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Guest post: 'Flexible working is essential for single parents, and we must insist on having the option'

82 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 12/12/2014 11:19

It feels like we've come a long way on flexible working. We're plugged into our smartphones picking up work outside office hours, looking at laptops perched on kitchen tables, and the quieter roads and buses on Fridays are testament to more people working from home one day a week. Even the Deputy Prime Minister is extolling its virtues.

But the statistics, and many parents' experiences, show there is still some way to go. Although there are 4 million people in the UK working full-time roles flexibly - whether that's compressed hours, home working or variable shifts - there are another 8.7 million full-time workers who want to work flexibly but aren't able to.

The lack of flexible working opportunities is one of the biggest barriers to work for single parents. They often have to balance being the sole carer for their children with earning enough to put food on the table, and more than half of the out-of-work single parents we surveyed earlier this year told us it's usually a lack of flexibility that stops them from applying for roles.

Single parent of two, Luci, gave up her successful career in advertising to take a job as a teaching assistant. She was overqualified, but the job's term-time hours and proximity to home and her children's schools made it a role she could balance with becoming a newly single parent. Now she only gets paid during the school terms, and struggles to afford the basics for her family.

Single parents like Luci are taking on more junior roles because they offer, or are perceived to offer, greater flexibility. The lack of flexible jobs is not just stopping single parents from working, it's affecting the earning capacity of those who are in work - and lower salaries and slower career progression are particularly problematic if you're the sole earner.

There are clear issues for businesses here: if they fail to offer flexibility they limit the pool of people they can recruit from. What's more, talented, experienced staff risk being under-used, stuck in limbo in roles they are overqualified for, or leaving to take flexible jobs elsewhere. Business body the CBI has now warned businesses that they must take flexible working more seriously if they want to attract and keep the best staff.

That's why we're calling on the government to make it a legal right for job applicants to request flexible working from the point of job offer, not after 6 months of being in the role, as is currently the case.

We know lots of employers are still squeamish about this. They are unsure how it would work in practice and have been slow to respond to the changing nature of our working lives - but they must realise that 9-5 is becoming increasingly outdated. There is mounting evidence that flexible working helps businesses with their bottom line - half of those surveyed by the British Chamber of Commerce reported higher productivity as a result of having introduced flexible work, and in a Regus poll, nine out of ten reported that offering flexible working options had improved staff morale.

We need to show employers that it does work, and a big part of that is sharing our success stories. That's why we've made today #FlexiWorkDay. We want parents and employers to share why flexible working is important for them, and talk openly about how they've managed it, what they've learned along the way and how it can benefit everyone.

Attitudes towards flexible working are changing, but we've still got a long way to go.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 13/12/2014 19:12

Absolutely agree cheese. Far too many businesses hide behind the "our business can't support flexiworking" excuse.

Slowdownsally · 13/12/2014 20:25

I lost my career because I was a single parent and couldn't get flexible working. I've traded down in salary and progression, as well as moving industry.

I do think this issue affects many parents, not solely single parents, but single parents have it just that bit harder in most instances as there is no back up.

A grand parent, friend, emergency childminder etc. are all great people to have around in a crisis, if indeed you do have them, but there is no substitute for a fully invested co-parent.

I'm fortunate now to work for employers who are family friendly, but there are limited career options.

If I could work flexibly I would be in a much better position to dig myself up away from the benefits cycle.

Even though I work FT, I would be only £100 worse off a month of I halved my hours. To get away from benefits entirely (tax credits) and be more than £150 per month better off I would need to earn £10,000 more a year, which is obviously a huge leap.

It is a vicious cycle near to the bottom and I would love to be able to be better off and more independent, but until employers value part time workers the same way they value ft staff, and flexible working is a right not a privilege, people just like me will be stuck in the same poorly paying roles for the entirety of their child's school years.

Boomtownsurprise · 13/12/2014 20:49

"A grand parent, friend, emergency childminder etc. are all great people to have around in a crisis, if indeed you do have them, but there is no substitute for a fully invested co-parent."

Thoroughly agree with you. But to assume the other co parent can be flexible work wise is a massive over assumption. Two careers doesn't make it simpler.

Slowdownsally · 13/12/2014 21:04

Boomtown, it's not a massive over assumption. Two fully invested parents represents two people with options and resources to support childcare and careers. A single parent doesn't have this and it is one if the most difficult factors in working life.

