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Calling all ladies who were mums in the 50's and 60's... 70's even... how did you cope?

88 replies

Jacksmamwahahaha · 08/10/2009 21:28

Hi all -

I've never ventured onto Gransnet before, but have been thinking about this the last few days... how did you cope with motherhood and housework and childrearing etc 50-odd years ago?

I started wondering a few days ago when I had a very busy day - laundry, housecleaning, cooking, groceries... and my 20 month old toddler wasn't having a good day. So here I was slinging clothes in the wash and then the tumble-dryer, loading the dishwasher, throwing stuff in the slow cooker, driving to the grocery store, all with an unhappy toddler in tow... and I started thinking, man, this could all be so much harder.

I might have to do the laundry by hand in a tub. Peg out all my washing. Wash all my dishes by hand. Cut up every vegetable rather than be able to use a food processor or other nifty appliance. Sweep the carpet, rather than vacuum it. Wash nappies rather than use disposables. I might not have hot running water or an indoor toilet.

I might not be able to drive or have a car and have to haul a mahoosive shop home in a rattly pram rather than my sleek three-wheeler with huge basket underneath.

I might have a number of children really close together rather than just the one because I might not have birth control options.
I might be trying to do all this without having the damage from Jackbaby's birth repaired. I (or both of us) might have died during his birth. I might not have had access to medication for post-natal anxiety and depression... in fact, such a thing might not even be recognized and I might have had to struggle along without access to counselling.
I might have not have a husband who works part-time so I can work part-time and so he can have his time with our toddler. I might not have a husband who does as much housework as I do and changes as many nappies as I do.

All this really gave me cause to think, what was it really like 50-odd years ago to be pregnant, give birth, raise children, keep house etc.
We are so blessed with modern conveniences these days, and I think we take them for granted. Some people like to argue that these days women are also under more stress than they were years ago, but I don't know if I believe that entirely.

I would love to hear about your experiences.

OP posts:
Dalrymps · 23/05/2010 22:01

Any chance of resurrecting this thread? I found it really interesting reading

Dalrymps · 24/05/2010 07:44
Smile
Dalrymps · 24/05/2010 19:00

pleeeease

Dalrymps · 24/05/2010 22:15

Anyone?

Openbook · 25/05/2010 20:06

I was brought up in the 50s. My mother had to get up and light the fire in the kitchen - a sort of coke fuelled boiler that heated the water. She then cooked breakfast ( full English sometimes or beans on toast).We came home for dinner. On wet days we would hang our gaberdine macs up in the kitchen but they would still be wet when we put them back on to go back. We had a sitting room and a front room but only used the sitting room because there was no central heating. We were put out in the pram apparently up at the top of the garden and left to cry or sleep. Played in the road a lot - skipping, tennis, roller skating, stilts and were in and out of neighbours houses a lot.

Bringing children up in the 70s and 80s was very different from then but different from today as well. It never occurred to me that I should take maternity leave - of course I was going to give up work - that was part of the point of getting pregnant. I had an X-ray with my first because he was breach and they needed to check something - don't know what. Scans came in by my second. I stayed in for 9 days after ds1 and 5 with ds2. Pre seat belts, children monkeyed around in the back of the car or stood in the back between the two front seats to get a good view. Dh was good at the random left handed slap behind him when things got too noisy. Children were smacked fairly often. I never did the taxi service round clubs but that was just me and my boys - we were all happier being at home. I loved the fact they were good at playing - alone or with friends, inside or outside. They had plenty of toys and I didn't mind mess really.

Dalrymps · 25/05/2010 23:15

Ah all very interesting!

Wow at a full english or beans on toast for breakfast!

at being left at the top of the garden!

I've heard that before that they did x-rays before scans. I was a child of the 80's, we spent hours playing outside during summer and only went home to eat, bliss!

1944girl · 07/08/2010 23:57

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1944girl · 08/08/2010 00:32

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1944girl · 08/08/2010 00:36

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RespectTheDoughnut · 08/08/2010 01:01

This is such an amazing thread. 1944girl, the bit about your sister's baby has made me very sad. 6 weeks is a long time to get to know a baby before you're forced to give him up :(

Fontella · 08/08/2010 01:50

Have loved reading the replies and can add a few nostalgic remembrances of my own.

I was one of five children, 3 boys born in the 1940s, my sister and I born in the 50s. We lived in a three bedroomed house. My sister and I were in with my parents until I was about 7, sis 5, two brothers shared one room and the eldest had a box room on his own. When the brothers got married (very young, two were only 19, another 21) and moved out, we got their rooms.

