Guest post: "Let's share our stories, and show how systemic maternity discrimination is"

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

In 2011 I was made redundant and decided to take the terrifying leap from the safe embrace of PAYE to become, like 1.5 million other women in the UK, self-employed. I had some niche skills and good experience in a rapidly expanding new industry, so it seemed like the perfect time to give it a go. Things went better than I could have hoped; I took on some really exciting clients and was designing and initiating my own projects, which was something I loved doing. Then, in the Spring of 2013, I discovered I was pregnant.

I knew that having a baby would mean I lost some of my momentum with my freelance work, and of course I anticipated some financial belt-tightening, but I planned everything meticulously to ensure that my clients and projects would be well looked after in my absence.

I was four months pregnant when I announced news of my pregnancy to my main client. I had designed, developed and secured the funding for a huge project we were working on together and we were about seven months into the process. I had mapped out the rest of the project for them to ensure there wouldn't be any problems. I had a fantastic replacement ready to step into my shoes as soon as my maternity leave started and was confident that the remainder of the project would be executed exactly according to plan.

Without any further communication, I was sacked.

My contract was rescinded immediately and I was told to hand over all of the resources. I was devastated. I had poured my heart into that project, and suddenly I found myself four months pregnant with a huge hole in my income. How was I going to pick up any more contracts before I had the baby? Nobody would employ a visibly pregnant woman. I contacted a solicitor but was told that as it was a matter involving contract law, not employment law, and that winning a court case against my now former client would be extremely unlikely. The doctor told me not to get stressed.

My experience isn't an isolated incident. 50,000 women a year lose their jobs because of maternity discrimination. That figure doesn't account for women who are demoted, suffer harassment, aren't put forward for promotion or lose contracts if they are self-employed. The problem is systemic and it is systematically being ignored. Since the Conservative Party introduced new fees for employees to use the Tribunal system, there has been a 70% decrease in Employment Tribunals: many discrimination cases are very hard to prove, so when you have more to lose financially, you are far less likely to take the risk. This is especially true if you are pregnant or have just had a baby - you're in a very vulnerable position, and need to do everything in your power to provide for your family.

As the law stands, from the point at which you have been subjected to any kind of workplace discrimination you usually have three months to take a case to Tribunal. For maternity discrimination, those three months usually come at a time when you are exhausted, lacking in confidence and knee-deep in baby poo. Making your lunch every day can feel like climbing Mount Everest; masterminding an Employment Tribunal would feel nigh-on impossible.

The problem is twofold: the law does not protect pregnant women or new mothers effectively; and too many employers believe that once a woman becomes pregnant she loses her drive, her ambition and/or her mind. Such discrimination can cause us to withdraw and many don't return to their previous careers - some by choice, others because their confidence has been shattered.

So what can be done? I believe that a major factor in any societal change is enabling people to recognise that they are not alone. I want to tell women: this isn't just ‘something that happened to you’, or ‘bad luck’, this is systemic, and illegal, and you did nothing wrong. I decided to set up Pregnant Then Screwed - a new project designed to expose these problems and injustices, by sharing the real stories of real women who have suffered this type of discrimination - so that women can see that this kind of injustice is happening every day.

The site has been going for a couple of weeks now, and it's incredible to see how the women who've shared their stories have dealt with their painful experiences, at times when they are at their most vulnerable. Despite their terrible treatment, in many cases, these new mothers dust themselves off, pick themselves up and achieve just as much as before - if not more. If you've got a story to tell, I'd really appreciate you sharing it with us. I hope that together, our voice will be much stronger, and we can make a case for recognition, respect and change.

