Earlier this year Mumsnet ran a ‘Better Postnatal Care Campaign’ and my article was featured as guest post for it. I wanted to tell anyone who would listen that I had endured a shedload of pain since having children. I didn’t sugar-coat it, I didn’t (I hope) condescend others who might be suffering, and I didn’t smugly confirm that I was cured. Quite the opposite. I procrastinated about whether to give all the honest details as it was the first time I had openly divulged the truth about my ongoing pain. So, for those of you who read and responded to my article (thank you ALL) and want to know if those metal rods are working, then here’s my update. You heard it here first.
In a nutshell, I have been taking laxatives every day since I first give birth. I have endured anal fissures and cannot poo without laxatives. Doctors and consultants have carried out a sigmoidoscopy and a colonoscopy to try and pinpoint the issue without success and finally four years later a women’s health physiotherapist identified my pelvic floor as the issue and referred me to a London consultant.
The consultant instructed the use of various-sized metal rods to help to stretch the anus (I’m not joking, this has been my life and dare I say it, my dream of a cure). I was a first-class swot and did as I was told and gradually worked my way up the rod sizes every night for about 12 weeks.
I should add here that the rods I used were in fact sex toys. Life hit an all-time low around that time. Believe me those rods were intimidating and it doesn’t do a lot for your marriage when you have to ask your husband to leave the room so you can open the lubricant and shove a rod up your bum.
About three months later I saw my consultant again and he was pleased with my progress and confirmed that there were no remaining fissures and the pelvic floor, although still tight, was much improved. You can’t believe how happy I was with myself because it was massively challenging even to be able to use the rods, let alone actually get to the biggest one!
He asked me to reduce my daily laxatives from two sachets to one and my first reaction was a firm no, because I have tried this in the past on multiple occasions and I have suffered with so much pain. I could feel the anxiety rearing as he made the suggestion, in response to fear of the pain I knew only too well. Instead I reduced from two to one-and-a-half sachets every night. I know this doesn’t sound a lot, but for me it was such progress because I genuinely never thought it would be possible to reduce my laxatives without terrible ramifications.
For two months following the laxative reduction I only had one flare-up of pain and that was when I was on holiday and completely relaxed my diet. I resembled a carbohydrate monster, gorging on bread, which I usually avoid, and quite simply shoving my face in any other carb available. It clearly isn’t the diet my body can cope with and the pain returned accompanied with a fat dose of low mood and desperation that I was not ‘fixed.’ In addition to the change in diet I also had an incredibly stressful weekend and I do wonder how much that pesky stress had to do with it. The positive part is that it only took a few days to recover to be pain-free. In the past it has sometimes taken three to four weeks, so something was clearly working or had improved.
In October I reduced my laxatives to one sachet a day, which I never thought possible. I have only had one bout of pain since then; again I put that down to a somewhat lardy and unhealthy Christmas diet. My consultant signed me off in October and suggested that the rods could go. Hurrah, they were removed from the bedroom rather hastily. He did admit though that perhaps I will need to stay on laxatives for the rest of my life, but at least I am on half the daily amount I was.
This year I am working up the courage to reduce the laxatives again to only half a sachet a day and then who knows, maybe I can ditch them altogether. Or perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m petrified of the pain returning, but my approach is again to take it gradually and keep my diet ultra-healthy. It certainly is a slow road to recovery, but the hope of one day having a body that doesn’t require laxatives is the kick-up the said bum that I need.
I hope this update gives hope to other women who are struggling with their post-baby health like me. The feedback I gained after the Mumsnet article from others who experienced similar health issues was both astounding and supportive. I have gone through this alone and as much as I feel for others who are also going through similar issues, it was strangely comforting to know that I’m not the only one.
If nothing else, I hope it reminds other mothers that it’s worth fighting for your health, because it can be tough enough being a parent without constant pain and anxiety.