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Guest post: "Let's share our stories, and show how systemic maternity discrimination is"

55 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 27/03/2015 13:10

In 2011 I was made redundant and decided to take the terrifying leap from the safe embrace of PAYE to become, like 1.5 million other women in the UK, self-employed. I had some niche skills and good experience in a rapidly expanding new industry, so it seemed like the perfect time to give it a go. Things went better than I could have hoped; I took on some really exciting clients and was designing and initiating my own projects, which was something I loved doing. Then, in the Spring of 2013, I discovered I was pregnant.

I knew that having a baby would mean I lost some of my momentum with my freelance work, and of course I anticipated some financial belt-tightening, but I planned everything meticulously to ensure that my clients and projects would be well looked after in my absence.

I was four months pregnant when I announced news of my pregnancy to my main client. I had designed, developed and secured the funding for a huge project we were working on together and we were about seven months into the process. I had mapped out the rest of the project for them to ensure there wouldn't be any problems. I had a fantastic replacement ready to step into my shoes as soon as my maternity leave started and was confident that the remainder of the project would be executed exactly according to plan.

Without any further communication, I was sacked.

My contract was rescinded immediately and I was told to hand over all of the resources. I was devastated. I had poured my heart into that project, and suddenly I found myself four months pregnant with a huge hole in my income. How was I going to pick up any more contracts before I had the baby? Nobody would employ a visibly pregnant woman. I contacted a solicitor but was told that as it was a matter involving contract law, not employment law, and that winning a court case against my now former client would be extremely unlikely. The doctor told me not to get stressed.

My experience isn't an isolated incident. 50,000 women a year lose their jobs because of maternity discrimination. That figure doesn't account for women who are demoted, suffer harassment, aren't put forward for promotion or lose contracts if they are self-employed. The problem is systemic and it is systematically being ignored. Since the Conservative Party introduced new fees for employees to use the Tribunal system, there has been a 70% decrease in Employment Tribunals: many discrimination cases are very hard to prove, so when you have more to lose financially, you are far less likely to take the risk. This is especially true if you are pregnant or have just had a baby - you're in a very vulnerable position, and need to do everything in your power to provide for your family.

As the law stands, from the point at which you have been subjected to any kind of workplace discrimination you usually have three months to take a case to Tribunal. For maternity discrimination, those three months usually come at a time when you are exhausted, lacking in confidence and knee-deep in baby poo. Making your lunch every day can feel like climbing Mount Everest; masterminding an Employment Tribunal would feel nigh-on impossible.

The problem is twofold: the law does not protect pregnant women or new mothers effectively; and too many employers believe that once a woman becomes pregnant she loses her drive, her ambition and/or her mind. Such discrimination can cause us to withdraw and many don't return to their previous careers - some by choice, others because their confidence has been shattered.

So what can be done? I believe that a major factor in any societal change is enabling people to recognise that they are not alone. I want to tell women: this isn't just ‘something that happened to you’, or ‘bad luck’, this is systemic, and illegal, and you did nothing wrong. I decided to set up Pregnant Then Screwed - a new project designed to expose these problems and injustices, by sharing the real stories of real women who have suffered this type of discrimination - so that women can see that this kind of injustice is happening every day.

The site has been going for a couple of weeks now, and it's incredible to see how the women who've shared their stories have dealt with their painful experiences, at times when they are at their most vulnerable. Despite their terrible treatment, in many cases, these new mothers dust themselves off, pick themselves up and achieve just as much as before - if not more. If you've got a story to tell, I'd really appreciate you sharing it with us. I hope that together, our voice will be much stronger, and we can make a case for recognition, respect and change.

