Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Guest posts

Guest post: 'Flexible working is essential for single parents, and we must insist on having the option'

82 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 12/12/2014 11:19

It feels like we've come a long way on flexible working. We're plugged into our smartphones picking up work outside office hours, looking at laptops perched on kitchen tables, and the quieter roads and buses on Fridays are testament to more people working from home one day a week. Even the Deputy Prime Minister is extolling its virtues.

But the statistics, and many parents' experiences, show there is still some way to go. Although there are 4 million people in the UK working full-time roles flexibly - whether that's compressed hours, home working or variable shifts - there are another 8.7 million full-time workers who want to work flexibly but aren't able to.

The lack of flexible working opportunities is one of the biggest barriers to work for single parents. They often have to balance being the sole carer for their children with earning enough to put food on the table, and more than half of the out-of-work single parents we surveyed earlier this year told us it's usually a lack of flexibility that stops them from applying for roles.

Single parent of two, Luci, gave up her successful career in advertising to take a job as a teaching assistant. She was overqualified, but the job's term-time hours and proximity to home and her children's schools made it a role she could balance with becoming a newly single parent. Now she only gets paid during the school terms, and struggles to afford the basics for her family.

Single parents like Luci are taking on more junior roles because they offer, or are perceived to offer, greater flexibility. The lack of flexible jobs is not just stopping single parents from working, it's affecting the earning capacity of those who are in work - and lower salaries and slower career progression are particularly problematic if you're the sole earner.

There are clear issues for businesses here: if they fail to offer flexibility they limit the pool of people they can recruit from. What's more, talented, experienced staff risk being under-used, stuck in limbo in roles they are overqualified for, or leaving to take flexible jobs elsewhere. Business body the CBI has now warned businesses that they must take flexible working more seriously if they want to attract and keep the best staff.

That's why we're calling on the government to make it a legal right for job applicants to request flexible working from the point of job offer, not after 6 months of being in the role, as is currently the case.

We know lots of employers are still squeamish about this. They are unsure how it would work in practice and have been slow to respond to the changing nature of our working lives - but they must realise that 9-5 is becoming increasingly outdated. There is mounting evidence that flexible working helps businesses with their bottom line - half of those surveyed by the British Chamber of Commerce reported higher productivity as a result of having introduced flexible work, and in a Regus poll, nine out of ten reported that offering flexible working options had improved staff morale.

We need to show employers that it does work, and a big part of that is sharing our success stories. That's why we've made today #FlexiWorkDay. We want parents and employers to share why flexible working is important for them, and talk openly about how they've managed it, what they've learned along the way and how it can benefit everyone.

Attitudes towards flexible working are changing, but we've still got a long way to go.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 18:29

I agree. I've got 2 teens and have had to work Friday afternoons over the years. Neither DH nor I have been at home and have felt quite uncomfortable leaving them for that length of time, but we have had no choice - and the same with after school. It's easier now that they are older teens, but in S1 or 2 it was a real worry.

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 19:20

Keeping schools open for longer is the way to go imo. Let the kids do their HW in school for an hour after classes, supervised by TAs and students from local colleges and unis (I keep banging on about this - sorry)

Most TAs do the job to have child friendly hours-I can't see them wanting stay on-I wouldn't because if I had to do that, and make my children stay, on I might as well be in a better paid job! Students would not be able to get there by the end of school.

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 19:24

If you have a partner who works long hours, part of the week away, lives with an elderly parent with dementia etc etc etc you could do with flexible working too. I don't think one section comes before another-flexible working for all. Sadly lots of jobs couldn't possibly do it.

cruikshank · 14/12/2014 19:39

If, if, if ... yes, there are all kinds of permutations of family life and the responsibilities that brings. However, I don't think, given that single parents earn less and are less likely to be working at all than married parents, that it is wrong-headed to see them, as a group, as most in the need of flexible working practices, and to ask for employers to recognise that.

And no, the fact that your partner works long hours does not mean that you are 'the same as a single parent really'. Ffs.

cruikshank · 14/12/2014 19:39

Not that you said that, you understand, but I've heard it said before in similar discussions and it really really boils my piss.

