New Granny to be.

[Helmar]

I am fairly new on Mumsnet and just discovered Gransnet. My Daughter is expecting her first baby in 3 weeks and it will be my first Grandchild. Any advice about being a Grandma from all you experienced Grannies????

Ooooh, exciting times! It seems to be different for everyone. I am a pretty hands off Gran at a distance both because of geography ( 120 miles apart) and because the parents do guard their independence. Have found that difficult sometimes but actually the important thing is thast they are all well and happy and healthy. I am feeling OK about things at the moment but I know some grans who have such a close involvement in their grandchildrens' lives, it's very different. I also know a guy who always moans about being taken for granted as a ready made babysitter so maybe that can be a problem too. We just have to write our own stories don't we. We know there was no right or wrong way of bringing up the parents so we'll muddle through being grans too.

Thanks for responding Openbook - I am hoping to be quite a hands on Gran, Daughter and her partner living quite close. I want to be involved as much as i can, but i am aware that some grandparents can be considered too interfering etc and i dont want to fall into that trap. Guess i will have to play it by ear and be very carefull to only give advice and opinions when asked!!

The Gransnet section of the website doesn't seem to attract many posters although I know there are lots of grans who use the site generally - I wonder why? There are definite gran specific issues to discuss. Maybe grans are concerned about being too identifiable to their mumsnetting families - hmm, it's a puzzle.

Hello Hemar, I'm a fairly hands on Gran. I look after my Grandaughter twice a week usually and have done since she was a few weeks old, shes now 5. But I make it a rule to always follow my son and daughter in laws routine for looking after her and I only offer advice if I'm asked. This seems to be working out fine so far, we all get on really well.
Becoming a Grandparent is very special and as Openbook said we all find our own way to do it.

Helmar - have only just found gransnet though post on MN regularly. I am a nanny of 5 children - I only have sons so also have 3 dils who I am fortunate enough to have a good relationship with. I think the fact that the baby is your daughter's baby will be different though - I sometimes think a daughter will have a preference for her own mum being around, rather than the mil. I have seen dreadful posts on MN about mils.....mind it seems to be problems between the dil and mil rather than the sil and mil.

I certainly remember preferring my own mom around rather than my mil even though she was quite a nice woman, though very interfering when I had my first baby.

Well I think grandchildren bring a lot of joy - it is the agony and the ecstasty all over again - the joy at seeing them and knowing all is well for them and the agony when they are ill or something not going right.

I think the veryfact that you are asking the question means that you will be aware of the need to be sensitive and take the lead from the parents. I will say however that at the birth of my first grand child I was wildly excited and it brought it all back about my own babies and this happens each time one is born to be honest. I love seeing them as often as I can and I also love buying them all clothes. Mind I don't like getting up early with them in the morning, which I do (not frequently) but I know it's the best gift you can give to overtired parents - a Sunday morning lie in!

SO be prepared to the transported back in time so to speak and I wish you lots of joy with your new grandchild

Brand new, both to Mumsnet and to being a grandmother. Only child - daughter - expecting at Christmas. Full of joy, but also anxiety and sudden realisation that I know nothing about new babies, far less, being a grandmother. Even the word seems strange to me. Looking forward to sharing views and advice.

So your grandchild is now 5 months old. How's it going?

What I did for my first grandchild, and I'm going to do the same for the next one, is write them a little diary of their first year. I'm going to give it to them when they are 18.

When my son had his daughter (end of 2008), my first grandchild, I felt very shy of my DIL and didn't expect to be very involved. But they come round every week, and I often have my grandchild over night.

So I'm much more confident now, and I read back what I wrote when she was first born and it's quite funny what I was scared of. I was really quite worried at one point that she wasn't putting on enough weight, but didn't know whether to say anything. What do you say?? Her parents were worried enough without me rubbing it in. But I wrote it down and now that she is fine, I can look back and see how needlessly worried I was. It helps me keep things in proportion.

(Obviously I can just remove bits that are about me and my worries before I give the diary to my grand daughter!)

hello Grannies - isnt it wonderful. Cant believe my little Granddaughter is nearly 6 months old and of course she is beautiful.
I am still trying hard to be as helpful as i can without being interfering but its sometimes difficult not to give too much advice unless its asked for.

My daughter is going back to work in september and although i work myself will be having baby Isla 1 1/2 days per week. Think i will look after her at their house, might be easier because all her things will be there - what do you think, any advice. Do quite a bit of babysitting so dont anticipate many problems.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my posts.

grannieonabike - That sounds such a lovely idea, wish id thought of doing that.

hello everyone! just found this site, have any of you had a daughter suffering from HG? what did you do to help?

There is a new thread for HD here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1164352-New-Hyperemesis-Support-thread-founded-by-the-lovely-LucindaE