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Guest post: 'I know I'll never own my home - but does renting have to be so tough on families?'

118 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 08/04/2014 16:39

Recently I had a go at The Great British Class Calculator. I conscientiously answered questions about salary, accommodation, social relationships and activities, and my responses placed me in the ‘Emergent Service Class’ – the second lowest ranking.

However, the researcher in me decided to try a second time - I repeated all my responses except the one about property. Rather than ticking the ‘rent’ box, I ticked ‘own’. In my mind, I chose a reasonably-sized mortgage – one that I could afford to pay - and was instantly catapulted into the second highest ranking, ‘Established Middle Class’.

It’s not that I'm clamouring to join the ranks of the middle classes, but this illustration of my perceived social ranking is just one striking way in which being a private renter limits, compromises and defines my life. The rest of this post is devoted to a few more of them.

When people learn that I rent privately rather than owning a home, there are a few typical responses. Some make me feel as though I am 'second-class' - transient and probably a bit undesirable. They inexplicably equate renting with a lack of responsibility. Others assume my status is temporary and I just haven’t got around to buying anything yet. Friends and acquaintances remind me that I really must get on the property ladder at some point, assuming buying is something I can even consider and talking to me as though I'm insisting on playing the field like some confirmed bachelorette.

I understand their concerns. They - like me- know that in many ways the life of the mortgage-holder allows for much more independence and security than that of the renter. As long as the home-owner can pay each month, the property is theirs. Not so for the private renter. Obviously I need to pay, but other issues beyond my control can affect my tenure: the landlord’s whim; their finances; their age; what the letting agent thinks, to name a few. Plus, the home-owner has a property which is truly theirs and allows the addition of simple homely touches - things like painting the walls, hanging pictures, letting their children share their lives with a pet or allowing them to record their height and age on the bedroom door frame.

And once we hit the subject of children, the limitations and compromises I mentioned earlier become much more challenging. Renting works well for students or those who want a temporary solution to their accommodation needs, but the kind of stability required for a young family is difficult to find. Some tenancies do not allow children; other properties are clearly not suitable for them. Problems with properties tolerable as a single grown-up are unacceptable as a parent.

Issues with my property that depress and embarrass me, I put up with because to move my children based on superficialities or inconvenience would be selfish. However, when things go wrong and a new property is required, the practical and emotional impact can be enormous and repeated. Research suggests that in 2012-13, families who rented privately were 9 times more likely to have moved than home-owners. Whilst moving is stressful for everyone, those in private rented accommodation seem to suffer it rather more frequently.

In addition, families are increasingly being forced into moves with their young children because some landlords and agents are putting up rents to an unmanageable level after an initial 6 month contract or other fixed-term period. As the housing charity Shelter has highlighted, large numbers are being evicted as a result of asking their landlords to make necessary repairs to their properties.

Moving home with children of school age is problematic on a number of levels. For my children it was awful. They were uprooted from the safety and security of the school and friends they had known for 5 years. There were tears and anxieties and a lot of genuine sadness. On a practical level, placing three children at the same primary school was impossible. We are currently managing drop offs and pick ups at two different schools without a car and it's not easy.

Local Education Authority procedures for helping place children in a new area are frustrating. I couldn't have access to a list of schools with available places and I couldn't apply for school places without a firm new address in the area. It was the property finding equivalent of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Added to this mix was the fact that my eldest is moving on to secondary school in September and places had already been allocated, so we had to leave that decision to fate.

It was a stressful time, but it could have been much worse. I might have had each child in a different school. I might have been managing this without a partner to share the load. I might be one if the many who are finding themselves needing to go through this sorry process time and time again, aware of the terrible toll it takes on the confidence, security and education of their children and finding themselves powerless to avoid it.

There are lots of issues that need to be addressed in the UK private renting sector: lack of security for families; insufficiently regulated rents; a demand which far outstrips supply; inadequate procedures for dealing with ‘bad’ landlords, and last but not least, an overarching social belief that having a mortgage is inherently ‘better’ than renting a property.

Families in privately rented accommodation need security of tenure to encourage them to become full members of the community and to allow their children continuity in terms of education and relationships. At the very least this should be reflected in longer tenancy periods, the regulation of private rents and and maintenance of registers of 'rogue' landlords as Shelter’s campaign recommends. Ultimately, we can’t get away from the fact that our country really needs more houses, and a lifting of the cap on local council building would allow for this.

