Guest post: 'If Britain really is becoming more racist, I fear for my children'

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I can't remember there being a single day or event which made me realise I was different. There was no name-calling or finger-pointing. There was no bullying or spiteful stereotyping. Instead, there was an understanding that dawned on me slowly. It happened when I was at primary school. I looked around and began to notice that there were hardly any other children with skin the same colour as mine.

Over the years, I began to hear the term 'ethnic minority' repeated. I began to learn what racism was.

This week, headlines have screamed that Britain is becoming more racist. The news items have been based on the annual British Social Attitudes survey - which found that 30 per cent of people described themselves as “very” or “a little” prejudiced against people of other races. In 2001, that figure was 25 per cent.

Whether or not the survey's results signify a rising tide of racism is open to question. But no matter how the statistics are interpreted, the survey has captured the attention of news editors for good reason. It comes at a time when the rhetoric of racism is edging its way back into our mainstream.

Many of us have spent this week digesting the gains made by UKIP thanks to voters swayed by their firm stance on immigration and Europe. As the swell of support for the far-right across Europe becomes unmistakeable, we watch police clear migrants from camps in Calais. If the raw data from the British Social Attitudes survey isn't enough to convince us that racial prejudice is worming its way back into our lives, then perhaps these events should give us pause for thought.

As a British Indian, I read all of this news with a with a heavy heart. It prompted in me a familiar feeling. Fear.

My fear doesn't come from hearing racist taunts. It doesn't come from being the victim of racist attacks. In fact, I would struggle to recall a single instance where I have been treated badly because of the colour of my skin. But that doesn't make me any less afraid.

I was blind to skin colour as a young child. But as I gradually realised that I was one of only a few pupils with dark skin in my school, I felt alone. I felt different. I felt like a significant part of who I was couldn't be expressed. This wasn't because of any outright repression of my identity by others. But it was, perhaps, because I felt that the easiest way to gloss over difference (because don't all children want to do that?) was to concentrate on the parts of life that were the same.

Later, at secondary school, at parties, at sports clubs, at university socials, at corporate events - it was this same feeling of being alone that haunted me. I didn't experience outright racism. But I knew, often, I was noticeable for my skin colour. I also, conversely, felt part of me was invisible. I felt again like a section of my identity wasn't being recognised. A part of my voice, the part which set me aside from the rest of the room, wasn't being heard. That part was instead being ignored - perhaps because life was easier that way.

Certain events over the years have made me fear racist attitudes despite never being a victim myself. The blatant hatred which followed 9/11 shook me. I worried for the safety of my family. Every racist crime which makes its way onto our news channels still has the power to do the same.

My first feeling is always shock. I question how a person can have so much hatred for another, simply because of the colour of their skin or the place they were born. It is, to me, incomprehensible. The fear comes afterwards, because there is a power in hatred which makes me afraid.

And then, after the shock and fear, there is always sadness. Sadness, because racism is a blatant repression of diversity. And it is through diversity that we learn, we grow, and we celebrate each other. Without diversity, we go nowhere. Without nurturing diversity, we silence each other and ourselves.

When I read about racism in Britain, I feel fear. And now that I also have two young children, I also feel immeasurable fear on their behalf. It sickens me that they could ever be treated unfairly because of the colour of their mother's skin. And, as well as the fear, I feel sadness for them. They deserve, like every child, to grow up in a world where their voices aren't silenced. They deserve, as we all do, to grow up being themselves.

Exactly, and there are many British people who have British born grandparents and so on, who do not live locally to where they were born. Where does this leave them?

My little family would definitely be discriminated against on this one. I was born and grew up in the south west, and as said upthread am married to someone from a different country. We live in a London.

There appears to be much blindness as to the real nature of UKIP, much in the same way as 1930s Germany with the National Socialists, who I understand many people thought would never gain power. We have a similar set up in the UK now, financial crisis, following by recession, with many people disillusioned with the mainstream parties and looking for a group of people to blame for their woes. Perhaps new immigration into the country could do with being controlled, however not to the detriment of those who have already made their lives in this country.