OP posts:
TensionWheelsCoolHeels · 28/03/2015 09:19

When I returned to work after 8 mths off in ML, I was placed in the most junior role in my dept 'to ease me back in' and had to fight for 6 mths to be allowed to return to the job I'd worked prior to ML, successfully, for 15 years. I was frustrated by the endless meetings I had, trying to argue that Id not suddenly lost the ability to do my job just because I'd had a baby, to be faced with the repeated comments about how I wasn't as focused on my role because my DD was now my priority & they were trying to help me by taking responsibility away from me so I could just come in & leave without too much pressure. I was still paid the same wage, and my role/level hadn't changed, so they couldn't understand why I wasn't happy. The main person involved in this was a woman who believed that once you were a mum, you shouldn't work/should put your child 1st & downgrade your work to be able to do that. Eventually a (male) colleague, who was temporarily promoted while my female boss went to work on a project, questioned why the dept was not using my knowledge & experience to its full benefit. After 6 mths of me saying exactly that, it took a man saying it for someone to suddenly hear what I was saying. As much as I was grateful he's stepped up for me, it rankled hugely that it took a male voice to suddenly make the 'big boss' listen what I'd been saying for 6 mths.

Since returning to work part time, I've not been promoted in 10 years. Plenty less experience colleagues have been promoted, but the part time part of my existence means that no matter how well I do my job, how much I demonstrate the achievements I've had & highlight my value to the company, I'll never be promoted.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 28/03/2015 09:31

It's the responsibility of senior management to keep the service running. They need to sort decent, reliable cover. They need to do proper risk assessments and remove pregnant women from potentially harmful situsituations, which may mean break duty on rowdy corridors, and not pass the burden onto overworked colleagues. It's their responsibility, not the responsibility of individual staff members who have a right to be kept safe and healthy during pregnancy. Just as other members of staff may get ill or injured and have their capacity temporarily reduced and management have to cover it. That's your job and your responsibility. To suggest that women shouldn't have their babies two years apart because it might inconvenience their employers is outrageous, completely horrifying. And to then justify men getting the 'big promotions' on that basis and blaming women for it.. On a thread about the discrimination women routinely face for maternity, it really proves the point - and it's clearly not just men who are discriminating.

JobofMum · 28/03/2015 09:39

Love this article and the website. As an employment solicitor and mum of 2 I am often completely bewildered by how wrong employers get the handling of pregnant employees and those on maternity leave. So many employers seem to have the 'out of sight, out of mind' approach. Pregnant woman and new mums on maternity leave have enhanced protection in many ways, for example, if a redundancy process is started and their job is effected. It is about knowing your rights and standing up for yourself. I do understand work isn't your first priority at this time, so it can make the whole situation extremely stressful (with a new baby on board!) but there are ways and means to ensure that your employment rights are protected during this time. Don't get me wrong, their are also employers who handle pregnancy and maternity issues to the letter and I think these employers should be commended, given that others don't take the time or have the inclination to ensure that they are handling these employees correctly.

RueDeWakening · 28/03/2015 10:10

The company I worked for forgot all about me when I was on mat leave, restructured my entire department in my absence, then gave me 3 days notice of redundancy rather than the 3 months my contract stipulated. I can't say anything else about it due to the compromise agreement I signed (they paid me not to make a fuss, in essence).

lateatwork · 28/03/2015 10:22

it feels like a double whammy when you experience this type of discrimination. it is different being pregnant. its not like you can walk into another job heavily pregnant (which is a whole other issue..as you should be able to), so you lose the job you are currently doing (and the income associated with it), cant get another job to replace the income (cause you are heavily pregnant) and then it is really hard to juggle trying to get back into the workplace after you have just given birth (to try and replace the income you lost cause you were pregnant...). If you make it to maternity leave, there is some level of protection and in some ways I wish it had happened to me after I had given birth as then I wouldnt have had to have gone through the rediculous amount of stress, anxiety and general crapness that I endured right up to the day (oh yes, the day...) i gave birth to twins. the thing is, 'speaking up' about it, making a fuss- doesnt change anything imho- it just acts as a barrier. My experience was the crappiest of crapness and i still feel burnt by the whole thing- but i would much rather scream the good examples from the rooftops so then people start to think that hey, that is the way it should happen. I want my experience to be an exception- not the norm- so why not drive home what looks good?

metoonow · 28/03/2015 10:36

I have two stories

metoonow · 28/03/2015 10:45

sorry posted too soon.
One of my stories I have posted on here already under my usual name I won't be adding it to this thread because I don't feel it has quite gone in the direction intended. Yes we all know there are people who take the piss however I would guess that far more are discriminated against than take the piss and of course the fact that some people misbehave doesn't make discrimination and breaking the law right (or excuse it).

