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Guest post: "Pop music will lift you - and your child - up"

78 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 03/02/2016 14:37

Just before tea most days, you'll find me back in the 1980s, feeling like I'm twirling in a pink puffball dress, my T-bars clomping to shiny synthesisers and big, doofy drums. My hands stretch down to two chubby little paws, and a little boy in dungarees smiles daftly at his mum.

This is my favourite time of day. I connect my iPad up to the speakers, and turn Spotify on. A few bursts of Wheels On The Bus and the theme tune to Postman Pat's Special Delivery Service later, and 21-month-old Evan is subjected to his daily pop disco.

The best thing about having kids, in my opinion? Being able to act like a kid again.

It was while I was pregnant, watching all my friend enjoying music with their little ones, and while Evan was tiny, that I got thinking about how we want to share music with our children. While every other hour seemed dedicated to bum-wiping, burping and bibs, listening to pop songs on the radio became a comfort and a tonic that reminded me of the wider world.

In my brightly-coloured book for pre-school children, Pop!, I write about how pop music is a liberating, life-giving thing. It's also incredible to sing, dance and dress up - to identify with songs that teach us about the world, and to explore our identities through interesting, flamboyant pop stars, such as David Bowie, Madonna, the Pet Shop Boys and Kylie.

We begin this sharing of music at baby singing classes, of course. I've done them all and could happily never hear Wind The Bobbin Up again. But sharing our own favourite songs is a very different thing. As someone who writes about music for broadsheets and women's magazines, and has DJ'd several times at the brilliant Big Fish Little Fish mini-raves, I'm a pop geek, that's true – but I also know when us parents have to give our kids room. So here are my tips for introducing your little people to pop.

  • Don't worry about curating highbrow choices. Yes, we live in a world where Bach to Baby concerts and the like introduce our kids to high culture, and we grew up making uber-cool mixtapes or playlists for our friends. Children work rather differently. I found this out in my late teens, after making my much younger brother a tape that had Joy Division and Leonard Cohen on it (the poor boy returned his Smurfs' album tout-suite). There's just as much nourishment to be found in the sound of a man singing "awopbopaloobop awopbamboom!", so start with bouncy pop hits full of silly lyrics, noises and voices. There's Little Richard's Tutti Frutti, Millie's My Boy Lollipop ("you make my soul go...GIDDYUP!"), Hot Butter's Popcorn (lots of funny bleeps), and Trio's Da Da Da (the gobbledygook title speaks for itself). Serious nerd parents, take note: this also introduces them to rock and roll, reggae, '70s electronica, and '80s German pop.
  • If your children are into specific things, play songs you like that share their subjects. For instance, my friend's son Sam was obsessed with trains as a toddler. He quickly got similarly obsessed with Kraftwerk's Trans-Europe Express quickly, and later enjoyed Kraftwerk's The Robots – he found the band's robotic voices funny, and the melody perky. Ta-da! He spent all his downtime wanting to watch their videos on YouTube. A nice break from Thomas for his parents, certainly.
  • Don't limit what you play. Evan's dad likes weirder, electronic music, which he still played while on dad duty when Evan was little – some of it not unlike the white noise that used to blare over our son's cot. That's a sound Evan still likes, so your kids' tastes might surprise you. His latest favourite to cheekily stick his tongue out to? Lazarus by David Bowie. Me neither.
  • Remember that being a good parent is about being happy yourself, too. If you've had a rubbish day at work, and playing Neneh Cherry's Buffalo Stance out loud would make things better after the nursery run – it always makes things better – then do. (Evan responded to this one with a twirl.)
  • But also don't be sad if your children don't like everything you play. They'll like what they like, whether that be the Postman Pat theme (God forbid) or whatever's high in the charts (I've already heard myself shouting "That's not music!" at the telly like my mother did). My playlist (which you can find here) contains a selection of songs that inspired Pop!, as well as tracks from the stars nodded to in it, and it's full of songs I've enjoyed alone, as well as with little ones. Let it inspire your own. Then grab a moment in the day, pump up the volume, grab those paws. Whatever happens, I guarantee pop will lift you up.
OP posts:
ouryve · 04/02/2016 13:17

Maybe she'd rather mosh along to Slaves, vivipru :o (I know I would - and I am classically trained before anyone else shouts "reverse snobbery")

0phelia · 04/02/2016 15:07

Can I shout "reverse robbery!"