The private rental sector needs to be fair and less precarious for all, but particularly for young families. Politicians should stand up for the 9 million renters, acknowledge their concerns and fully commit to improving the situation for them.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/04/2014 15:00

The landlord's insurance company also regularly prohibits letting to HB tenants or charges several hundred pounds extra.

balenciaga · 10/04/2014 15:52

That calculator is offensive IMO

I did it about a year ago and it made us lower class something or other, like one or 2 from bottom, despite us being relatively high earners and dh being in a senior management job. Then I did it again but changed it to say we were home owners and it made us 2 or 3 higher up iirc! Shock

We do rent btw, for various reasons. One being I still think houses are still well over priced and so buying is a rip off. But Why are renters seen as such low life's? Makes my blood boil Confused !!

But also do agree the housing situation is beyond dire and needs sorting. Ffs decent shelter is a basic human need. sadly those at the top don't give a fuck and never will as a) it doesn't affect them and b) also they benefit from ludicrously high prices

JanString · 11/04/2014 10:31

I think the attitude towards people that rent in this country is appalling. After owning my own home for 10 years I sold to move abroad. Alas the move did not work and our family came back into the UK to start renting. Many times we laughed our heads off when a rundown property was shown to us and we were told that if we decorated the landlord would reduce the first months rent, ridiculous.
Attitudes need to change towards the renter in this day and age. Its as simple as that and its only by writing articles like this and people and letting agents changing the way they think about people who rent, which will assist with creating change.

DisgruntledofDidsbury · 11/04/2014 10:53

I can appreciate what you are saying about renting, but house ownership is no longer the be all and end all either. For a period last year, I had to claim benefits after having a baby and becoming a single parent. Having a fairly hefty mortgage because for years, we have been told 'home ownership is the thing to do', I discovered that I was only entitled to have about 50% of my interest only mortgage costs paid. If I had not been lucky enough to have some money lent to me by my family, I would have lost my house. I also developed a leak in my roof after the storms of last year- none of which I was entitled to help with- I am still dealing with it now (with a bucket!)and will be until I can afford the repairs. A friend of mine, in very similar circumstances but renting, was entitled to have her entire rent paid, in a similar property and in the same area- the equivalent of my full mortgage, and no doubt would immediately have had her roof repaired! I have now come to the end of my mortgage deal and because I am now 'self-employed' after starting my own business last year, (so not yet with three years accounting history) the very best mortgage rate I can get is 5.69%- against a base rate of 0.5%. Apparently, after a re-valuation, despite huge growth again in the property market, my home is still worth 10% less than it was when I bought it in 2007. I am currently debating whether to cut my losses and sell up, given the huge increase that my mortgage is now going to cost, so believe me, the grass is not always greener as a home owner!

princesspoet · 11/04/2014 11:42

I so identify with this, my hubby and I have basically moved every year in our 5 year marriage, the sad thing is my son hasn't celebrated more than one birthday in any of the houses in his short 3 years, our current house was some kind of divine intervention there was nothing on the market in our budget. I was growing more agitated with living with mould, mushrooms behind our sofa, ants and a landlord who patronised us because being mid twenties with a kid meant we had to be naive. We were driving down when we saw a guy put a to let sign up and that was it. We got it, we have had a winter with no mould issues so we are cautiously optimistic!

Blue73 · 11/04/2014 11:43

Excellent blog post! When I visit friends in Holland, Denmark and Germany they are aghast at how bad it has got in the UK regards housing. In Holland renting is the norm, and social housing is seen as the first choice rather than a last resort. It means that not only are families protected, but they know they can make that property their home and add those touches to it. It's also far more beneficial to the private landlord, they know that the property will be rented out for x amount of time, so no voids, and that the tenant will take care of the place. A stable home has so many social benefits, yes school places but also support networks, and even economic benefits for the area as families find places they like to eat/shop in and ensure trade for that business. Because rents are regulated, the family has more disposable income. I think buying for a lot of people is a con - the number that have to ultimately sell their homes to pay for care bills means the money goes back to the state anyway!

EllieandBump · 11/04/2014 12:29

I do completely understand, i was very nearly going to become part of a renting family, but luckily, we have been able to buy thanks to the governments help to buy schemes - which are mistakenly thought of as just for first time buyers, not all of them are! I was very nervous about living in rented accomodation as a family for all of the reasons you listed and more should be done to help protect families in this situation.