My dad was demolition worker, out all day (drove a lorry through work - we had no car until the mid 60s). My mum never drove but was a State Registered nurse and was at home during the day and worked night shifts at the hospital and also did a morning cleaning job at a hotel. She worked like an absolute trojan and walked everywhere - miles in the course of a day to and from her two jobs as well as shopping and everything she did at home. We had a small parade of shops at the end of our road (co-op, newsagent, chemist, hairdresser, greengrocer and hardware store) and got bits from there. On Fridays after school we would walk with our mum two miles to a supermarket (not much more than a big shop really) and lug all the bags of shopping back home.

While my sis and I were at primary school my brothers were all working from aged 15 - all three doing plumbing apprenticeships (and all well off now thanks to the skills they learned lol). We'd get up in the mornings and light a fire (dad and brothers had already left for work, and mum wasn't home yet) and were experts at it. Sheet of newspaper in front of the grate to make it 'catch'. It was the only heating in the house, and it had a back boiler to heat the water which was like gold dust. The mantra in our house was 'don't waste the hot water'! In Winter the whole family would congregate around that fire.

We had power cuts all the time. Remember once the power went off on Chrismas Eve and was out until the day after Boxing Day. But we had gas cooker and always candles and paraffin lamps, so it was never a hardship. Remember clearly all sitting around eating Christmas dinner by candlelight.

We also had an outside loo (bloody freezing) and the old hard 'Cresco' (like tracing paper) toilet sheets. Useless! When that ran out we'd use cut up newspaper. We'd have porridge for breakfast (every friggin' day lol) and our main meal was school dinner which cost five bob a week. We'd dress ourselves and walk to school about a mile and a half away. When we got home, mum would have had a few hours sleep, the house would be gleaming, and we'd have 'tea' beans on toast or egg sandwiches or something. Never a big meal. Once a week on Fridays we'd have the treat of 'fish and chips' and had the best chippy in the world at the end of our road. A shilling cod and fourpence of chips. An added bonus was the free packet of 'scratchings' (all the crapola from the friers) that they'd give us ... and we loved it lol!

As someone already said the fridge was tiny with a little 'freezer' box that you could just about fit a packet of fish fingers into. We had an outside pantry (next to the toilet lol) where all other food stuff was kept. We had a bath once a week (Sunday nights) but were far from dirty - everyday you'd have a strip wash with a small basin of warm water and scrub your neck, feet etc. Can't understand why our hair never got greasy but it never did, but it was always tied up in braids or pony tail or whatever. School uniform was very strict back in those days, and we'd get two clean shirts a week only, same with socks but the rest of it we wore all week. When I went to Grammar School aged 11 I'd cycle four miles there and four miles back, all weathers and thought nothing of it.

Mum did laundry once a week and it was a major exercise. Out would come the twin tub and it would take over the kitchen. Load after load, fed from the taps with a rubber hose, then out on the line then a mammoth iron and she ironed everything - tea towels, knickers the lot! (I don't iron anything apart from once in a blue moon). Beds were proper cotton sheets and blankets and eiderdowns and changed once a week - Sunday nights after we had our baths and I can still remember that feeling of being all clean and climbing into the wonderful clean bed with the crisp sheets, all ironed, fluffy pillows.

In the garden mum grew all kinds of veg and we had gooseberry and redcurrant bushes. All through the Summer the salads and dinners we had invariably included something from the garden. Every Sunday without fail even in the height of Summer we'd have a roast for dinner and then a 'salad' tea. One thing I remember with horror is Heinz tinned vegetable salad, which was disgusting. Pudding was nearly always tinned or fresh fruit with condensed milk - the latter I hated as well.

I remember getting our first phone (around 1970) which was party line with our next door neighbour. Very often you'd pick up the phone only to hear them talking to someone.

I also remember the ice on the inside of the windows and our breath coming out in white clouds inside the house!! Piling up the bed with coats and extra blankets in the winter and going to bed wearing more clothes than we wore in the day lol, including knitted woollen bedsocks.

We were always playing out - building go karts, dens, playing tin can alley in the street (hardly any cars), going up the downs with a bottle of water and a greaseproof bag full of jam sandwiches as a picnic. When the snow came I remember us taking an old door as a sledge and having the time of our lives going down the hillsides on it.

Apart from that our main pastimes were reading (Enid Blyton books and others of that ilk) and the occasional bit of TV but there were only two channels and apart from 'Watch with Mother' at lunchtimes nothing on until the evening. We had a black and white telly with a coinbox that you had to put sixpence into and was always running out.

Other memories are the 'Corona' man who would bring fizzy drinks to the house, cherryade, limeade ... all kinds of bizarre flavours that were such a treat! Also remember the Rag and Bone men coming around with their horse and cart to collect your junk. Milk was delivered every day and in winter the bottles would freeze and the plug of cream at the top would burst through the silver foil toppers or often the birds would just peck through the lids.