I only just read your post 'Enjoyingmycoffee1981' - really interesting that you have made such a comment considering that the post is about how this type of discrimination can shatter your confidence. It certainly shattered mine, for a long time I believed that it was my fault, that I was to blame. It took me 2 years before I realised that I was the victim. Immediately before I told them I was pregnant, they sent me my contract, I naively told them I was pregnant before I signed it, that was partly my downfall - but if I had been so terrible why would they issue me with a contract? Losing that contract was ultimately the best thing that could have happened to me. If I had continued working on it I would not have gone on to secure funding and contracts that have allowed me to produce work I am very, very proud of.

I find it very worrying that as a woman, I am posting a story on a website to other women about the discrimination and sexism we have to suffer in the workplace. I want to expose this problem to help other women. Rather than be supportive, you are insinuating that women who lose their jobs when they are pregnant are at fault. If we, as mothers, can't support each other, what hope do we have of our bosses and colleagues supporting us?

I work within FE, have done for seven years. I love my job, my classes, ha a lot o responsibility from a young age and had unbeatable retention, success and attendance figures. I started my pregnancy lovely. My boss and her immediate line manager were thrilled. Everything was great. Until we informed HR. After that it all went t*ts up. HR is based on an entirely different campus. 30 miles away. So I had I send my maternity certificate through internal post. Twice I sent it. And twice HR claimed they had never got it. The third time I drove to them and handed it in personally. After that it got much worse. No risk assessments were completed until two days before I left for maternity. Which I had to do myself. When I questioned this I was ignored. My plan was to start ML the day the students broke up for summer and be back for the start of spring term in January. Alway had been from day one and was stated clearly on all of the paperwork. Whilst on ML I asked to use a KIT day. I was refused. When I asked to meet the guy who was covering me so I could see how he was getting on with groups, what he had covered (I left a very detailed plan as my course runs over two years), assessment records etc. My boss refused me. So I went in anyway. It was then that I found out that the guy covering wasn't covering me. He had replaced me. With the phrase "oh but we were convinced that once you had LO you wouldn't be coming back to work". When I asked about coming back, they all just laughed.

It was four days to the end of the first term. A week before Christmas when they finally realised I was serious. Five months (first month was accrued holiday) it took to convince them that just because I had a baby doesn't mean I want to leave my job. The kicker I couldn't have that job back, because "it wouldn't be fair" to the new guy. Ok and this is fair to me how?! So I came back. All be it in a department so far detached from mine it may as well have been in Alaska. (I teach a very, very specialise subject) I spent a year there. I enjoyed the classes. I enjoyed the change. But it wasn't what I loved doing. It wasn't my job. The end of the year comes around and it gets better. Suddenly I'm no longer qualified to go back to my old job. Really because I was for the five years previous to my child, I was too young to be in the position I was, there was no place for me there anymore because of my other commitments and I was no longer allowed to wear nail varnish, heels and skirts below the knee. The final blow? After my child was hospitalised I obviously called to say I wouldn't be in the next day but I had left work for all classes to be getting on with and they would be able to contact me when they needed me. I was told over email when I returned that in no uncertain terms can that happen again and that I needed to sort my priorities out.

Needless to say I am looking for other employment. The problem, it's so specialised that once your in the role, you very rarely come out of it.

I had been working in a nursing home for 10 years when we were taken over and everything changed drastically.
I'd always wanted to be a surrogate and it took me years to persuade my husband, he finally caved in and we found a couple to help. We had IVF and it was confirmed I was pregnant 2 weeks later.
All the changes at work were for the worst and I suffered a miscarriage. 3 months passed and I had IVF for a second time. Again the stress from work caused a miscarriage so I decided not to go ahead for a third and final time until I was in a less stressful situation.
It was announced the home was closing down and I was made redundant. I found a job in an accountants more or less immediately.
I made it clear at interview I hadn't had recent accounts experience and never within an accountants, I was promised training and offered the job.