FragileBrittleStar · 11/04/2014 13:46

I understand where you are coming from. We were renting for years and the last 3 properties we had to move as the landlord wanted to sell/move back in- we only have preschool child so schools weren't an issue but it was still very disruptive and expensive.
that said I am a landlord too (accidental) and do not feel the law is in my favour- eviction is a very slow/expensive process, trying to ensure a tenant treats property well is impossible and some tenants are totally unreasonable (ringing you to get light bulbs changed, refusing to be in to allow essential repairs, not ringing when there is a problem, not paying on time etc) and the costs to me of changing tenants are ridiculous. I would do a long term let but there isn't the demand (flat is not a family home)

definingmoves · 11/04/2014 14:43

What a great article. We are expats who move every 3-5 years, and so I completely get the sense of insecurity. Our main challenge is that we try to only move schools when we move locations, but at times, renting makes this incredibly difficult. Like you, I find the school entry system incredibly complex, but don't be fooled into to thinking it's unique to renters; we once carefully scouted school districts and schools to find a good fit for our kids,contacted the school and the school district to apply for a place - only to be told that nothing could be done until the papers were signed. We then home schooled while the house-hunting was going on, bought a house in the correct area, only to be told when we arrived that there was no room. Soul destroying.

Doobydoo · 11/04/2014 19:06

We have 'owned' property ie had a mortgage...and rented.Currently renting.We moved from fantastic landlords who have a large estate and many properties to a private landlord who is a shit.We have had issues with mould,truly awful and have been made to feel like we are unreasonable!We are great tenants and look after the house but I cannot wait to go...we are here for location nowt else.We are chosing not to buy here as hoping to move in 3 years...am utterly fed up being treated like shit by peoplelike current landlord and the estate agent...who imo are very lucky as they have what they have through family not hard work,manners or intelligence/common decency.

Flipdefloo · 11/04/2014 19:45

We've just been to register with the council today, having been served notice for the 3rd time in 4 years due to the lls all deciding to sell up after indicating along term let. We have never defaulted in rental payments.

DP was a sub-contractor in the building/manufacturing trade and was hit in the first crash. He has since changed tack and is recovering slowly. I had to give up my last job for many justifiable reasons, including caring responsibilities and the role changing so much it became impractical (a lot of work away, as was DPs). We have spent all our savings on previous moves and have had to claim housing benefit to help us through.

We have one child at school, the other due to start. We have to downsize due to bedroom tax (which I don't mind for us, in theory) but there is NOTHING available in our price range in our village or surrounding area, where DP is now well networked and depends for work. I support DPs business and work part-time in a growing business in the next town, but not enough hours, or for long enough, for it to register as a local connection.

We have been placed in the highest category of need, along with 400 others already on the waiting list in our district. The Housing Officer told us they have had to stop taking calls and arrange a drop-in every day because they have been inundated with people in our situation in the last year or so. We are in the South East, where we have lived and worked all our lives expect for short periods of illness and after further education.

We could potentially borrow from family and stretch ourselves by taking on a property which is more than the LHA, however we have been warned if we then get into difficulty and default, we won't get any help as we will be considered to have made ourselves voluntarily homeless.

I have no idea what is going to become of us and feel sick to the core.

Sorry for epic post and hijack - I'm not posting for sympathy, but to make people aware that this talk of "recovery" seems fairly selective in who it's reaching.

GarlicAprilShowers · 11/04/2014 20:06

It's not just families. I fell off the housing ladder when illness took my income; I had to let my home go and become a tenant. There are no mortgages for people my age - that's it! One week after posting the Shelter campaign about complainant evictions on my Facebook wall, it happened to me. I'm now facing the utter nightmare of finding an acceptable place to live as a HB recipient, with no funds for large upfront payments and no hope of security when I find somewhere. It seems very likely I will have to live like a student, taking only what will fit in the back of an estate car since 1-bed flats have no storage space. I've been getting rid of my possessions ever since losing my mortgage, moving into sequentially smaller rented properties.

It's sad, it's frightening, and there's no way out.

We should be building swathes of social housing, imo, and bringing back the fair rent authority along with better legislation.

fielsted · 11/04/2014 21:24

Flipdefloo-Don't feel you've hijacked anything. The only reason I wrote this post was that I had a strong inkling that loads of people were suffering much worse situations than my own and in a small way it helps to have a forum to talk about these things. I really feel for you in the situation you describe. I'm sure you already know about the charity Shelter who you can contact for help and advice but just in case: Helpline: 0808 800 4444 and online advice at england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/private_renting
I'm sure you feel absolutely exhausted by it all and wish I could offer more than a helpline number. It really shouldn't be this way. I just hope things settle down for you and your family very soon.