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 20:07

As do parents of disabled children, for example...

Rather than getting into competitive neediness it would make much more sense to acknowledge that large numbers of parents and carers in various forms have needs which would be met by flexiworking and work towards enshrining the right to access thst in law.

Cherriesandapples · 14/12/2014 21:11

cruikshank

My DH works 69-70 hours per week and is away from Sunday to Friday night. We don't have any support except paid child care. I work 4 days a week. He can work at weekends too. I have a friend who DH works two weeks on and two weeks off on the rigs! Just excuse their are two earners it doesn't necessarily mean that there is someone there to pick the kids up. I couldn't work at all without the flexible working I am lucky enough to have.

Cherriesandapples · 14/12/2014 21:16

A while ago he was nearly killed which really put into focus the need to keep my job. Many professional women need to keep working or risk losing their professional status. Health professionals have to have relevant CPD. Not working is not an option!

happybubblebrain · 14/12/2014 21:33

I'm a working single parent with no grandparents, relatives or friends to help out with childcare. And no car. But I have been particuarly lucky with two things - flexible working hours at work and a good nursery which drops off and picks up from school. I have managed to keep my job going only because of this. Flexible working hours will keep me a loyal employee as long as I have a child to support, employers should think about that.

happybubblebrain · 14/12/2014 21:35

I don't have an ex who has ever helped either.

cruikshank · 14/12/2014 21:37

Looks like the marrieds have taken over the thread, despite it being about single parents.

I'll leave you all to it. You can swap anecdotes about how you celebrated your child's birthday, alone, on a day you were working, and about how you catered for your childrens' Xmas, alone, with no dh there for the entire festive fortnight, most of which you had to work through, and how every time you've been ill for the last 12 years you've had to carry on parenting even when you were puking every 5 mins but hey there are nappies that need changing, and how you never, ever, have anyone to discuss the big decisions or even the little decisions with, and how tough it is to do all of that, while working full-time, with no leeway at all ... oh no, sorry; I forgot, that isn't your reality at all.

happybubblebrain · 14/12/2014 21:44

Cruikshank - it is hard being a single parent, especially when you're ill. But quite often I look at married parents and think they have a harder time than me in lots of other ways. I can't imagine going through a day with arguments about childcare or bad feelings or not being in control or nights with half a bed.

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 21:54

Cruikshank it is horrible being a single parent. If what you describe is your life, I hope things will change for you - soon, and for the better.

But although I agree that single parents do deserve to be considered as a group who have particular needs, there are a lot of people who would benefit from flexible working, and why not press for it to be available to all.

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 21:54

I hadn't realised that the OP only wanted single parents to post cruikshank Hmm

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 22:14

I was a single parent and I wasn't any better off for childcare when married since DH was out of the house from 7am-7pm with a long commute.

cruikshank · 14/12/2014 22:33

I just don't see why, on a thread about single parents, suddenly a load of married parents pop up and start bleating on about how they all need special consideration too. There are plenty of places on this forum, indeed on the internet, for married parents to talk about how hard they have it. Why do it here?

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 22:47

It came up under 'guest posts' in active threads- I can't see where it says it is about single parents other than in OP. I was a single parent for 8 yrs- in many ways it was easier for childcare because people helped. I was worse off when married as they think you don't need help and DH was out, as I said, from 7am - 7pm. Flexible working by all means but for all-( said by a former single parent. )

Micah · 14/12/2014 22:52

It's not a thread about single parents though.

It's a thread about employers having to accommodate single parents by offering flexible working.

The argument being that flexible working should be open to everyone. Not just single parents, not just parents, everyone.

Priortising a section of society like that is wrong. You can never predict whose needs are greater. You might as well say women should have the right to flexible working over men as they are more likely to be the main child carer. Statistically, that could well be, but it doesn't mean there aren't men out there who do do the bulk of childcare.

What if a lone parent remarries or cohabits? Should their flexible hours be taken off them so they can be offered to the next lone parent in need of a job?

