Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Guest posts

Guest post: Second pregnancies - things ain't what they used to be

18 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 24/09/2014 15:12

At almost seven months into my second pregnancy, I'm angry, I've eaten far too much cake and I'm now oh-too-aware that no part of my body is actually my own anymore.

During my first pregnancy, I took baths, read actual ‘books’ (I know - what are they?), did yoga, spent weekends planning nursery colour schemes and cooed over the tiny-ness of the tiny clothes and teeny toys whilst floating around in kaftans.

This time around, however, my toddler - having already left my vagina like a badly assembled hammock - has taken full ownership of any accessible area of skin and/or hair she can do mild damage to, including the removal of several small but concerning chunks of nipple. And every other human person, including those in front of me in the checkout queue in Waitrose, has ‘bump-rubbing’ rights, apparently.

Metaphorically speaking, your womb becomes public property the moment you announce your first uterus-tenant. Now you're onto the second it’s far worse - the advice, the questions, the assumptions, the patronising glances from those women who are able to manage lipgloss even when it's not their birthday. Even I'm bored on my responses: ‘Yes, I'm sure it's not twins… but that joke is so hilarious and original I nearly gave birth RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET… and do you know? It hadn't occurred to me that two children might be slightly more work than one, but thank you so much for highlighting that - are you free for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs too because you are A BLAST!’

The joy, excitement about the unknown and blind optimism of my first pregnancy are a long and distant memory - now it's just restless leg syndrome and a big fat dose of reality all the way.

I don't think I've actually brushed my hair this month, let alone managed a lengthy soak in the tub. And the idea of any physical exercise after wrestling a potty-training 2-year-old in a mermaid costume round Debenhams for an hour is a joke.

And as far as teeny, tiny cuteness goes? Well, last week I picked the crusty bits off some slightly yellowing muslins and babygros at the back of the wardrobe, and used about twelve packets of baby wipes to get the carseat back to an acceptable standard for humans to breath near.

Frankly, I'm so busy running around after my miniature ninja poo-wizard, (she curls off magical toddler logs which sometimes remain hidden for days - quite a skill), I barely remember I'm pregnant until I go to stand up too quickly and my womb says ‘hell no, lady’, and thumps me and my cankles back down to earth.

Yes, I think it’s fair to say that my second baby-growing-journey has none of the magic and mystique of my first - and I am counting down the days until my new baby arrives and I can finally get on with those beautiful first few weeks of projectile shit, sleep deprivation and split nipples.

So, good luck to any second time mums-to-be reading this - this time around, it really is just you, your dubiously stained leggings and the well-meaning supermarket bump-gropers.

OP posts:
Vicky5910 · 24/09/2014 17:28

Exactly how I feel! Hmm

mum2kiss · 24/09/2014 18:01

Amen! Lol!

KD1983 · 24/09/2014 18:22

I can totally relate! It does get better though. :-)

abadoo · 24/09/2014 18:30

4 weeks to go until DC 2 appears and I hear you loud and clear. Yes, I know what I'm having, yes I have a name and no, I have no intention of sharing it with you because I'm in a queue at the supermarket. In fact, I'm just large and grumpy Smile

shypetal · 24/09/2014 18:33

My first is 9, so it isn't quite as bad, but it certainly has none of the magic or charm second time around, dreading entering the foray of poo, sore nipples and sleepless nights again ??

loislines · 24/09/2014 18:42

It only gets worse too. I'm pregnant with number three with a 3.5 year old and a 20 month old. I have no idea how many weeks I am, what we're going to call the baby or when I last changed the younger one's nappy! Forget long soaks in the bath, even showers go out the window some mornings. But we're all happy so who cares?

LittleBearPad · 24/09/2014 19:01

Thanks for us all.

Have to think about how many weeks I am. Haven't picked up a baby book at all my essential reading last time Laugh hollowly at the concept of a birth plan. Grumpy and knackered.

LittleBearPad · 24/09/2014 19:02

And pelvic floor shot to hell.

stargirl1701 · 24/09/2014 19:03

Ha! DD2 is 5 weeks. Totally!

NeverNic · 24/09/2014 20:53

Brilliant! I'm 36 wks right now and I feel like I've been pregnant about 2 mths in total. Until I went on mat leave I literally had no time to remember I'm pregnant. Were it not for varicose veins and burning skin every time I attempt to pick my toddler up, I think i could be one of those 'I didnt know I was pregnant' stories in Chat magazine. First time I researched items, hovered in Mothercare and cooed in Mamas and Papas. This time it was a supermarket sweep dash in Boots last weekend and cupboard full of beans and hot dogs for our 'supplies'. Grin Also 2nd time around I would quite like to go over to give myself the chance to pull my finger out!

Mammanat222 · 25/09/2014 15:00

I'm only 24 weeks in, DS is 22 months old. I work FT.

I am sooooo tired !!

FoxSticks · 25/09/2014 15:09

Ha! All so true! I'm 39 weeks now, my last was born at 37 so surely this one should be out now - what the hell are they doing in there? I had to go to the loo four times last night. FOUR TIMES!! That never happened in my first pregnancy. I really am done with being pregnant this time Grin

RunByFruiting · 25/09/2014 15:11

Being pregnant and chasing after a toddler is so much harder than having 2 under 2....so, hopefully, it'll be the same for everyone posting here!

I'm hoping I have the same experience of 3 under 3, pgp has taken over and two small boys aren't happy about it!

SpaghettiMeatballs · 25/09/2014 15:15

Nothing will ever be as bad as those last 4 weeks with a two year old and bump. The day she lay in the street and screamed when I was 40 weeks and I picked her up like a roll of carpet and carried her to the car whilst an onlooker asked if I should be doing that in my condition is a special memory.

On the upside it makes looking after two really easy because at least you aren't looking after a toddler and heavily pregnant anymore.

In fact my still two year old is at nursery today and my now six month old is playing quietly with a few toys and I'm laughing to myself 'what was hard about one baby again'??!

Littlefrenchmummy · 25/09/2014 17:58

SO true and witty ! Thanks for that x x

Strawberriez · 30/09/2014 20:23

So true! About 4 months pregnant with number 3 here and also knackered! I often find myself questioning my own sanity... Or lack of it!

cheesecakemom · 01/10/2014 12:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Keepontrudging · 02/10/2014 21:30

I could have written this! My hyper, wild and thoroughly wonderful DD is 17months and WOW do I know it! I am 26 weeks today and I honestly cannot believe I have well over 10 more to go. I am SO tired. I chased her around the supermarket today and didn't even have the energy to bend down to pick her up when she decided to play dead in the middle of the floor. I just stood over her and waited for her to get up again Confused I am so tired I am even past caring what people think... A miracle!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page