebrate? When you have an eating disorder, or you’re supporting someone who does, ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ can quickly turn into anything but.
Food is impossible to avoid. Routines are thrown off. Well-meaning relatives can say the wrong thing. That’s all while you’re under pressure to have a good time, which can make it even worse. And come January, we dive right into gym-based resolutions and ‘new year, new me’ diets – a total turnaround from the festive season, but no less difficult.
But people affected aren’t alone. Our helpline stays open through Christmas. And we’ve created more services for people with eating disorders and their families, offering support when people need us most – all for free.
We know for many people, stress comes from feeling underprepared. Our online training workshop Coping with Celebrations: Christmas helps anyone supporting someone with an eating disorder get to grips with what makes this time of year so tough. It offers coping and self-care techniques, plus a safe space to talk to other carers, with e-learning modules and a live Zoom workshop. You can book a free place on Coping with Celebrations until 16 December.
For others, feeling alone as they support their loved one is one of the toughest things about a time that’s meant to be about coming together. So the 12 Days of Solace programme does just that – brings carers together to share experiences and insights.
Between 19 – 31 December, we encourage carers to join us for as many of our 12 free 90-minute Zoom calls as they like. We talk about prepping for Christmas. We dig into the worries people might have in the aftermath. Finally, as we get to the end of the course, we look ahead to navigating New Year. It helps people find community at a time when things are toughest.
We’ve got other services, too. From one-to-one telephone coaching for carers, to guided self-help for people with binge eating disorder, to peer support for young people. It’s all co-created with people who know first-hand the impact of eating disorders, and it’s all free. You can learn more on our website.
If you need support over Christmas, please reach out. Our services are here for you. Our UK-wide helpline is open all the way through, 4pm – midnight from 24 December to 3 January. You can call us or drop us a message .
In the meantime, take a look at our advice below. And from all of us at Beat, we hope you have a peaceful Christmas.
Our quick tips
- It can take away some of the anxiety if you have a clear plan about what’s happening, who’ll be there, and what food will be served.
- It could help guests who aren’t familiar with the eating disorder to have some information ahead of time about what they should and shouldn’t say.
- A table laden with food can be overwhelming – could it help to serve dinner away from the table?
- Christmas dinner is especially hard, so plan distractions during and after the meal. Keep conversation focused on something besides food, and follow up with a game or presents.
- Whatever you do, think about moving away from the table after dinner and socialising somewhere else so the person who is struggling isn’t having to think about the meal.
- Quiet, sensitive encouragement throughout the day can make such a difference. You could agree on a discreet signal the person with the eating disorder can use if they need this.
Kayleigh is Deputy Training Manager at Beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity. She helps run several of Beat’s workshops and peer support groups – including those for anyone supporting someone with an eating disorder at Christmas.
Twitter: @beatED
Website: www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/