SirChenjin · 13/12/2014 21:49

Two fully invested parents represents two people with options and resources to support childcare and careers

That is a massive over generalisation - and untrue in many cases. There is no such thing as a standard single parent, just as there is no such thing as a standard couple, and both can experience massive difficulties with childcare which are not mitigated simply because there is a spouse or partner - and why it's so divisive to call for single parents to be given the right to insist on flexiworking. All parents (and carers, I would suggest) should be given this right.

Hhhhmhowtochoose · 14/12/2014 01:56

When I first read this article I was happy that someone articulated what I'm going through. But seeing people's responses and comparing themselves to single parents is just disgusting.

Yes all parents should have the option of flexible working. It's ideal, but sometimes it's ok to talk about one section of society that is having a tougher time.
At the moment I'm thinking about getting a TA job because getting proper childcare with my hours is a nightmare. The way I afford working is by getting an au pair, but then I have to share a bedroom with my child. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm not in debt, I have amazing friends who support me, but ultimately I'm on my own.

There are increasing numbers of single parents and sometimes it's ok to discuss them, without everyone else moaning. It's like men complaining when discussing women's rights. Talking about one doesn't diminish the rights of the other.
Let's hope flexi working becomes a reality for ALL parents who need it, in our lifetimes.

Mehitabel6 · 14/12/2014 08:02

I would love to see the reaction if some workers became flexi - e.g teachers, child minders etc - they have the same problems but have to have set hours.

thecatfromjapan · 14/12/2014 08:26

I think it should be offered to all workers, where possible - though the 'where possible' would leave far too much room for those resisting change. If it's only for some workers, it is too divisive.
As I always say, my single parent aunt worked, but she also had an inherited private income, a house with no mortgage and staff. I'd far rather be in her position than with a partner who is there in name only (possibly because he is throwing everything at his own career ad is never there).
I'm absolutely convinced that the current set-up of intense working hours, the ideal of all parents working out of the home , plus trying to parent , is unnecessarily stressful.

FamiliesShareGerms · 14/12/2014 08:26

I thought all parents with young children already had the right to request flexible working? Confused

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 08:46

I think this article is saying that single parents must insist on having (the option of) flexiworking

susannahmoodie · 14/12/2014 08:55

The elephant in the room
Here is gender. I really think that if more men worked part time and flexible hours then it would quickly lose the stigma attached to it.

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 09:00

I agree - although that again would require a massive culture shift amongst employers.

Tron123 · 14/12/2014 09:31

Flexible working if possible should be available to all. I disagree with this article and think the suggestion unworkable. There are many groups for whom flexible working would help significantly such as single parents, all parents, children of old parents who need care. I do not think we can favour these or other groups over employees any more than the current legislation which already says if it is practicle.

juneau · 14/12/2014 10:30

But seeing people's responses and comparing themselves to single parents is just disgusting.

Why is it 'disgusting'? There are many single parents out there who have a co-parent who is very involved and who has their DC half the time, and many others who have grandparents or other family members who often do far more than a FT working partner does in terms of childcare. There is no 'one size fits all' single parent, any more than there is a 'one size fits all' parent who is part of a couple. Just because two parents live together doesn't mean that both are around FT and able or willing to share all the burdens of child-rearing.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 14/12/2014 11:44

Agree RE gender, but I don't agree that men working flexibly would take a huge shift on the part of employers. I think if men ask for it, then very often they get it, it's just that they don't ask. Mens lives tend to involve less juggling and rushing about. For example my friend works every day 8-2.30, rushes home, tidies round, goes and picks up kids, ferries them to various clubs, sorts out tea. Her husband, who works in the same field is the one to drop the kids at scool in the morning, is at work at 9.15, works a full day, and comes home before 6 to a clean house and his tea on the table. He gets the full time salary, the bonuses (she is not entitled to a bonus as a pt worker), the chance at promotion.
I know many couples who have this set up, and it always seems to be easier on the man, so I can't see friends husband saying , "you know what, my employer is already letting me start a little later than most, so why don't I really push for fewer hours so I can do the school pick up half the time? "Call me cynical, but I just can't see it.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 14/12/2014 11:52

Oh I so agree that grandparents and friends, however much they do, are not the same as another parent. And, it's bloody awful to be reliant on your parents as an adult. Your mum, or your neighbour, or your childminder may be lovely, but there is a limit to what you an ask of them, and it's very often all tied up with guilt and resentment.
And of course all single parents are not the same, but statistically lone parent families are much poorer, single parents have worse mental and physical health, and their children do worse at school so focusing on their needs once in a while is Ok, surely?

