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Guest post: Professor Tanya Byron: 'Please don't feel embarrassed if your child needs mental health support'

53 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 18/02/2015 11:54

"The stigma around mental health means that many children do not get the help that they so badly need," The Duchess of Cambridge at the start of this, the first ever Children's Mental Health week. "This needs to change."

Personally, as a clinical psychologist specialising in working with children and adolescents, I have seen many times how helping children to develop the skills to understand and manage their emotions can change the course of a life. And yet, Place2Be's recent research found that almost a third of parents admitted they would feel embarrassed if their child wanted counselling in school.

As The Duchess points out in , if a child broke their arm, as parents we wouldn't hesitate to get them help. But the story is different when it comes to mental health.

Of course all parents want the best for their children, but admitting you might not be able to solve all your child's problems is really tough. It may feel like admitting failure, but sometimes the best thing you can do for your child is ask for help.

Three children in every classroom in this country have a diagnosable mental health issue and half of all adult mental health problems will start by the age of 14. That means, if you have a child or teenager who is struggling to cope with daily life, you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of parents out there feeling just how you feel. But remember, without help many of those children will go on to face a lifetime of mental illness.

As well as the age-old problems of bullying, family breakdown, neglect, domestic abuse and bereavement, children face additional pressures, exacerbated by the technologies that at the same time make our lives easier. All this can be overwhelming, leading to issues such as depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders or even self-harm.

It doesn't have to be like this. With support from an early age, problems in childhood can be prevented from turning into something more complex and serious later on. Children need to be equipped with the skills and emotional intelligence to handle whatever life may throw at them. Then they'll be less likely to reach for unhealthy and unsafe coping strategies, such as self-harm or alcohol and drug abuse.

Place2Be works within schools to offer support for children, parents and staff. Currently it works in 235 schools, supporting 94,000 children aged from four to 14. Children who have Place2Be's one-to-one counselling show significant improvement in their emotional wellbeing and friendships, with fewer behavioural difficulties. Teachers report that improvements in these areas have a positive impact on children's classroom learning, and 84% of parents felt it helped their child’s problems and improved their home life, too.

We know of course that parents are only one part of the puzzle, which is why charities like Place2Be are calling on the government to make support services more accessible.

But until then, if your child asks you if they can speak to a counsellor in school, please encourage them to accept the offer. In fact, praise them for it. Because as parents, one of the most valuable life skills we can teach our children is the ability to reach out for help. That one small moment could change the course of their entire lives for the better.

For Children's Mental Health Week, Place2Be is running a special Helpline for Mumsnet, providing information and guidance on children's mental health issues. The Helpline will be open from 10am till 4pm from Monday 16th to Friday 20th February. Please call 0207 923 5595 where one of our children's mental health experts will be happy to talk to you. This is a general information helpline. We are unable to offer individual counselling advice over the phone. Please visit our website for ideas on children's mental health issues.

OP posts:
MagersfonteinLugg · 23/02/2015 22:30

What really pees me off is how Woman's Hour just reported it.
Do they not have researchers to check out statistics and validity of comments from so called professionals or do they just take everything at face value?

YouAreMyRain · 23/02/2015 22:51

It's shocking. I am at Camhs at least once every week. Sometimes I bump into parents I know from the wider community and their dc. Guess what? None of us are ever embarrassed!!!
Getting help for your child = not embarrassing!

ChaiseLounger · 28/03/2015 15:45

why is there no response MN? what's the point of these threads then?

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