My other story I find quite funny, I used to work as a medical registrar in a large teaching hospital. I went to my GP asking her to write a note saying that once beyond 38 weeks I should be excused carrying the crash bleep when on call and she basically refused (on the basis that she had worked as a GP when she was pregnant Hmm)
I ended up having to go another route sadly what should have been simply (and given them several weeks notice) became enormously complicated and ended up being quite short notice.

Does anyone do repetitive sprinting successfully (including up stairs) when 38 weeks pregnant day and night, even if only for 24 hours!!

metoonow · 28/03/2015 10:48

I will add late I am not sure it is so 'different making it to maternity leave' both times have similar protection in law I think (although of course lots of employers don't stick to it)
It is a while since I have looked into it though

GrimDamnFanjo · 28/03/2015 12:43

In my first pregnancy, myself and the only other pregnant woman were refused an annual pay rise as we hadn't been at work for the whole of the year due to taking a period of mat leave.
It took me to remind them of my deadline for filing for tribunal before we got the rise. This was with a very well known national charity.
My deputy who had covered my leave was promoted to the same level so reported to my boss and not myself when I returned. My responsibilities and projects were split with her without any discussion. It took me just 4 weeks to find another job.

During my next mat leave there was a restructure and my job and responsibilities downgraded (I was removed from the management board and my place was taken by a new post I had to report to instead of the CEO). I was told that as my grade remained the same and at the same pay it was the same job! This was the civil service.

I didn't return.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 28/03/2015 16:22

What strikes me about the OP is that the relationship with her main client, the one that withdrew the moment she told them she was pregnant, was how appalling the relationship between them just have been prior to the announcement, for this to have happened "without further communication, I was sacked".

Undoubtedly unfair, I am appalled in fact, but it strikes me that in some circumstances, employers do not go out if their way for women on maternity leave, simply because they were not highly regarded pre pregnancy, and their departure would be welcomed.

Certainly I did not encounter discrimination! I worked in an organisation hardly at the forefront of maternity rights. Quite the opposite in fact... A large male dominated very "old school" company. Likewise, other women in my team who went on maternity leave were treated very fairly and actively encouraged to return, and kept fully informed of developments. These women were damn good employees. I do recall a woman who went on maternity leave who no one thought very highly of. She really didn't contribute much at throughout her years of service pre pregnancy. When she said she wouldn't be returning, we all breathed a sigh of relief.

It's unfair, but I wonder that it doesn't occur to people that perhaps they weren't all that highly regarded and, as unfair as it may seem, maternity leave is a way of squeezing "dead wood" out.

Phineyj · 28/03/2015 17:41

But the rights you have are not dependent on how 'highly regarded' you are - or shouldn't be...

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 28/03/2015 17:53

Oh I agree Phiney.

However, I would say that if the discussion is going to be a genuinely open and honest one, this dimension should be considered. A client is not going to sack someone without any communication, without there being a back story.

ScottishDiblet · 28/03/2015 18:27

Just to put another side on here. I work in the civil service and was on a rolling fixed term contract for three years that they wanted to make permanent but couldn't because of the hiring freeze. When I was 36 weeks pregnant and about to go on maternity leave, with no idea if I was going to get enhanced mat pay and a job to come back to, they made me permanent! I asked to come back three days a week and they found a way to make it work. It has been amazing, they respect my need to leave at 5pm to collect my dc from nursery and I am very very happy.

SummerSazz · 28/03/2015 18:30

I took 'voluntary redundancy' via a compromise agreement too. Not too much voluntary about my story or many others I imagine....

PterodactylTeaParty · 28/03/2015 22:16

It's unfair, but I wonder that it doesn't occur to people that perhaps they weren't all that highly regarded and, as unfair as it may seem, maternity leave is a way of squeezing "dead wood" out.