ViviPru · 04/02/2016 15:31

Then she's no child of mine, ouryve Grin

NewLife4Me · 04/02/2016 16:21

My children have been listening to all sorts of music from all genres, from being in the womb, not really pop as such, but sometimes a bit.
I agree with Maestro. Grin
There's such a wonderful array of different types of music, culturally it is better to offer this than a single decade of pop.

HopefulHamster · 04/02/2016 18:17

I don't think a single person suggested only listening to pop from one decade...

Backingvocals · 04/02/2016 18:33

Indeed they didn't. In fact there's only one decade's worth of pop that we don't listen to and that's the current one because I cannot listen to Capital or R1 so I just don't know it.

Archfarchnad · 04/02/2016 18:37

Currently waiting in the queue with DD2 and her friend to get into 21 Pilots gig. My teenagers have opened a whole new generation of music for me.

Archfarchnad · 04/02/2016 18:56

In the venue now, and this is hilarious. There's a rule here that under-16s have to be accompanied by an adult to gigs. So there's a bit of spare staging at the back of the hall and all the parents are using it to sit on and fiddle with our phones. Honestly, there's around 20 of us, some of them looking much more out of place than me.

Archfarchnad · 04/02/2016 19:08

The support act has come on, and it's a DJ. The Parents' Corner is not impressed. Young people these days, honestly, in what respect is that live music?

PenguinsAreAce · 04/02/2016 19:47

I don't get it... This is a blog about sharing something joyful with your children and having fun.

There is just no need to come on and tell people who enjoy a wide variety of (relatively) contemporary music that what we are doing is akin to eating burgers!! One can like and listen to classical music as well. It's not a bloody competition. Why don't you write a blog about sharing classical music with children if you feel so passionately?

We enjoy a wide variety of music, including classical. In the car we like to have something to sing along to, ideally with acoustic guitar/piano. Liking Indigo girls, Beautiful South, Robbie Williams, crash test dummies, fool's garden, and lots more.

The variet they enjoy with the their dad is quite different, more rock and stuff that way inclined. It's all good.

I agree that the lyrics are the biggest issue, especially if you want to avoid gender stereotyping.

Backingvocals · 04/02/2016 19:50

Spot on penguins

ridingsixwhitehorses · 04/02/2016 20:04

That is a brilliant playlist. We spent this evening dancing round the kitchen. Thank you. Am def going to get the book.

IPityThePontipines · 04/02/2016 22:20

I'm slightly baffled by the OP, as it never occurred to me not to share my musical tastes with my children. I like that Dd1 is starting to have her own likes and dislikes, it's lovely to see.

Also, for anyone who's been a long-time fan of a particular band or genre, introducing your children to them is like letting them meet a beloved relative. Smile

UnDeuxTroisCatsSank · 04/02/2016 23:22

I love the OP's enthusiasm, but I agree that she is rather stating the obvious. I don't know anyone who thinks their children must survive on a musical diet of The Wheels On The Bus and Wind The Bobbin to the exclusion of Bowie, The Beatles, Nirvana and Muse.

I like simple nursery rhymes as they help with language and are accessible to even tiny tots. The music tends to be jolly too. So rhymes and songs like Oranges and Lemons were lovely for our babies and toddlers.

But along side that, I did not ever consider not playing music I love. And I don't know anyone who did not do the same.

Music is music that speaks to the soul, not logic.

Maestro · 04/02/2016 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 05/02/2016 02:19

My cousin is a classically trained composer of non classical music (mixing turntables and quartets, really interesting stuff). Of course you can still enjoy non classical music despite learning all about composition! Lots of interesting things mixers do with classical music too.