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 12:19

Not in this context, no. Flexiworking is something that benefits everyone (esp thoses with a caring responsibility) in the workplace - simply focusing on single parents as a homogeneous mass - as opposed to enshrining the right to flexiworking in law to bring about a long overdue culture shift - will do nothing to acknowledge individual need, something that I don't believe is the way forward.

SirChenjin · 14/12/2014 12:21

Apologies for the awful grammar there, DCs chattering away in my ear

juneau · 14/12/2014 12:39

Well, in terms of working I stand by what I wrote. A single parent who has his/her parents living round the corner is often more able to cope than a married person who's partner works away Mon-Fri and who has no-one else to help. Or what about the single person who cares for an elderly relative and has no one to fall back on? That's why legislating this kind of thing is dangerous - you allow one group to gain a benefit while excluding others who may have a similar level of need.

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 13:03

Ooh this is a debate so close to my heart!

For the last 30 years or so I have been a single parent and grand-parent and have direct experience of two-parent and one-parent families, both parents working and one parent working, full and part-time - but never, luckily, no-one working.

That's my point, really. People's needs change throughout their lives. So why limit it to parents? If the right to ask at the point of acceptance was extended to everyone, we would not even need to debate who deserves it and who doesn't - which is such an unproductive avenue to go down.

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 13:06

Throughout a working life one person might need flexible working at one (relatively short) period but not at another. What you 'take' (although I don't see it like that) at one time of your life, you give back - with bells on - at another.

My present employers never made it difficult or awkward for me to take time off. As a result, I feel very loyal to them, and my average absence rate is one day a term. I've been there for 12 years.

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 13:14

Me again - keep thinking of things.

Having children meant I never went for promotions and had to turn down interesting possibilities for overseas travel. But although there is a certain amount of sadness when I look back, I'm realistic enough to know that you can't have everything in life.

It depends on your priorities, but not many people can do two full-time jobs well. Flexible working for everyone would make it so much easier for carers of any age.

If people stayed for a life-time in the same company - as they often used to do - the employer could give out a set number of 'carer's vouchers' that you use up as and when you need them, at whatever stage in your life, whenever you need to be absent to look after someone else. Maybe the govt could work this into the National Insurance scheme somehow? (Not sure - haven't thought this through ...)

cruikshank · 14/12/2014 13:53

Single parents though as a group are more likely to be unemployed or earning less than others. So, something somewhere is going wrong, and perhaps it could be addressed by flexible working. Unless we're all just feckless ne'er-do-wells who can't hold down a job ...

Cherriesandapples · 14/12/2014 14:03

I think everyone should have the right to flexible working. I work flexibly and it is really good. If my little one is sick. I swap a day or work from home. The days of 9-5 are just over!

Solopower1 · 14/12/2014 15:31

Keeping schools open for longer is the way to go imo. Let the kids do their HW in school for an hour after classes, supervised by TAs and students from local colleges and unis (I keep banging on about this - sorry).

For some people their childcare problems begin when the children are 12/13. Before that you can pay for care, if you can afford it, but most teenagers would feel too old to go to after-school club. I had to leave my son alone in the house for two hours every day and five hours on Friday (because in Scotland schools are closed on Friday afternoons). He was 100% trustworthy, obv Wink but a 'free house' was a great temptation to his friends. I would come home to an empty fridge, a sink full of washing up and a house full of teenagers. Luckily, they usually stayed indoors and they were all good kids, but if they had not been, we could have had all sorts of problems as they were completely unsupervised. It also meant that I could not monitor their use of the internet, and had no control over what they were doing, which websites they were accessing, etc. As I said, it was just pure luck that nothing bad happened, but I felt uneasy every day.

As a single parent, you can't both be at work and at home supervising your own and other people's children. But whenever there are reports of 'feral' children roaming the streets, as a single parent, you can be sure you will be blamed for either not setting them a good example by going to work, or for not supervising them enough!

What I'm trying to say is that flexible working would really help parents of older kids, too.