fielsted · 11/04/2014 21:33

Doobydoo-I've certainly felt very upset by treatment which I found 'disrespectful'. I have been in situations in the past where I've felt powerless and as you describe have been made to feel unreasonable for asking for vital repairs. It's a very uncomfortable situation to be in and I do sympathise with you. You can seek advice if only to make you feel more empowered or justified (you may not need that) for Shelter (details above in reply to Flipdefloo). But I know that with family in tow the fear of upsetting a landlord can lead to tolerating all sorts of injustices. It's not an easy situation at all.

expatinscotland · 11/04/2014 22:00

YY, flipped, the idea that if you find yourself in this situation it's because you didn't save for a rainy day, a sentence that was actually uttered by vile Edwina Currie as to why there should be not be food banks.

We are in HA but have friends on relatively good incomes who are renting and have had to put up with serious problems from LLs regarding basic maintenance of the property.

Or they make complaints formally and get served notice.

One had a home that was so bad, a kitchen floor that had fallen in about 2 feet, the council threatened action against the LL.

She moved with her daughter into an HA property.

The LL made repairs, jacked up the rent and let it to a friend.

Flipdefloo · 11/04/2014 23:56

Thank you fielsted.

Garlic, I hope you find some security too. It sure does suck.

expat I think the llds could get a further £250 - £300 p/m if they re-let. I would be relieved to be wrong.

Beastofburden · 12/04/2014 09:58

Many accidental landlords mean well, and would want to provide a decent family home. But they are also the ones with the most to lose if tenants' rights are improved, because they are the ones who definitely need to be able to get their house back, if they need it again or want to sell it.

The professionals seem to split between those who take a real pride in it, and those who are (obviously) not bothering to post here, who are cynical and dishonest.

Where I am, it is a very bad idea to say "no children" because people won't pay the extra for a house if they don't need the space.

GarlicAprilShowers · 12/04/2014 12:38

Thank you, Flip. Nobody expected to be in this position at nearly 60! The couple next door are the same age, and they managed to strongarm the landlord into a 15-year contract by carrying out a full refurbishment themselves; their son is a builder. Neither house had been touched since the 1970s (re-wiring) and the wallpaper was from the '50s! I put central heating in here, and only got 2 years' protection.

I really hope you're allocated a reasonable place very soon. I tend to think the loan from your family would be better used on bringing a council/HA place up to scratch - some can be left in a sorry state, and you'll have a decent chance of living with the improvements you make. Best of luck. x

Flipdefloo · 12/04/2014 13:46

Thank you, that's a good point re: the loan. Not looking forward to living in a B&B miles from the area, if it comes to it though - school run from hell!

400 people on the waiting list is scary, but I guess they're not all wanting our area.

Does anyone know, if we haven't found somewhere and our lls take us to court to evict us, what stands against our name? Would it be a CCJ? I hope not. I have had a good credit rating all my life.

GarlicAprilShowers · 12/04/2014 14:00

No, if you're not in arrears it has no financial meaning. It's another fault in our social housing system that you have to wait for the eviction in order to be deemed unintentionally homeless: it doesn't count against your records in any way.

Flipdefloo · 12/04/2014 14:40

Oh good. That's reassuring. I guess it might affect future renting or reference through the same letting agent.

I'm sorry you appear to be so knowledgeable through experience, but very helpful to me right now Thanks

GarlicAprilShowers · 12/04/2014 15:02

YY, there's a lot I'd have done differently if I'd had better information!

Spottybra · 13/04/2014 08:05

Well put but fail to express the difficulties if finding a truly suitable house and the devastating impact multiethnic moves make to a child's emotional security. My sister had had houses with mould, damp, inadequate heating, no working plumbing, and is current housed in a fantastic HA house which she has gradually had to turn into a home. In the beginning it had no carpets or light fittings and she's had to work to build a home after her divorce. My gorgeous nephew hasn't come out unscathed but thankfully is a good kid, but moving home and schools every couple of years whilst living in the rental sector severely affected his education and will now affect his GCSE results.

Spottybra · 13/04/2014 08:06

Stupid bloody autocorrect on my phone - you get the gist of the post!!! I'm going to throw this bloody thing against the wall soon!

Flipdefloo · 13/04/2014 10:56

Couple more questions if nobody minds. Might start own thread but feel some of this could be useful to others reading.

If we are put in emergency housing which is outside the catchment area for our school - can we be forced to move DC's school?

Apparently we could be in emergency housing for 2 years Shock

What happens if we can't get them in anywhere?

Questions I never thought I'd be asking.