Finding this hard

[serajen]

My beautiful daughter, her partner who I get on really well with and my adorable grandson (6 months) live with me, we're all in a small 2 bed house, they are on a council waiting list, now looking at possibly privately renting in not too distant future. How do I .... help without interfering, advise without undermining, try to keep my distance when all my instincts are towards the LO! I can't switch off, if he cries at night (in their room) all my instincts are on red alert to go and settle him although I know I must leave it to them, as his parents, I'm so tired from broken sleep, he's good at night mostly but any little sound from him and I'm wide awake, just as I was when I had my daughter 21 years ago! Have always been a single mum, work full-time, am deeply honoured to have chance to be so close to my beautiful grandson, but boy it's hard, in so many ways! Love them all deeply just need to offload somewhere! Thanks for listening.

Its probably hard for her too - why not get SIL to have the baby and go out with her for a drink and have a good old natter - see if you can airt your feelings and get some boundaries from her - she may love you to have the baby one night a week if he wakes in the night?

Thank you Madame C. We do air our thoughts and concerns regularly, having once let things build up too long. I think it's tough on us all but also really rewarding and enjoyable, had forgotten how tiring a LO is and we're trying to wean him at moment which isn't proving easy! Am sure it was more simple in my day but maybe I've just forgotten all the hard bits!

You are so sweet.

Why not ask them if you can be 'on duty' some nights. Then at least you can relax the other nights with earplugs, knowing that they are on the case, and it will give them some full nights' sleep too.

You are so sweet.

Why not ask them if you can be 'on duty' some nights. Then at least you can relax the other nights with earplugs, knowing that they are on the case, and it will give them some full nights' sleep too.

Thank you georgie mum. They are both on duty as he sleeps in a cot right next to their bed, think I'm just too hyper-sensitive to any little noise he makes, I rush in (if they're downstairs) and put his dummy back in, make sure he's ok, etc. Can't switch off but the ear plugs are worth thinking about for a few hours unbroken sleep!