If employers can accommodate lone parents there's no reason why the same allowance can't be made for every other employee too.

OddFodd · 14/12/2014 22:58

Forgive me for pointing out the bleeding obvious though - as a single parent, you're responsible for all the things. Not just fitting in a job around your partner's unsociable hours.

Yes, flexible working should be an option for everyone. But for single parents, raising children on a single income, it's slightly more than a nice to have. Hmm

I couldn't do it which is why I now work for myself.

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 22:58

I was much better off for childcare as a single parent- I lived near my mother. When I married I moved to an area where I knew no one.
It needs to be for everyone.

Micah · 14/12/2014 23:12

Not all single parents are responsible for all things though? Are all nrp completely uninvolved? No input on decisions regarding their child, no financial contributions? No access or looking after their child..Single parents are completely on their own?

Not my experience.

Nothing is one size fits all. Which is why you cannot say that every lone parent is more entitled than every parent with a so, or a childless person. You do not know why they might need flexible hours, and why it might be "more than nice to have" for them.

MatildaV · 14/12/2014 23:24

The guest poster is not asking for flexible working for single parents - she is asking for all employees to have the right to request flexible working patterns at the point of getting the job, rather than 6 months in. The focus on single parents is because she represents Gingerbread.

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 23:29

I don't really see why double parents are having problems accepting that single parents usually have more difficulties with childcare? On a single income? And that many of us have ex-partners who don't contribute positively but often make things more difficult? But we have to accept that it's not all roses just because you have a partner. After all, for some of us, single parenthood was preferable to being in a marriage!

Whatever. If employers try to offer flexible working to single parents only, they will find their workforce explodes into bad-natured resentments. That's why it has to be for everyone. And because most people will need it at some point in their lives, including employers, who have children too.

It's in all our interests, as a society, for the next generation to be properly looked after and supervised, and for as many parents as possible to be able to work as much as they need/want to. It's in a company's interests, if they invest in training employees, not to lose them as soon as they have childcare problems, and not to lose their talents, expertise and experience by them not being able to go for promotions.

SirChenjin · 15/12/2014 08:14

I don't have problems accepting that there are single parents who have more difficulties with childcare - just as I don't have problems accepting that there are parents in a range of other forms who have more difficulties with childcare. I don't see anyone on here claiming that - the only thing I see is a (perfectly reasonable, imo) call for flexiworking to be made available to anyone with a caring responsibility who needs it.

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/12/2014 08:37

I think it's a badly written article. What does it mean by "flexible working"? Does it mean working from home, full time? Starting early and finishing early to collect kids? Working in the evenings, when the kids are in bed?

My employer embraced flexible working big time. For everyone. It has now cut right back on this, as it really wasn't working. Some people seem to think that they can look after toddlers full time while working from home. Ever been in a teleconference that is constantly punctuated by "No James, Mummy's busy... she will get you a drink in a minute. Leave the cat alone. No, James, don't do that..." I have, and it's unprofessional. We don't want to hear your child singing Twinkle Twinkle in the background, no matter how cute you think he sounds. Hit the mute button (or better still, send him to nursery). I don't want a job interview punctuated by the full on screaming of a "tired little soldier" because you are "working" from home. Nor do I want to cover your meeting, as it falls on the day you work from home/has been scheduled too late for you to attend (be more robust and reschedule it - say "Friday doesn't work for me" rather than putting it in your calendar and then trying to find a colleague who will cover it).

The goodwill has pretty much gone - sorry. I understand that you have been in since 8, and need to leave at 4. But I've been in since 8 as well, and can't leave at 4, because you need me to cover your 4.00 meeting (which you have known about for a week, but have just dropped in my lap). I'm tired of picking up the slack, just because my kids are older and don't need an adult there when they come home from school. I don't want to do your paper filing, or sorting out your invoices, because it is half term and you are working from home, but it needs to be kept up to date. I'll do it, as will others, as I am a nice colleague, but the resentment will grow. I'd like a work life balance too.

I can see it can work, if it is only about "outputs". But the reality is that many jobs require so much more than outputs. Which is why we're now going back to the bad old days.