Think I've written enough for now, but looking forward to reading more posts on this wonderful thread.

notagrannyyet · 08/08/2010 06:11

I answered the original OP, but I'll come back for another go.

I grew up in the 1960s. There was mum, dad, and 5 DC. I was the oldest. Housing was in short supply, so when I was a baby we had 1 room at gran's house. This was very normal for young families in those days. At least gran had a bathroom and an indoor toilet.

When mum and dad moved us into our first family home we went back in time to the victorian ear! To be fair we did have running water and electricity. I don't remember the early days but at first there was only a cold water tap. The first thing dad did was re-plumb the kitchen and have an immersion heater fitted. We had no bathroom and an outside toilet up the yard next to the coalhouse. Mum used to give us an all-over wash in the kitchen sink. I can still remember shivering with cold and crying as I lay over the draining board have my hair washed with voseen(sp?) shampoo. We had a bath once a week in front of the fire on a Sunday night. I'm sure we kids all used the same water. I think mums treat was to go back to grans on a Friday night for a good soak in a real bath!

I still remember the winter months and frozen pipes. Little parafin lamps under the U-bend of the kitchen sink and in the outside loo. When it was very cold things still froze. I remember dad boiling a kettle to try and unblock the sink. The only warmth down stairs came from open fires in the two small living rooms. We spent most of our time in the back room next to the kitchen. The front room was kept for best and so hardly ever used. We had no heat at all in the bedrooms. Dad had blocked off the old fire places to stop draughts. It was very cold in the winter I can remember ice on the inside of the glass.

There was only two large bedrooms so mum dad and the baby had one and the rest of us shared. It must have been a very large room because we all had our own beds and there was space to run around.

Mum ordered groceries every week from the Co-op. Dad would collect one large cardboard box full of goodies on his way home from work on Thursdays(pay day). It would always contain any tin stuff, cheese, sugar, tea, biscuits, butter, lard, any dry stuff. Everything else was shopped for daily. I can remember being sent to the butchers and green grocers with a note and some money in a purse from the age of 3 or 4. Lots of veg was home grown, and gran had some fruit trees. Bread was deliverd every day except Sunday and milk was delivered every day. The milkman also left two bottles of fizzy pop on a Friday.

Dad never learnt to drive so we walked to most places. We all had bikes and I remember going for picnics with friends and my younger sisters at 8 or 9. We would ride to the local woods or just to neighbouring villages and sit and eat our jam sandwiches.

As children we rarely travelled more than 3 miles from home. There was a good range of shops in the village which supplied everthing we needed. We would visit the local city 2 or 3 times a year to go to the big shops. This would mean a bus or train journey.
I didn't visit a library until I was 9 and one opened in the village. I was about the same age when I was allowed to go every Saturday to the local swimming pool. I went with a group of school friends on the bus. We would start off with a seat but as the bus filled up we children would have to stand up so that adults could sit down. If we didn't stand up quick enough the bus conductor would tell us off!

1944girl · 08/08/2010 16:15

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oldhippygranny · 17/08/2010 08:03

Had our first child in hippy house in the East End of London - I too had old twin tub washing machine, by the time you heated water, put washing in and cleared up from the others who'd messed up the kitchen etc the baby was awake again & wanted feeding & thus the cycle started again............. I found it hard and envied my friend who was a single Mum in a lovely council flat decorated by her dad etc This was the era of the generation of love & peace................... 1979

grinningbee · 17/08/2010 09:26

1944girl - out of pure curiosity, were your family from Ayrshire?

1944girl · 30/09/2010 00:27

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janfran · 01/10/2010 17:25

My Mum had 8 children from 1948 - 1968. I remember Virrol on dummies to keep us quiet and bodices to keep us warm. Our house was busy but really efficiently run and the older children never had to look after the younger ones - my Mum did it all. We all had work to do around the house and I remember it as a really happy family. My poor dad worked long long hours though.

I had my children in the 70's - and I was in hospital for 10 days after the first one! And he (like his brothers later on) was kept in the nursery and only brought to me for feeds. WHen I got him home I had no idea how to care for him!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 01/10/2010 17:33

Just asked my mum who had my sisters in the 70's her reply... "I just got on with it"
Thanks for the indepth answer mother!

