Calling all ladies who were mums in the 50's and 60's... 70's even... how did you cope?

[Jacksmamwahahaha]

Hi all -

I've never ventured onto Gransnet before, but have been thinking about this the last few days... how did you cope with motherhood and housework and childrearing etc 50-odd years ago?

I started wondering a few days ago when I had a very busy day - laundry, housecleaning, cooking, groceries... and my 20 month old toddler wasn't having a good day. So here I was slinging clothes in the wash and then the tumble-dryer, loading the dishwasher, throwing stuff in the slow cooker, driving to the grocery store, all with an unhappy toddler in tow... and I started thinking, man, this could all be so much harder.

I might have to do the laundry by hand in a tub. Peg out all my washing. Wash all my dishes by hand. Cut up every vegetable rather than be able to use a food processor or other nifty appliance. Sweep the carpet, rather than vacuum it. Wash nappies rather than use disposables. I might not have hot running water or an indoor toilet.

I might not be able to drive or have a car and have to haul a mahoosive shop home in a rattly pram rather than my sleek three-wheeler with huge basket underneath.

I might have a number of children really close together rather than just the one because I might not have birth control options.
I might be trying to do all this without having the damage from Jackbaby's birth repaired. I (or both of us) might have died during his birth. I might not have had access to medication for post-natal anxiety and depression... in fact, such a thing might not even be recognized and I might have had to struggle along without access to counselling.
I might have not have a husband who works part-time so I can work part-time and so he can have his time with our toddler. I might not have a husband who does as much housework as I do and changes as many nappies as I do.

All this really gave me cause to think, what was it really like 50-odd years ago to be pregnant, give birth, raise children, keep house etc.
We are so blessed with modern conveniences these days, and I think we take them for granted. Some people like to argue that these days women are also under more stress than they were years ago, but I don't know if I believe that entirely.

I would love to hear about your experiences.

I had DS1 in 1978 and DS2 in 1979

He was fed formula, and but not weaned till 6 months, but only because he was in hospital till 12 weeks being a prem baby.

I didnt have any scans, they were only for high risk pregnancies (although I did for DS2, born just 18 months later, but that was because DS1 was prem, although they missed the fact that DS2 had spina Bifida)

I was kept in Hospital for 10 days for the first birth (was allowed home after 4 days with DS2, he died at 2 days)

I was given no councilling or support over his death really.

I had terry nappies, and plastic pants, and only got liners from SIL in germany. And used cotton wool and water for wipes (although disposables as in plastic pants with a disposable insert like a large ST, came in not long before he was potty trained at about 2.5)

I had a coal fire, which heated the water, but was the only heating in a two bedroom house.

A Single washer with a separate spinner, although I did get a twintub, by his second birthday.

I didnt get a phone till I moved house and divorced when he was 5.

Central heating, was put into my Council House in the late 80's.

I got a freezer when my parents bought me one second hand one Christmas when DS was about 6.

I worked 3 jobs after I divorced as Ex would not pay any maintenance and trying to make resulted in nothing, and then you couldnt live on what benefits paid (plus I was far to bloody minded to take them)

Childcare was not regulated as it is today, I could have looked after as many children as I wanted, seem to remember Council coming to visit me and register me sometime mid 80's.

I had Family around to help out when I went on courses and worked evenings, so I didnt need to get childcare.

But we were more relaxed I think, and didnt seem to be so PFB about things.

I was a single mum in the mid 70s and if it had'nt been for my mum and dad I don't know how I would have coped as it allowed me to keep my job.After a few yearts I got a home of my own and can still remember leaving home at 6 in the morning to get DS to grans and then get the bus to work.At one point I had no washing machine just a big stone sink in the kitchen,a parrifin heater in the lounge and could not afford to put the water heater on except twice a week for washing ourselves and clothes,cold water does do wonders for the complextion though.I was a cook and sometimes if desperate had to pinch food,but for all that my DS remembers his childhood as very happy so did'nt do him any harm.

who remembers no bread over the christmas period you would be eating moldy old bread for days

Mums of the 50's 60's 70's... can you think of any retro tips what you now pass on to your children to help them raise your grandchildren??
Such as one thing my mum said to me was how she would lick her hand to wet my hair to make it curly!!

To acquire a sense of humour....

It's the unvarnished reality of how things were then. I survived it, as did others. There was a lot more support. My grandma sent all the sheets and towels to the laundry for example. And men's shirts. As did my mum, until she had a machine. Everything except smalls which were the only things washed at home. The butcher and grocer delivered everything on the list you took to the shop, so you didn't carry it all home. You sent four year olds on small errands like 6 eggs and a loaf.

And it was fun for a small child to be responsible. Everyone in the village helped you to fulfil your task successfully and gave you a biscuit or tiny snack to encourage you to be helpful. It was the complete version of the notion that It Takes a Community to Raise a Child. By the time I took the bus to school seven miles away at five, under some older child's nomimal supervision, I felt competent to deal with most travel. Before anyone points out the safeguarding issues, I want to record that they existed then too. I was warned, by a 9 year old, that one bus driver was not to be allowed too close.

Love this thread.

I was born in 1952 and I had my children in 77; 79 and 81
I was raised in a modern council house. We didn’t have central heating though and yes ice on the inside of the windows was common in winter.
I did have an electrical hot water bottle though in bed though and then I got an electric overblanket.
Mum had an electric washer.. it had a big paddle in the centre that swished the water about. No tumble drier. Washing went on the line or on the clothes horse .
She never worked, was always there when I came in from school.
All the kids played out in the front st. Everyone was from a similar background. All the dads worked manual jobs . No teachers, lawyers , doctors in our street.
All good decent people.
Several of us passed the 11 plus and went on to high school or boys grammar.
Others went to boys or girls tech and the ones that didn’t went to the secondary modern. All did well in life. There were plenty of jobs then in the factories, steelworks , chemical industries, hospitals of which we had three compared to now, shops , offices etc.
It was a lovely time to be born. The war was over but it still loomed over us like a giant shadow for many years and I was born 7 years after it ended.
Our town built lots of social housing so it was quite forward thinking as it cleared up the mess of the air raids. Our house for example was built in 1952 and we moved in in 1954.
In fact mums neighbour passed away in November and feeling nostalgic at Christmas I went and sat outside mums house which I sold this year and her neighbours which were both in darkness and thought ,that’s it now ..I don’t know anyone in the street 😥
I’d better stop now. I could gibber on all day 😀

Didn’t realise it was an old thread.

I had first child in 1979, twins in 1982 and last child in 1991. The main difference between first baby and last for me was the advent of affordable disposable nappies. With my first 3 I was a slave to soaking, boiling and hanging out terry nappies. I think I coped because I had no pressure to go back to work, we were only just covering bills and I did do some home type work but my main focus was on bringing up the girls. Life was simpler, not so many distractions and aspirations. Content with humble life style. So whilst I was busy and knackered most of the time I at least had the time to parent.

I do remember running to the paper shop on the parade at the end of the road (1950s council estate), when it opened briefly on a Sunday lunchtime, to buy a block of Neapolitan and some wafers.
Ran home with it wrapped in newspaper!

Simple life, fewer expectations, family close by?
I don't know I had a 3, a 3 year old and then new born twins... there were days when I had to close my eyes whilst they watched " You and Me" for 15 mins I think.
I was organised, had to be but husband helped if was there, it was ha d but just a short period of really dependent babies...this was 1982 and they were born vaginally and they were both breech 😳