Bored!

[Openbook]

Deserve a kick up the arse I know but I am bored and a bit lonely. Retired recently and have not constructed a satisfactory new life yet. i have taken up some old interests and have more in the pipeline but i miss the company of work. Pre-work old friends gave up on me because I always put work first. Have never been very easy socially and it gets harder not easier. Don't want to work again or take on demanding voluntary work because of scars left after very stressful last 2 years at work.I am so lucky - not too broke, original husband, nice kids ( far away though - that's a whole new topic!) Tell me not to be stupid - actually tell me anything - I need the company!

Hi there - are only grans allowed in here? Just wanted to say it sounds as if you are doing lots of sensible , but perhaps it will take a little time for them to start to feel like a "full" life?

A really wise person told me that female friendships are like the tide - they come in and go out and come in and go out...so why not try making contact with some of those pre-work friends, you may be pleasantly surprised at how happy at least some of them might be to reconnect?

You sound lovely btw, which is why I didn't want to leave your post unanswered for too long!

Aw thanks for that! You're right about getting on the phone to old friends, I will make a start before lunch (gulp). It's the fun I miss - worked in a school which was stressful as I said but there was something funny happening all the time and colleagues made each other laugh to keep morale up. DH is lovely but I think he's getting fed up with me wanting to be busy all the time. Tends to say - Do you want to go for a walk? like I'm a bloody dog! Obviously we're not made of money either. Anyway, let's not be gloomy - it's Friday. Singing in a choir concert tomorrow - aargh. I'm going to help get the venue ready tonight with DH and then on to the pub. I sound lucky don't I - just very aware of time passing and "don't want to miss a thing" .

As we're struggling with a 8mo who sleeps very poorly, your life does sound quite nice to me just at the mo . But seeing him change so fast does make me realise that it is certainly true what people say about them being grown and left home before you know it.

How have you got on with the phone calls?

We have a fair few teachers in my family, so I have the greatest admiration for people who work in education. It is certainly not a job that the idle will flourish in! I know that you're right that something is always going on at school, even if not very pleasant. I really struggled in my last job before maternity leave, but I still loved the company. Luckily I met a lovely group of new mums through antenatal classes, and MNet is a bit of a lifeline too.

MIL is coming up to retirement, but has decided to keep working part-time for as long as she's able. She's single, so I think the company's a big factor. She's already started working 4 day weeks, and comes to see me (and only GC) every other Monday. So far seems to be working well for both of us, but then she is a very nice lady.

Will stop wittering on now! We bought this book for MIL a while back, and she said it was really helpful. Like you, she doesn't have lots of money and is worried about how far her pension pot will stretch. We wanted to encourage her to think about spending it on herself rather than saving it for her DD and DS (my DH)! Could be worth £6 just in case it has some ideas that work for you?

Well, made 1 call and we're getting together next week - not hard at all of course but I'll leave it at that for the mo.

Poor you with a sleepless baby! You know it will pass. Those friends you make now are very special because you share so much! My two were no real problem ( she says with 20/20 hindsight - I was not a patient mum). Granddaughter - 4mo - is gorgeous and pretty good too. Just had some pics sent on Flickr and we're oohing and gooing over them as I write. We don't see them as much as i would like - they're 120 miles away and very busy. Not an easy relationship with DIL. She tends to be polite but a bit distant. Being grandparents is a work in progress for us!

Of course you're right about our baby sleeping in time - we're just about to try some tough love as we've never let him cry and surprise, surprise he needs to be cuddled to sleep.

Sorry about your DIL relationship - I think MILs really can be in a no-win situation unless DIL is willing to meet you halfway. Although if she's polite but distant I shouldn't worry too much - you don't need to be her best friend after all, just need to get on well enough for you to get to know DGD. And it's early days yet. Can you skype maybe?

Well done on making the phone call by the way! I'd guess that you might need to make the running initially to let them know you're interested after the gap you've had?

You're right about the DIL relationship. We can skype but have only done it once - struggle to find times when it is convenient - ho hum! No - I'm really lucky but life isn't just exactly how i wanted it!
Good luck with your crying offspring - you can only do what you think is right at the time. No sooner do you sort them out than they move on to something new - is he teething yet or is that still a joy to come?