MoralDefective · 04/10/2010 17:20

Just read through this....my Mum who is 85 always calls broccoli....calabrese...when did it change to broccoli?....when we were born in the 60's she had no 'mod cons' as we lived abroad(forces family)........but when we went to Hong Kong we had an Amah (chinese maid)who lived in!...Mum always hated it but apparently it was the 'done thing'........back in UK we had a twin tub which we let overflow with boring regularity.....she also says that she 'just got on with it'........her own Mother had a much crappier time as her husband died and left her with 3 small DCS.......no income support,child benefit,N.H.S,Housing benefit...etc.....she had to take in washing,lodgers,work in the school kitchens etc and bring the kids up on her own.....RESPECT.

Lilymaid · 04/10/2010 17:25

my Mum who is 85 always calls broccoli....calabrese...when did it change to broccoli?....

I can't remember seeing much broccoli before the 1980s - it probably was generally known as calabrese before then and it wasn't such a common vegetable as it is now. My mother never cooked it back in the 60s and 70s and she was quite an adventurous cook.

JiggeryPopery · 04/10/2010 17:43

Slightly off topic, but this is about the shock of my very modern Wink cousin's first baby, born in 1980.

No babies had been born in the family for a good 10 years when cousin and his wife, who were well off and she was a lawyer even though she was a woman Shock had their first baby.

Well the hand knitted bootties and bonnets and shawls and matinee jackets were received with thanks, but never seen on the child. There was no proper pram but a pushchair with a carrycot sort of contraption. That's when the sling - a sling! - wasn't being used, and later there was a snazzy fold-in-two stripey Maclaran pushchair that was called a 'buggy' (though actually I'm not 100% sure that's what it was called then).

The baby had powdered milk to drink and those new disposable nappies, and Wet Ones for wiping. He had food from jars, special food for babies that was better than real food. There was a plastic highchair and when the baby was very small his mum went back to work and teh baby went to a creche. Work! Even though she had a baby now! Whatever for!

In other words, things that were run of the mill and expected 10 years later, were sometimes seen as outrageous or glamourous or plain insane a short while before.

elkiedee · 04/10/2010 17:49

I don't know how my mum coped. I was born in 1969, when she was 25 (I didn't have babies until my late 30s) and my dad left soon after. She was a student and took me to Japan for 6 months, France and China for a year each, I had every childhood infectious disease going, mostly abroad - chickenpox, German measles, mumps (the last was in China). Then I got bronchitis in Beijing. She got her PhD. And she found time to go on anti war demos, one of my favourite baby photos features my mum, me and a load of Japanese riot police....

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/10/2010 17:54

My mum had me and my two siblings in 60s.

Parenting was physiclly much harder I think (wahing nappies, no car, making coal fires etc, no convenicence food). We were fed formula (and thrived) and were in a strict routine from an early age, were potty trained by 18 months and playing out in the street by 3 or 4 (a very quiet cul de sac it has to be said and hardly anyone had a car)

Bonsoir · 04/10/2010 17:54

I was born in 1966 and my sister was born in 1968.

My mother always had:

  • a car
  • a washing machine
  • a refrigerator
  • a cooker
  • a freezer
  • a vacuum cleaner
  • central heating

She used disposable nappies on holidays/when very busy and had formula and bottles.

I don't think the extent of her modern conveniences was very unusual at the time. She was glad when she finally got a dishwasher as she was one of the last of her friends and family to get one.

Shoshe · 04/10/2010 18:25

I had DS1 in 1978 and DS2 in 1979

He was fed formula, and but not weaned till 6 months, but only because he was in hospital till 12 weeks being a prem baby.

I didnt have any scans, they were only for high risk pregnancies (although I did for DS2, born just 18 months later, but that was because DS1 was prem, although they missed the fact that DS2 had spina Bifida)

I was kept in Hospital for 10 days for the first birth (was allowed home after 4 days with DS2, he died at 2 days)

I was given no councilling or support over his death really.

I had terry nappies, and plastic pants, and only got liners from SIL in germany. And used cotton wool and water for wipes (although disposables as in plastic pants with a disposable insert like a large ST, came in not long before he was potty trained at about 2.5)

I had a coal fire, which heated the water, but was the only heating in a two bedroom house.

A Single washer with a separate spinner, although I did get a twintub, by his second birthday.

I didnt get a phone till I moved house and divorced when he was 5.

Central heating, was put into my Council House in the late 80's.

I got a freezer when my parents bought me one second hand one Christmas when DS was about 6.

I worked 3 jobs after I divorced as Ex would not pay any maintenance and trying to make resulted in nothing, and then you couldnt live on what benefits paid (plus I was far to bloody minded to take them)

Childcare was not regulated as it is today, I could have looked after as many children as I wanted, seem to remember Council coming to visit me and register me sometime mid 80's.

I had Family around to help out when I went on courses and worked evenings, so I didnt need to get childcare.

But we were more relaxed I think, and didnt seem to be so PFB about things.