Hmm

I'm not going to claim that's never happened to anybody anywhere, but if you think this only happens to women who aren't as good employees as you you are kidding yourself. As with other types of sexism, you can't guarantee this will never happen to you just because you're better than those other women.

(fyi, I had my line manager and his line manager fighting to keep me, not that it helped much.)

YonicScrewdriver · 29/03/2015 00:51

There's some quote about how we will know we have equality when there are as many mediocre women as mediocre men in positions of power...

If any employee is underperforming, performance management is in order. Male, female, pregnant, sick - not relevant.

Giantbabymama · 29/03/2015 16:41

I am a Brit expat in the Gulf and I was made redundant while 7 months pregnant last year. I have been sitting here thinking wistfully of the UK, ie what happened to me here couldn't happen in the UK but clearly I was wrong! I can't believe the way people on this thread have been treated!

I too had terrible sickness, so bad that I had to work from home for several weeks as there was no way I could go out and about in the summer heat here. Unfortunately this episode came not long after when I had to take six weeks off to care for my Mum in the UK before she died and I think it meant my employer couldn't wait to get rid of me when they started making cuts due to a dip in sales as through no fault of my own, as far as they were concerned, I was unreliable. Other people got made redundant but I was the first out the door, and I should add that two other women in my department had previously been made redundant while on maternity leave. And, my boss asked me to work freelance for company around the time my baby was due, but for HALF the market rate. I said no.

You could argue that they have done me a favour as they are clearly an awful company to work for, , but it is not nice being effective sacked while pregnant, and I am really not sure what my next career move will be as it has sapped my confidence quite a lot.

Everstrong · 29/03/2015 17:01

I had a terrible experience when I was pregnant with my now ex employer attempting to make me redundant. I had consistently achieved more than the targets set for me, had several bonuses for getting good results and increased the turnover of my department significantly. All of my appraisals and head office meetings were positive and they told me I could go "up the ladder" if I wanted too (before I was pregnant obviously!) so it was a surprise they wanted rid of me.

When it was time to go back to work, I asked my manager if I could work 4 long days (which was exactly what I was doing BEFORE I was pregnant and infact ever since I started working for the company). She said no that it wouldn't work (it worked perfectly well before I was pregnant so why wouldn't work afterwards!).

Luckily I was offered another job at a rival company but I would say my confidence has never really recovered. Despite knowing my ability to do my job wasn't the problem (I got headhunted for my next role) I felt totally crap and like all of my superiors had decided I was terrible at my job and had to get rid of me but wouldn't be upfront about it.

I've changed jobs again since then and now work part time. There are lots of working mums in my department and we feel very frustrated that we don't have the same opportunities as others. If you ask to go on a training course, it's "well you're only here a few days a week so we can't really spare you for training" even if it would significantly benefit the team. If a promotion comes up and you enquire, they say "oh we only want someone full time for this role," so you don't even get a look in (there are enough of us part time to make job sharing workable)

Our senior managers openly "joke" with the women of child bearing age about being pregnant. E.g "oh Everstrong, not pregnant are you?! We couldn't cope with that!"

One of my colleagues is currently 7 months pregnant and has been very ill during her pregnancy, our line manager is treating her terribly, having her standing all day despite the fact she has severe SPD because, as our manager says "pregnancy is not an illness."

I think employers need to realise that if you want women to come back as motivated as ever when they've been on mat leave, you need to be considerate to them whilst they are pregnant. People who "swing the lead" or are "lazy" when they are pregnant didn't get that way just because they are pregnant, they've just never been bothered!! The rest of us who take pride in our work and are there to do well don't suddenly stop caring because we've had a child. I think there is a real danger of employers losing skilled and dedicated staff by making part time work so unattractive (I.e less promotion and training prospects) that some women will decide it's not worth the hassle (especially given that childcare is so expensive) and leave the working environment all together. There's only so much pressure and discrimination people can take!