Within four months I was feeling much more positive so I told my couple I'd like to try for the final round of IVF for them.
I informed my employers and was told that I was supported and how much they admired me.
I was confirmed pregnant in February 2014 and informed my employers at 8 weeks.
Shortly after I had begun to feel uneasy at work, I was being pulled from pillar to post between our two offices.
In one office everything was fine and I was getting on well, in the other it seemed I could nothing right. Because of this I asked about training and was put off time and again.
I would follow written instructions from my manager only to be told once I'd completed the work that I had done it wrong, even after following HER written instructions.
I had to have a couple of early scans due to bleeding and was advised to keep the stress levels to the very minimum in order to hold onto this surrogate pregnancy.
It had got so bad at work I started not wanting to go to that office in fear of being told I was useless and just the thought of going would make me feel sick and bring me to tears.
On a Friday afternoon in June, when I was 16 weeks pregnant, I was told one of the Directors wanted to have a 'word' with me on the Monday. I asked him if I needed anyone with me, his response was 'No, not unless you want to'.
I asked my manager from the office where I hadn't got any problems and she agreed to come in to the meeting with me. It was there that I was greeted by the director and the woman from the HR department and told that as I kept making mistakes, I was being offered a settlement to leave. It was said that as I was pregnant, they realised that I may find it difficult to get work so I was offered £4000 and told I had until Friday that week to make my decision, and should I chose not to accept, I would face disciplinary procedures which could lead to my dismissal.
It took all the strength I could muster to not break down in that meeting.

I was totally mortified and broke down as we left the room. My manager who was with me kept saying she couldn't believe it, there was no need as far as she was concerned there were no problems with my work. She advised me to go home as I was in such a state. I got my bag and said I'd be back the following day but I couldn't return.
I was totally ashamed and made to feel as though I was incapable, I hadn't stopped crying, my eyes were swollen and I hadn't slept. All the time I kept thinking 'think of the baby, think of the baby'.

I decided I had had enough, I would accept the offer as it had started to become unbearable anyway. I was sent the agreement by email from the HR woman and I found a solicitor.
My solicitor went through everything with me. I provided emails I had sent to one of the directors expressing my concerns about the manager in the office where I apparently kept making mistakes, where I had requested training as promised at interview and my solicitor asked if they had offered me extra support for my role or provided me with extra training or taken into consideration tiredness and lack of concentration. None of these had.
The solicitor asked me if £4000 would cover what I would have earned had I returned to work straight after the baby was born which had been my intention. It didn't. My monthly wage was calculated plus maternity leave I would have been entitled to, we asked for £10000. This was refused but they agreed to £6500 plus full maternity pay which would make the total roughly £8000. I accepted as I thought I had to, I signed the amended agreement which when I read, stated I had 10 working days to make my decision from the initial meeting. I was told I had 4 days and threatened with disciplinary action and possible termination of employment.

I went on to have a healthy baby boy for my couple. He is now 9 months old and I'm proud I was able to help them but I nearly lost him too, caused by the amount of stress I was put under throughout my pregnancy by those employers.

To add insult to injury - my husband took 4 weeks pat leave to care for me as I had previously had spinal surgery and was having a planned c section. He requested his 2 weeks statutory paternity pay as he would have to look after me following surgery.
His employer denied his right stating that as we didn't have a baby to care for he was not entitled even though the Maternity Action Group state as the husband of a birth mother he is.
We took it as far as we could, disputing with HMRC who had never come across the situation before, again we were told that as we were not caring for the child he was not entitled.
I questioned what happens in the awful cases of still births, do the fathers not get any pay then as there is no baby and was told no, they dont. It is only paid to those who are caring for the child born.
What a crock of shit!

lulu I feel discriminated against just reading your posts. I'm really glad I'm not a teacher in your school! And very glad my Head jumped for joy when I told him I was pregnant and bent over backwards when I got diagnosed with hyperemesis. I won't trouble you with stories of me being sick in my classroom sink as I tried to prepare my GCSE class for their exam. I'm not sure you'd be able to see me very well from up on your high horse! Jeeze, talk about giving pregnant women a bad name!