I wonder how many UKIP supporters have pictured their day to day lives without immigrant labour in our country. These people do many of the jobs that others just would not want to do, such as harvesting fruit and veg, along with packing it as well as the more prominent doctors, dentists, nurses and engineers. Would these supporters be so happy when they find that they cannot have the life saving procedure they need as the immigrant surgeon who was going to do the procedure is no longer allowed to work in the country? What about immigrant midwives? I know that the proposals for now would not create this scenario, but we are on the way to a country which will not be pleasant for immigrants to live in, and they will move out if they do not like what they see.

Britain needs immigrants, we would have a dearth of skilled workers without them being here.

Perhaps new immigration into the country could do with being controlled, however not to the detriment of those who have already made their lives in this country.

^^ this

If politicians don't do something to control the current level of immigration, and simply dismiss the resentment as "racism", people (including those who have dark skins and have made UK their home from since a long time ago) will become increasingly angry and resent the pressures that new immigrants place on housing, healthcare, education etc... And then there are some who try to make changes to the laws of this country, or radicalise the youth through schools/unis etc.....and society is too politically correct to feel they can say or do anything for fear of offending cultural sensitivities...the build up in resentment is understandable, and yes it is frightening for those of us who have made UK our home such as the OP, but I don't believe the answer is simple to dismiss this resentment as racism or be paralysed with fear. There is a message there for the politicians and it must be acted upon because it not go away, and will only get worse if they remain in denial about it.

I blame, in part Facebook. They consistently refuse to remove any racist posts that I report and some people are being swept away in a mass histeria way in a racist frenzy.

I fear also for my DC. I fear for my DH when he is out and about. There is so much ignorance and the government are letting it's people down.

this is typical: And then there are some who try to make changes to the laws of this country

we can come here, work here, have families here, become citizens, but please don't ever make the mistake of thinking you are british! british people can campaign for laws to be changed. british people can sign petitions,and vote, but not us, not even if we have citizenship. how dare we think we might?

we are here only insofar as it doesn't inconvenience or annoy britons- they will never accept us or think of us as belonging, and yet we should have 100% loyalty and gratitude to the uk for letting us be glorified guest workers.

i am not quite at the sewing valubles into the curtains stage, but it is increasingly clear- most british people are hostile to immigration and by extension immigrants. who knows what that will lead to.

my children have beautiful home counties accents, favour their fairskinned english dad, and have his very english surname. i am more grateful for this every day

We have given our children a Sri Lankan name and an English name each, they have taken their dad's Sri Lankan surname, however DH and I have both agreed that if things get messy here, we will encourage them to go by their English Middle names and to change their names to my very Cornish surname. We did this in the light of the July 7th bombings in London, as DD1 was born about 4 months after this, and we experienced first hand the wide berth that people were giving my DH on the tube. We are very glad that we did it.

DH works for a global corporation and we have been offered to base ourselves in a different country, we are glad we have the option. This may sound very extreme, but DH remembers living in a country where his dad could not find work due to his ethnicity, where their language was not recognised as one that was officially spoken, where he had to gain better results than his ethnic majority counterparts to study the same university course and of course where men of his ethnic group were routinely rounded up and just disappeared.

We do remain here one of the more tolerant countries on the planet. However we have to be vigilant to root out all sexism (which sadly is of much higher incidence amongst many sexist immigrant groups in the UK than in other groups due to culture which prefers boys to girls and has restrictive religious rules which keep women down), racism and other discrimination.

Next year people will be choosing between Labour and the Tories - that is what is what it will come down to come election time and both those parties will try to be seen to be doing something about new immigration given popular concerns about immigration of people of both white and non white skin.

87% of people in the UK are white (and of course plenty of them have come from other countries although not very many in lots of areas so it's a very variable issue and picture) and we have tended to be more welcoming in the UK of other groups than most other countries on the planet.