FanFuckingTastic · 29/03/2015 17:19

I once worked as a trainee at an IT company where the boss would have rants about women in the workplace. As I was the only female employee in the company, which was smallish, I got really concerned about my job security. He would often say he could get away without paying maternity leave for any woman who got pregnant, it was all a case of knowing the right people and the right approach. I left the company for another and had a baby in the six months following, and all that time he wanted me to come back, despite being a mother. I told him where to stick his "despite". In polite terms of course.

FanFuckingTastic · 29/03/2015 17:20

And in interviews I've been frequently asked about my parental status and if I had any plans to have children, I wonder why... there could be no reason other than that they plan to discriminate against women who admit to either being or wanting to be a mother.

hilzypop · 29/03/2015 21:25

I had a vey bad experience while working at a local authority. I was on a temporary contract with lots of scope and opertunities to be made permenant. . .or so I thought! I waited until i was 20weeks to tell my employer as I didnt want my pregnancy to count against me. My male boss was perfectly nice when i told him but seemed to think i would want to give up work once i had a baby. I was side lined from projects and put on light duties.
When my job came up as permenant i wasnt invited to apply for it, but i did anyway, i was taken to one side and asked why on earth have you applied for your job? your having a baby! I explained my motovations such as seeing through projects. I was patronisingly told my priorities would change and once i had my baby i wouldnt want the job. He said that he couldnt discriminate against me and would have to interview me. Unsurprisingly i didnt get the job and was told this was because that i hadnt grown into my job as he expected- this wasnt something i had ever been made aware of before! He also said he discussed the interview with his wife(she doesnt have anything to do with or work at the local authority) and they had agreed my priorites would change.
I applied for lots of other posts and went to 2 interviews for permenant posts at 7.5 months pregnant. Nothing much was said about me being pregnant apart from it could be a problem as i couldnt start soon but i didnt get the jobs.

I made complaints about how i was treated but nothing was done. I was warned about being a trouble maker and burning bridges. I was too upset to say or do anything.

Soon after i had my baby i applied for another job with another local authority I got the job and told i was an outstanding candidate- they didnt know i had a two month old!

I am still so angry about what happened and wouldnt wish anyone else to go through what i went through.

DaffyDuck88 · 29/03/2015 22:21

I was made redundant just prior to commencing maternity leave. Very stressful situation as my employer had threatened me with it in a 1:1 session long before the official process had begun. Added to that when I came out of the meeting distressed as a result of this threat, upon enquiring if I was ok, a colleague was surprised, and said - Oh God, did she tell you that already?. So it was already being discussed between her and other staff members. Very shocking to be let down by colleagues like that. I was also cut out from large portions of my role (marketing) and expected to manage the more physical side of things on my own. Very stressful time and as an older mum to be I was very conscious of how stress physically affected me and fearful of any risks to my pfb. A really horrible time, but as DP and friends pointed out, the idea of still having to work with that woman and negotiate my hours in terms of childcare would have been even more of a nightmare. I contacted ACAS and Maternity Action who all agreed I was being discriminated against but the ACAS contact I spoke with explained a complaint process would take time and considerable toll on me - did I really want to go through it in my condition? Then, no I didn't. Any other time I would have fought tooth and nail.

Queenmarigold · 30/03/2015 09:46

My company told me I had lost the right to my existing job. I told them that I had a right to a job so they had better find one.
The one they suggested was significantly below my job grade and experience - a management position to an admin position. I took legal advice and made them pay up, then went and got another, better job.

I regret nothing and am proud of the ballsy way I handled it. I sincerely doubt they have learned a single thing; I have never hear such wringing of hands over an employee who 'got the wrong idea' Really. Funny that you paid up then.

JoeliBrearley · 30/03/2015 13:09

Thanks for all your comments ladies. It is very clear that some of you have experienced horrific discrimination at work. I would be really grateful if you would post your stories on the site? You can copy and paste them into here: pregnantthenscrewed.com/post-a-story/ all stories are anonymous.

Lulu - it is clear you feel frustrated that you and others in your team have had to deal with an additional work load as someone has taken maternity leave. If you take a different perspective with this though, do you not think that this is the fault of your organisation? That they are not set up in a way that supports women to take the leave they are entitled to.

textfan · 31/03/2015 01:52

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