But then perhaps there are some different definitions of 'pop' going on here. The OP uses a pretty broad definition (Kraftwerk, Bowie, Neneh Cherry, Little Richard etc) so I've assumed that really we're talking about classical vs everything else as opposed to focusing on really poppy throw away type stuff.

nooka · 05/02/2016 02:23

But then again pretty much anything is better than the music that is made to be sold to small children!

Oh and Maestro I beg to differ re this thread, the first post said pop music was 'fine for some' and 'saddened' her (although I initially thought it was a bit of a piss take) while the second one said they hated pop. Then some people said how much they enjoyed pop music and you appeared with your pop music is fast food compared to the fine cuisine that is classical. I can't really see how that could be taken as anything but snobbery!

Toraleistripe · 05/02/2016 08:13

Wow. How pretentious some people are. I like Satie and Copeland and Vaughan Williams for instance. But I love The Smiths, Kraftwerk, some serious hiphop and tons of other stuff.

There is room for everything surely? All this banging on about how pop songs can't compare....well so what? There is still creativity and skills and talent to write or produce good pop music.

Backingvocals · 05/02/2016 09:25

Telling people their choice of music "saddens" you is hardly an open-hearted discussion. I find it joyful that people love music. Personally I don't get Harrison Birtwistle at all - I went to a concert and was slightly boggled that people could hear something amazing. I really couldn't. But it would be totally odd of me to tell those people they were wrong and if only they had my learning they would know better Hmm

UnDeuxTroisCatsSank · 05/02/2016 10:23

I am intrigued by the notion that no pop stands up to any classical....

Look at literature and drama....

There's no way any Jeffery Archer novel compares to any Jane Austin novel, but there are plenty of modern novels which are up there with the best of literature.

I feel sure there are some pop songs which have the depth and meaning of the classics.

Maestro · 05/02/2016 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleTreeFrog · 05/02/2016 14:00

Nobody said that pop music was evil, or that it shouldn't be played to children, but people then got defensive that their choice of pop music must be every bit as powerful as the great works, which is, frankly, ignorant.

I disagree, and I think think pop and classical music serve entirely different purposes, and different tastes...

For one person, a Taylor Swift track might be more "powerful", inspiring, and relevant to their ear than any classical piece would. Who is to say that certain pieces of music are objectively better than others? Beauty is subjective.

Quality and beauty can't just be based on complexity or intelligence of a piece... A simple pop melody, might fulfil the purpose of inspiring someone to feel joy and move their feet, moreso than a beautiful or complex classical piece... Whereas the classical piece might better fulfil the purpose of inspiring the mind, or provoking a range of different emotions...

It's a really interesting philosophical subject - aesthetics - and there are no right or wrong answers, the "snobs" and the pop defenders on this thread all represent different philosophical viewpoints.

NewLife4Me · 05/02/2016 15:37

Pop music is great for a boogie, but of course it doesn't stand up to many other genres of music including Jazz, folk, R&B, Classical etc.
It's hardly rocket science learning how to play 2, 3 or 4 chords at the most Grin
Yes, you may like it as I like some, but the musicians who work to perfect their trade have forgotten more than any pop star has ever learned.
It's like comparing a Doctorate with a GCSE Grin
GCSE is fine btw.

Backingvocals · 05/02/2016 16:55

Pop is folk, jazz, R&B Confused. Simon & Garfunkel were inspired by folk music but wanted to incorporate an R&B vibe. Blues grew out of folk and African music. Soul melds blues and jazz....

IPityThePontipines · 05/02/2016 17:39

As if there aren't any classically trained pop musicians or composers either Hmm

And indeed, jazz and blues were genres of music developed by people who would never be able to access a classical music education.

The "classical music is superior to all argument" is saying that a branch of music developed and dominated by white men is better then anything anyone else can come up with. It's a very unpleasant argument and shows tremendous ignorance.

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