I'm Asian and recognise the feelings of lifelong difference/ fear you describe - it's not 'just you' as some people are implying. Having said that, I have lived in other countries in the EU and without doubt, Britain is the least racist country I've found. I don't know the full details of the survey, but I seem to remember that older and out of work men were more likely to admit to racist views, so I wonder if that group is simply becoming more ready to assert their racism? What with UKIP etc. making it 'acceptable' to do so? (and the media not helping) I may be over-optimistic, but I think that most younger people are accustomed to being part of a multi-cultural society, and are happy with it. So that may mean that (as we also become a more mixed society, with more intermarriage) that things will not be as bad as you fear for your children. I also wonder if non-white groups were surveyed - for e.g. some Asian people do hold racist views about Black and white/English people. I also think that some worries and tensions are not really about race, but about other things, and it's not quite right to call those racist. For e.g. I live in an area with a large Asian population, and a friend of mine (white) was telling me about a friend of hers (white) whose daughter was not allowed to play with her (Asian) best friend outside of school because the parents were concerned she would be a bad 'westernising' influence on her. Now I would hate it if my child were treated like that, not because I'm racist but because, well, it's a horrible way to behave to a child! I think a lot of people could make a lot more effort to fit in, to communicate, to be part of British society, and that need not mean losing their own religious or cultural identity. Otherwise we get parallel communities (which we have a lot of here) which doesn't lead to a happy society. Anyway, basically I am optimistic :) I think the younger generation of British people (of all backgrounds, cultures, religions and none) generally love their multicultural society and do not want to lose it. Final point: what's actually pushed this into the news is the pressure caused by EU immigration. It may well be that when people report themselves racist, that's targeted towards other white groups (Polish etc). So again less for you personally to worry about (though I understand and don't mean to minimise the worry).

@chibi. I'm afraid you misunderstood me, or I didn't express myself very clearly. When I wrote the words you specifically picked out i was thinking about sharia laws. Of course all British people could try to campaign to change the laws, whatever their skin colour or whether they are 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants. I have dark skin myself, and consider myself British , whether others see me as being British is another matter. However, I don't feel the automatic need to be defensive about all immigration, although I could see why other immigrants/ darks skinned people do and I think this is what makes having any sensible discussion about the issue very difficult.

I agree with Jane Parker that despite the recent surveys, the uk is still one of the most racially tolerant countries to live in.

We'll put mini toot. You read my mind.

i am not second or third generation anything.

i am an immigrant. i see the ad, read the headlines- i am not stupid, don't patronise me.

i have british citizenship, who knows for how long, or whether it will eventually be modified and made conditional

it is clear to me though, that despite being a citizen, working hard, being loyal, keeping my head down and my nose clean, other britons don't see me as belonging, or ascribe me equal status. instead, i and people like me are wrecking the country

i feel pretty bitter, and apprehensive. after all the rhetoric giving permission to say really vile stuff about us, what comes next?

I'm an immigrant too and same as you have British citizenship, and have also worked hard and made this country my home. I don't feel bitter, and obviously don't experience "racism" in this country the same way as you, for whatever reason. When i see the ads and headlines I don't feel it is targeted at me, simply from the words "immigration" and "racism" being used. I see this as a backlash against the uncontrolled numbers now coming in and the associated impact.

TBH, I think the OP is very poorly written. It goes from recent headlines about "racism" to deduce that the issue is simply to do with the colour of one's skin, and the fears associated with that, being of Asian ethnicity and having children of mixed race. It does not recognise that the UK is currently a very mixed society, and is becoming increasingly so. There is an issue, but I don't believe this is a "racism" issue, it cannot be untangled or resolved along race lines as those race lines are now very blurred.

I agree with mini's post.

Also there are wide regional differences. Where I come from (NE) there are not that many people who aren't white nor who have come from abroad. Where I live in my bit of London my children's fee paying school is about 75% Asian (mostly British born) and some classes 100% (I have not any official statistics but it looks like that percentage). It is a higher proportion than in my other children's schools when they were there but I see that as a good thing as my children's friends tend to be from hard working families who are putting their all into paying for an education for their child. I haven't come across anyone not letting my sons play with them because my sons might corrupt them as I suspect our family shares the work and life ethics of those others. None of us drink etc etc

I have been interested in the attempts to change the law to include Indian caste discrimination in the UK where Indian companies here sometimes have exercised it and I am very concerned about the influence of sexism and sexist practices particularly on girls but also how boys view women in some people coming here from abroad but I suspect like most English people who are not in a difficult economic position we try at least to be fair and polite and accepting. I think it's part of English culture.

