Guest post: “Having a child resulted in Botox in my bottom”

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

It’s been more than four years since I had my first son. Four years of pain later and a shot of Botox up my bum, and I have finally decided to talk about the medical problems I encountered.

Other than the midwives who banged on about the risk of pethidine, nobody talked to me about potential issues or injuries birth could cause. No-one ever discussed the aftermath that I am still dealing with. Would I change having my son? No, not for anything, but I do think it’s unfair, and frankly bonkers, that childbirth means I still can’t have a poo without popping laxatives like they are Smarties.

My son’s birth saw him pulled out with the help of forceps, into a room with enough people to run a country, most of whom prodded, pulled and chatted about the weather. Days after the birth the stitches across my third-degree tear became infected and the antibiotics administered brought me out in an angry rash. Add severe itching to a ripped undercarriage, zero sleep and an inability to breastfeed and yes, it really was the stuff of dreams.

I didn’t know it would get worse when I finally managed a poo. Think red hot razor blades and trying to push out a particularly huge watermelon. I had anal fissures. These basically split the anus and bleed, but it’s so difficult for them to heal because, well, it’s impossible not to poo.

Life became a cycle: eat, panic, down laxative, sit on toilet for hours trying to ease out poo while screaming in pain, repeat. One month after birth, I returned to hospital, desperate for help. Sadly though, there is no quick and easy cure for fissures. I was put on morphine and sent home with a numbing bottom cream.

Since that initial outbreak of fissures, I take medically prescribed laxatives every day so that my poo is soft, and the healed wounds don’t crack open again. I am very strict with my diet and ensure plenty of fibre and water and I go through stages when everything is fine and I can poo without pain. At other times, something triggers a ‘blockage’ and the anus splits and I’m back to phase one. I have learnt to massively increase my laxatives when I have a flare up, because pooing out water is less likely to split the fissures.

I have developed anxiety and am now in constant fear of the pain returning. This is the first thing I think about most mornings - and it massively affects my mood and my marriage. My husband feels totally helpless, and when I have bouts of pain they make me grumpy, irritable and incredibly sad and despondent.

Two years ago, I underwent a sigmoidoscopy to check my lower colon and a colonoscopy to check my large intestine. The results were clear and I should have been relieved, but all I wanted was a diagnosis. I like explanations and facts - instead I had a bleeding arsehole, was walking like John Wayne with a broomstick up his bum, and was being told, ‘There’s nothing wrong with you.’

My consultant finally suggested Botox in my anus to help to heal the fissures’ muscles and to relax the internal anal sphincter to allow me to poo without spasm. It didn’t work - I should have asked for a bit in my face to at least gain something from the experience.

So, two years ago I tried a new method and saw a nutritionist. She simply gave me a list of ‘alternative’ remedies to take at an extortionate cost - none worked. I then tried Chinese medicine and acupuncture with no improvement, a dairy free diet, a sugar free diet, a diet which pretty much consisted of dust and air, and yet nothing improved my symptoms and the laxatives continued to be a part of my everyday life.

Finally, last year I was recommended a women’s health physiotherapist. She suggested that my pelvic floor was to blame as it was so tight that it was causing spasms, resulting in blockages. She recommended a different private consultant and it’s like finally someone understands what is wrong with me. His recommendation is to stretch the anus because it’s too tight and the way to do this? Yep I had to buy a pack of metal rod sex toys and I must put one up my bottom every day, gradually increasing in width as the anus becomes more ‘giving’. I’m not even joking. Anus stretching, sex toys, metal rods. This is my life now.

It didn’t seem as if the medical professionals I saw understood my postnatal health issues and it felt like I was on my own in relation to postnatal health. In France, women have 10 to 20 postnatal physiotherapy sessions to retrain the muscles of the pelvic floor, and yet it took me three years, huge costs and various health specialists to understand that my pelvic floor was the issue.

Who knows what will happen and if the magical rods will solve the problem, but I have hope and when you have chronic pain, I think hope is hugely important. Anyway, if nothing else I can hold my head up high and confirm I have had Botox up my arse and probably have the smoothest bottom around.

[Wizzwazzwas]

howdoeshomeopathywork.com

HTH

[Stephgr8]

I have had exactly the same for 5 years now. I have had 3 rounds of botox from one of the UK's leading experts. 2 years ago he told me there was no point in repeating the botox because if it didn't work after 3 attempts then it never would. His only alternative was major surgery which has a 50% chance of success and a 50% chance of incontinence. I haven't gone for that option and the consultant said he would not want to inflict such risky surgery on someone so young. It is a nightmare. I would love to hear more about how you get on and if you ever want advice or to chat to someone in the same awful position, please do get in touch. Quite literally I do share your pain. Best wishes and hope you recover xx

[MissTulipan]

Floflo10 was it diltiazem the cream that healed you?

[LibbyBrown]

I've been seeing a Traditional Chinese Masseuse for various problems, many of which she says are related to my pregnancy, and I can't tell you how much better I feel!

Can't recommend it enough x

[aspoonfulofyourownmedicine]

I too had a forceps delivery with an episiotomy, after telling staff DS was on his way for hours but was ignored. Eventually got checked and whoosh, room was filled with docs, midwives and a consultant carrying a giant pair of medical scissors. I go through cycles of having faecal urgency, where I physically cannot wait for the toilet, other times like today going to the toilet is severe agony. My DS is 8 and I haven't considered having another child since.

[BestChar]

Hello,this is me!Identical

[BestChar]

I also messaged you on Twitter-would really value discussing with you.I know you said you just wanted to share your experience but I am literally seeing a doctor on Thursday about the situation.I am identical to you-I got told I had to take movicol for the rest of my life.Like you I just want to see someone who can diagnose and tell me the answer-why am I constipated?Like you I have spent so much money over last 3 years on nutritionists and osteopaths and women’s physio.I had 3rd degree tear in labour and had anal fissure 3 months later - told this sometimes happens!But 3 years on,fissure is supposedly healed so why then am I still constipated?I was going to ask for a colonoscopy like you but very interested to hear that yours was all clear and whether your current ‘treatment’ is working!As think this is the path I need to go down too!

[Floflo10]

So sorry for my late reply. I thought I’d binned the cream but obviously kept just so I’d remember the name. Ask for Anoheal, it worked in a week on my fissure that I had for a year!

[MissTulipan]

Thanks floflo that is what I have just been prescribed and I’m collecting this week. Really appreciate that, I really hope it works as otherwise I will be having Botox under GA as next step.

OP how are you doing now? Are the rods helping at all. Really keen to hear how you get on.

[mumof2bambinos]

@MissTulipan just wondering if you healed and whether you had the botox