"After attending last year’s Mumsnet BlogFest, I wrote a post about how bloggers who go to conferences appear to be uniformly white. This post received a lot of responses including a positive promise from two blogging networks to meet up and discuss how to improve diversity and inclusion at their events. Mumsnet - the bigger of the two networks - made good on that promise, and a few weeks ago me and my lovely friend and fellow blogger Soraya went to Mumsnet Towers and had a great chat with some of the behind the scenes folks who make the Mumsnet BlogFest and the Bloggers' Network happen. The main thing we discussed was how to make non-white bloggers feel included and welcome.
Before I go into the detail, let me explain why this issue matters. If you're thinking – "I've never wondered what the ethnicity of the writer of a blog is. If I like it, I read it" - then thank you and I do hope you come back again. But, it's not about that. It’s about writers who are non-white seeing themselves up there - being 'in the room' is so important.
You see, I always wanted to be Marilyn Monroe, Debbie Harry or Madonna. I thought Paula Yates was amazing and loved her style, her chutzpah and how effortlessly cool she was. All of them had their own battles behind the glamour - but the point is, growing up, it meant everything to be white and blonde. Not dark haired and brown skinned. Blue eyes were better than brown.
My role models just weren't Asian or black women. From my own culture, Bollywood movies showed either unrealistic, pneumatic women or the archetypal Mother as martyr, and rapes were just part of the story rather than something to be condemned. When I was growing up, there was no Aishwarya Rai with her twin successful careers in Indian and American movies, showing that Asian beauty is acceptable to everyone. If I was to be successful, I had to be as white as possible.
Until I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and The Colour Purple, I had no idea that writing could be about tough, real lives. I discovered that Maya Angelou was outspoken, beautiful, imperfect and honest, and I still love listening to her mellifluous tones reading poetry and singing.
I grew up in a family that had old fashioned values from 'back home', and yet most kids from my sort of background lived a dual life. Some girls would arrive at school in modest clothes then change into mini skirts and make up. I wasn't one of those, but I did have another life outside my family. At University I went out drinking (far too much, really) and discovered a love of music and the arts. I didn't have boyfriends, but I knew a lot of Asian girls who did. But at home, I was a sister, a daughter, mostly obedient and didn't talk about my ambitions or interests. They weren't relevant.
As an adult, if I go to a conference where there are few - if any - people like me, I feel transported back to that dual life. I'm living outside of what I'm 'supposed' to be doing. People like me don't blog. We don't talk about our lives. Only we do. When I wrote about the 'whiteness' of blogging events a lot of bloggers responded saying "yes I noticed that too". Some also pointed out that they felt younger than the others, or that they were in a different social class. I guess we all have our Achilles heel, our point of difference.
"It's open to everyone, so if people don't want to come we can't make them," people might say. It’s a fair point, but if I go to an event and I'm one of few non-white bloggers attending, it makes me wonder why the others aren't there. In our culture, shame over being different comes from being left out - underrepresented and invisible. Under-representation at these events may be due to cost, or location or any other number of reasons that are not specific to ethnicity. However, the end result is the same: if I'm a blogger who only meets white bloggers, does that make me unique, or just weird?
So, we said most of this in our meeting at Mumsnet, and they are keen to engage with all bloggers. To this end, the Bloggers Network is introducing a new category where you can specify that you are a BME (Black and Minority Ethnic) blogger. Of course you don't have to, and if you prefer to blog anonymously you can just keep doing what you're doing. But it will be a quick and easy way to find other bloggers who have chosen to be in the category. It is a small step, but it means that we can find each other and maybe share and support one another in whatever ways are necessary. It is just nice to know you’re not the only one."
If you're a Mumsnet blogger, it's super-easy to add yourself to categories on the Network - click here for instructions. If you're not already a member and would like to join us, click here.