Anyway no reason to be complacent although on the whole we do seem to be a bit better than some other EU countries. Didn't a Muslim group in the Midlands invite in white protestors and they all ended up eating tea and biscuits? www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/may/27/york-mosque-protest-tea-biscuits That is what all people who are different need to try to do - communicate and understand without compromising English laws against sexism and doing women down and of course free speech and our rights to wear as few clothes as the law allows us in any area of the UK.

Casual racism is sadly not rare and it horrifies me the amount of people who I know who think its acceptable.

Stand up to those casual racists too. Make them aware of their ignorance and make them understand that you do not share their sentiments and find them abhorrent.

That is what all people who are different need to try to do - communicate and understand without compromising English laws against sexism and doing women down and of course free speech and our rights to wear as few clothes as the law allows us in any area of the UK

Sadly, Jane, that IS what the vast majority of immigrants to the UK do and it doesn't stop them encountering racism. I work with international students from Libya, Iraq, Saudi Arabia who absolutely love finding out more about Scottish culture and getting as involved as they can. Their children go to school here and their English is getting really good. Their wives bring amazing food to the events my department holds and join in. They are doing everything they can to integrate here in a friendly, respectful way while still maintaining their own national, cultural and religious identities. And people can be very critical, especially when it comes to the need for Halal meat, time to pray, wearing the hijab and fasting.

No Muslim group should have to invite EDL thugs into their mosque kitchen for tea and biscuits. That was very brave of the group in question, but very risky too. I wouldn't want any of the Muslim families I know who are here from other countries to feel that they had to negotiate with racists, thugs and criminals or try to engage with them. Anything could happen. It's not their duty to convince idiots that they're 'alright.'

the muslim group invited protesters into their kitchen. Clearly the protesters weren't "thugs" as there was no violence, just a game of football. The muslims did the right thing.

Racism is fuelled by fear. The best way to deal with that is for those who do not believe in violence and do believe in tolerance to come together.

This guest post implicitly assumes that all those admitting to racism were white. It encourages fear and therefore promotes racism, it doesn't challenge it.

Racism is definitely not a white vs dark thing.

I mean not just a white vs....

It's been really interesting reading these posts. I'm a white Muslim convert with children of mixed race. Before I converted and made the decision to wear a hijab, I can honestly say I lived in a nice little middle class bubble. I used to resent people complaining about racism and playing the race card, as I saw it. I used to honestly think black and asian people were exaggerating things when I would hear of complaints about treatment from some white Britons.

However....already being darker featured than your average Brit/European, and after having donned the hijab..I got a very nasty shock at the actual reality of being an ethnic/religious minority in the uk. I was ridiculed at work, abused verbally by a client, spoken rudely to by members of the public like I was unable to speak English, and most notably in my mind, stared at and ignored by a seller at a farmers market. Shortly after the tragic murder of lee rigby, may he rest in peace, I was given a death stare by a woman as I came out of a shopping outlet. This is very trivial to what some friends of mine endured after the woolwich murder, namely being held at gunpoint by police and having their homes raided, yet never charged or having any proof held against them. I've been ignored by nice middle class yummy mummies at baby group and have experienced countless other trivial but hurtful events. I do think in Britain, despite the obvious multiculturalism and vast majority of educated decent Brits, there are of course a minority who feel others are beneath them. Whether that's due to race, religion or just a superiority complex I don't know, but I do know that it is happening and that like the OP, I do fear for my children growing up in this country. It is very difficult, not to mention hurtful, when I love my country and culture, all the etiquette and history, yet I'm made to feel like a stranger by some who see a hijab and judge immediately.

Apologies to ramble, this was just my experience and I'm not expecting anyone to agree. Thought it may give a perspective though at least

I've always made the conscious effort to not play the race card.
You can never really know how much of your subtle negative interactions with people are attributable to race, unless it is out and out racist.

I hope we can all invite our enemies or those who don't understand us in for tea and biscuits. it is the way we all learn about each other although I will fight vary hard for the right to argue that most religions are sexist, morally wrong and bad for women and the sooner there are no believers the better. Luckily we are free in the UK to argue this. Long may it remain so.

You don't need religion for misogyny to exist.

It certainly does not help. The more feminist atheist immigrants we have into the UK the better in my view (I am pro immigration too).